


His Errand Boy

by myshatae



Category: K-pop, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Genderbending, Yoo Kihyun / Original female character - Freeform, Yoo Kihyun-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:47:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 51,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28404984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myshatae/pseuds/myshatae
Summary: Despite being a girl, Choi Minjae is the errand boy of the seven rich lads of Seoul. Hiding one's gender for the job has never been easier with her boyish looks and aura.But things take a different turn when circumstances lead her to start living with the rich boys. There's one particular lad who just wouldn't let her rest at all.Yoo Kihyun / original female character!!you can find this work on my wattpad profile too, myshatae!!
Kudos: 3





	1. Their errand boy

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my really old works. I wrote it a few years back when I'd first became a monbebe. Please look over the grammatical mistakes and typos, if you find any. I promise this story is still a fun and light read.
> 
> Happy reading!

_Sometimes I wonder why is it always me? Why is my life like this._

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There they were, the seven rich boys with their high end life, sipping tea on a lazy afternoon sitting outside their mansion. 

And me? Working hard in that very garden with sweat dropping from my forehead to my toe, with the scorching sun shooting its rays that stung my bare neck under my cap. 

It was an unflattering job, errand boy. I didn't have any exact thing to do but execute any small job they'd order me to do in the house. Leaving aside this title of 'errand boy', other things in my life sucked too, 

1\. While the boys lived in one of the biggest mansion in Seoul I lived in a slum. Not quite a hygienic or a good place to stay. Your neighbours could be drunk or having a loud sex anytime of the day and you'd have to endure it all quietly. 

2\. As much as the aroma of their tea and snacks made my stomach growl and my taste buds produce saliva, aka drool all I could do was to sigh cause I didn't get to eat breakfast. I was already late to my morning job, delivering newspapers when I'd woken up. 

3\. If I wasn't dirt poor and actually had someone to have my back, I could've gone to college. Not be a loser high school dropout. 

I rubbed my sweaty forehead with the back of my palm, dropping the scissor as I pulled out my phone from my back pocket. An incoming text from 'wifu', my face lit up as soon as I read the contact name. 

_"Oppa, when are you coming? I've been waiting for a while!"_

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__

Sending a quick reply that I'd be there soon I turned on my heel with a bright smile, facing my cap the right way that was on my head backwards all this time as I started walking towards the rich bitches. 

Yes, that's what they were. _Rich bitches._

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Honestly, I was content with my life. The smile on my face wasn't fake, the dramatic thoughts from before were true, but the feelings behind them? Fake. 

I like to be dramatic sometimes. My life at least didn't suck, not that much because, 

1\. Even if I lived in a noisy, unhygienic place I could meet the weirdest kind of people all the time. Isn't that a wonderful experience? 

2\. It was a given that I'd be slurping down on a hot bowl of ramen from convenience store later in the afternoon but these rich lads? I was sure they had never had the heavenly taste of cheap ramen after a hard day. 

3\. And, lastly, who even liked studying? I was glad that I didn't attend college. 

But still, it might have been some kind of fun experience. College, that is. 

"Kihyun-sshi, I am done!" I smiled brightly at the short latter giving me his back, too invested in his cup of coffee and phone. 

"Good job today, minjae!" The adorable dork is what I always called him in my mind, Minhyuk smiled at me as he passed by with the sunshine smile on his face. 

Followed by a cheeky looking devil, Im Changkyun, the only rich bitch I couldn't get at all, eyeing me curiously as he vanished through the door leading to their house. 

But still no response from the other lad, the nagging mom Kihyun. 

"Kihyun-sshi?" I dragged on my word peeping my head from behind. Only then he turned around. 

"Oh, you're done?" Asked he but his eyes were on the garden behind me. "That rose plant right there, ten thirty o'clock from the lamp pole, I can see dead leaves." 

That's the reason why he was the nagging mom in my diary of nicknames. 

"I'll attend to it right away!" I bowed politely before I ran to the lamp pole. My back pocket constantly vibrating for the incoming texts and calls from my beloved wife, Byul. 

Just like how it was supposed to go, or wasn't, but happened anyway because of that one short latter, I was late to the designated cafe where Byul and I had agreed to meet. 

The cool air from the air condition hit me as soon as I stepped inside. Putting off my cap I ran a hand through my sweaty short hair as I huffed taking a seat next to Byul. 

"Sorry I was late!" I could hardly speak. My lungs needed air after all that running, lots of it. 

"That's the guy you were talking about?" Finally I had noticed the bulky guy sitting before us, his expression disgusted yet surprised. "T-this puny guy!" His eyes were on the verge of falling out. 

"Yeah, he's my boyfriend." Byul nonchalantly linked her arm with mine. 

"Who are you calling puny, you donkey's ass?" I shot back. But that only made the guy stand up, aggressively putting his hand up in the air to hit me. 

"How dare-" 

But before that I pulled out my phone fast, showing him my screen that had 911 written on the dial pad. 

"Listen fat rat," I spoke confidently. "I have proof that you stalked her place at eleven am on the twentieth, I was there to film it. And guess what? I sent it to police and they should be there-" I checked my watch before I continued. "Right now, questioning your parents. You live at sangnam-dong with your family right?" 

The guy let his hand drop as fast as it was raised up in the air. His face was white like a chalk, it wasn't a millisecond later when he had left the cafe dashing in full speed. 

A few minutes went by with Byul and I just staring at the door, then we burst into fits of laughter. 

"Oh my God, Minjae! You were so cool I almost fell for you!" Byul slapped my shoulder hard as she kept on laughing. "God! That guy's been bothering me for a while!" 

"Anytime baby, anytime for you." I winked at her playfully before she slapped my shoulder again. 

"You're such a tease," she complained, but then she linked her arm with mine again. "What do you want to eat today? Treat's on me!" 

Well, Byul wasn't like me. Nor was she poor, nor a dropout. But somehow our friendship just happened. It's a long story but I used to deliver milk to her house.

"Don't you have classes today? I have another part time job in half an hour," I said, her face fell. 

"Aw come on." She shook her shoulders doing a pouty face, knowing quite well this was my big weakness. "Stay with me for a while please!" Whined Byul.

"Alright," I sighed. "I'll take a cheeseburger." 

"Cheeseburger it is!" She smiled enthusiastically, eyeing my outfit for a second before she spoke again. "Ah! As much as I love you in black tee and jeans, I really wish I could someday see you in the skirts and dress I had brought for you." 

My mind couldn't process the change of topic so soon, at least 'this' topic but I got back eventually. 

"You know that's not gonna happen Byul." 

She pouted at my dead response, then stood up and went to the counter to place an order. 

Really for the whole time again, I had forgotten I was a girl. 

Living my life as a boy.


	2. A place to stay

Contrary to what I'd thought, living life disguised as a boy wasn't less complicated either. 

I stood in front of the landlord's place after I was done with all my part time jobs for the day, the last one at the convenience store around the corner. My muscles were sore and my eyes were droopy, all I wanted was to feel the warmth of my bed against my body.

But even that seemed like too much of a luxurious thought as now I was standing in front of the landlord's place, slamming on his door to wake him up this late at night whilst the rain hit me harshly. The thin hoodie covering my head wasn't helping. All my belongings laid helplessly by my side on the ground. 

After what it felt like hours, the man in his forty's finally opened the door, his sleepy eyes annoyed, probably for waking him up this late at night. He put a hand under his shirt and scratched his belly roughly. "What?" He barked. 

"Why did you throw out all my stuff?" I could barely speak with my body trembling in cold. The man furrowed his eyebrows raking my face with his raccoon-like eyes. 

"Don't you know we don't allow bringing girls or prostitutes here?" He said with pure annoyance. 

I hugged my body with my arms, an already failed attempt to give me at least some kind of warmth since the rain never stopped. "I didn't bring a girl. Come on, mister! Don't joke with me it's already late at night!" 

The man looked at my trembling lips, white face and whole body shivering in cold but it didn't seem to do anything to him. 

"Doing it when I'm not here is one thing, but you can't deny the dresses and skirts I'd seen hanging from your balcony!" He fumed as he spoke, words harsher than the rain itself. 

"But those are-" 

My clothes, the ones Byul gave me. But I couldn't say it. 

He waited a tad second to hear me out but seeing me silent, searching for words, he slammed the door shut on my face. Leaving me soaked and cold in the rain. 

"Mister, open the door! I can explain I-" I banged on the door for the last time and then gave up. 

I shouldn't have washed the clothes when I was never going to wear them anyway. 

One foolish step, and it had me homeless at a rainy lone night with nowhere else to go. 

That's why I was thinking— no, I just always knew that boys don't live an easy life either. Because this wasn't a practice or a lifestyle, this is how I grew up, like a boy. 

I was an orphan with only an aunt to take care of me who wasn't well off. Her husband had left her when she had a daughter to feed just my age. 

I didn't have the luxury to like girly stuff, not even grow my hair because I'd have to spend on it to take care of that long hair. It was already shameful of me to ask my poor aunt for money and care who already had it hard. The day I turned eighteen I left, turning twenty now and all these jobs, they were not for me. 

They were for paying my aunt back. 

But living alone in such a big city when I'd lived my whole life in the outskirts of Seoul, it was good that people mistook me as a boy. Being a girl no one would give me the jobs that needed strength, nor would I'd been able to find a place to stay. 

I smiled all of a sudden remembering my high school days. Those were hard days, but the memories were bittersweet. 

With my boyish looks and aura, the girls loved me. 

But the boys, even the guy I had a crush on laughed at me, made me a joke in the whole school when I confessed to him. 

"Did you get thrown out of your place?" A sudden voice asked, making me snap back from my reverie. 

I looked back to find Kihyun, the nagging mom standing in his sleeping pajamas which were brown colored, almost contrast to the dark night as he looked down on me. 

That's when I realized I was sitting on the porch of the mansion, the place where I'd been working at afternoon every day for the last three months. 

The pitter patter rain fell, not harsh like before but drizzling. My wet hair stuck with my forehead, soaked hoodie felt too heavy to carry. 

Still, it felt better that I wasn't that cold anymore. The rain wasn't hitting me now that I was sitting on the porch. 

But when did I even get here? I noticed all my belongings were there too with me. 

"Are you okay?" I could only make out his frame in the low light, couldn't see his face clearly. But was his voice always this calming? 

I wanted to say I was sorry, that I didn't know how I got here, that I was going to leave soon after the rain had stopped but I couldn't.

Where would I go to? I didn't even have a place to spend the night. 

"Are you crying?" He said and it sounded more like a statement than a question. 

I wasn't, I wanted to say but again, couldn't. 

He took a step closer to me and I could see his face clearly, how his dark brown locks fell on his forehead messily, how his eyes felt like they contained an ocean. "You can stay here if you don't have any place to stay." 

His voice sounded like a melody against the monotonous sound of pouring rain. 

Silence. He took one of my bags that was lying on the ground. 

"Stay with us." Now it sounded more like a demand.


	3. New life, new world

The morning shined upon the gorgeous boys, only sounds of their spoons clattering, light talks and laughter could be heard. The table before them filled with food, my stomach growled and I came back to my senses. 

_What was a peasant like me doing in front of the seven Greek gods?_

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"Oh, shorty! You're here?" Someone snickered and I saw Im Changkyun smiling devilishly from the table. 

The clattering of their forks stopped, everyone's eyes were on me, the beggar looking boy standing by the doorframe. 

"Come eat with us," Changkyun flashed his white teeth, brighter than my future. 

I realized what I was doing, gawking at the rich boys when they were enjoying breakfast. But was it really my fault? I had a hard time waking up in a different place, a small yet cozy room which I could never afford even after selling my two kidneys. 

That's when I also realized I was in THE mansion. And I found my way here. My eyes darted back to my savior from last night, Yoo Kihyun, reading a book as he sat on the other end of the table. Totally not bothered by my unflattering presence. 

"Don't call him shorty," Minhyuk yelled, his brows furrowed. "He has a name," he added before turning to me. "Come eat with us MinJae!" 

I grabbed the hem of my shirt, suddenly embarrassed realizing I had been standing awestruck all this time when all their attention were on me. 

"Ah.. I..." I licked my lips before suddenly taking a ninety degrees bow, my eyes meeting my bare toes. "Thank you so much for letting me stay." 

"Uh no," Another voice grumbled. "These type of things make me uncomfortable so save it please." 

Looking up I saw the red headed boy, Jooheon shuddering to himself. 

"Sit with us. It's alright," A gentle voice spoke. It was Shownu, giving me a warm smile. Then I saw Wonho pointing me to an empty chair that was between Shownu and Minhyuk. 

I didn't know what else to say, how else to show my gratitude. Nonetheless, I took timid steps until I reached the huge wooden table and sat on the empty chair.

Didn't mean to do this, but my eyes almost fell out of my sockets when they checked the food on the table, American styled breakfast. Wonho slowly put down a plate before me. A sunny side egg, two pieces of toasts, pancakes by the side and bacons. 

I've only ever watched this on TV. Now wasn't the time to think anymore, I grabbed the fork and dug in. You only a get a chance like this in a million year. 

But a loud sound of laughter interrupted me. I looked up with my mouth filled with food. Slowly chewing, I searched for the offender and saw blonde boy Hyunwon, on the other side table having a good time by himself laughing like a maniac. 

"I'm sorry!" He shook his hands at me. "Now that I look closely you're just so short!" 

_He could speak? This was my first time hearing the tallest lad speak._

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"Why are you guys treating him like this!" Minhyuk complained agitated. "Kihyun is short too!" 

Next thing I saw was a flying book reaching Minhyuk to which the said boy saved himself by ducking his head. 

Looking ahead, I saw Kihyun from the far end giving the latter stingy eyes. Everyone went on with their breakfast scenario as if this was a part of their daily routine. 

"He's a fucking minion, how could you-" Kihyun almost screamed but then his eyes fell on me and he stopped right there. 

I swallowed the food that was in my mouth, not allowing me to speak all this time. "It's okay." I flashed a smile glancing at everyone. "I'm only five ft four, way smaller than Kihyun-sshi."

"I've never seen such a short guy." Hyungwon snorted putting a hand over his mouth. 

Rood. But still they were way better than I'd ever imagined. It had me feeling guilty thinking that I'd given them the name 'rich bitches'. 

But really, after reading all those fanfictions where the rich characters would be always portrayed as bitchy jerks, how could I not? 

"How old are you for real?" Wonho's voice snapped me back from my pointless thoughts and I saw him grinning hard at me. "Sometimes you look twenty but most of the time like a twelve years old." 

I cleared my throat, preparing myself to make an introduction. "What's up, I'm Choi Minjae, nineteen and I can barely do math. But I know I'll turn twenty soon." A sheepish grin made it's way on my face as I rubbed the back of my head with my hand. "And I also lost my place last night." 

"Aw." Wonho cooed looking at the other boys. "This boy is younger than the maknae." 

"Yay." Cheered Changkyun himself as he put down his forks. That cheeky smile prominent on his face. "Now I'll bully him." 

I almost coughed out the food I had just swallowed but Shownu gave an assuring pat on my shoulder before that. "Don't mind him, he's joking." 

"Where are your parents though?" My attention suddenly diverted to the red head, Jooheon. "In this situation you could've stayed with them?" 

"I don't have parents. They died when I was young." I bit on the toast, a stupid grin on my face as I realized I'd never had such quality of food. 

But the table was quiet, too quiet from before. When I looked up from my platter I saw rest of the boys either giving me looks of sympathy, or shooting judging glares at Jooheon. 

I blinked fast a few time taking in what's happening here. "I... It's okay really! I don't even remember my parents, all I have are some baby photos of me with them. I grew up with my aunt and moved away- shit!" I shoot up from my seat as the sudden realization hit me. 

"I missed my morning job of delivering newspapers!" I was ready to leave right then and there. 

But then Kihyun stood up as he glanced at me for a brief second before looking away. "You can work full time here, your pay will be tripled." It wasn't long until the boy left me and the rest in utter shock. 

"Yes! You can stay with us all the time now!" Minhyuk was the first one to cheer, I realized that the rest looked unbelievably happy too. 

"T-this is too much. How can I-" I stuttered but Shownu put a hand on my shoulder standing up, towering over me. 

"Just do your job, you'll be alright." There was a gentle smile on his face. Patting on my shoulder then he left. 

"I'll give you a house tour Minjae!" Minhyuk beamed, standing up and taking my hand in his. 

"At least let me do the dishes!" I protested but Jooheon laughed from his chair. "We have people for that." 

I frowned but Minhyuk didn't mind that. Excitedly he started dragging me away but for a short second I could turn to the rest of the boys and smile. "Thank you! I'll be the best errand boy!" 

Wonho gave me a thumbs up, Hyungwon and Jooheon laughed, Changkyun immersed in his food. 

That's what I saw before I was taken away by the overly hyped boy Minhyuk, and was introduced to the mansion. Their lavish rooms and the expensive decors. All the butlers, the drivers, the cooks and the manager. Even the bathrooms were so huge I could spend my life in one of them. 

But what caught most of my attention was the swimming pool at the back lawn, where I'd never been before. The sun rays of the lazy noon fell on the shimmering blue water, the sides as white as snow. The marbled tiles reflected light. 

"You like it, don't you?" Minhyuk caught me awing over the swimming pool. He looked at me then at the water, a provocative smile decorated his face. "Say, why don't we take a swim right now!" 

"Yes!" 

Almost, the scream almost rolled out of my tongue but I held it right there. 

I was a girl, I simply couldn't take a swim with him. For the record, did I ever lie to them about my gender? They always assumed I was a boy. 

"Minhyuk-sshi," I smiled at the lad, diverting his attention from the water. "Why isn't there any female workers or maids here?" 

He was quiet for a second but then he started smiling cheekily, eyes dancing and eyebrows wiggling. "You're only here and already looking for girls I see?" 

"Girls girls girls they love me," I sang and he let out a loud chuckle. "Just curious you know," I added. 

"Well, our parents are connected through their companies so we've been friends since childhood. Later we enrolled into the same private college so our parents invested together to make this place for us. But, perhaps they were a bit overprotective," Minhyuk grinned at me. 

"Thus, they said they won't allow us to bring girls not even workers. Because you know, boys and hormones. Stuff parents believe." He said. 

So I'll lose my job if I correct their mistake. 

"Hey, errand boy!" A sudden voice interrupted us. Looking up, I saw Kihyun standing by the window from the second floor. 

He gave me a scrutinizing look before he opened his mouth again, here comes an order, I thought. And I was right. 

"Go clean the library and rearrange the books." He shut the window off our face. 

"Such a party pooper," Minhyk clicked his tongue looking down at me. "We couldn't even swim!" 

"It's alright Minhyuk-sshi, maybe someday later." I felt glad somehow, not only because I was saved but also because I could finally work and show them I was worth the money. 

"Just call me hyung," Minhyuk chimed. 

"What?" 

"Call me hyung," he came closer and ruffled my hair. "You're younger than me." 

I looked at him for a second before flashing a bright smile. "Okay, hyung, see you later." 

Then I ran for the library, trying to remember his instructions when he showed me the whole place. "You're taking the wrong direction!" I heard him shout from behind so I took another turn before glancing behind and seeing him laughing by himself. 

After taking some turns, going into some wrong rooms I finally discovered the library. A huge place built right inside the mansion with shelves that reached the sky like roof. I felt like a lone ant inside the place. 

And the nagging mom told me to redecorate the whole place. Don't know about the others but he was definitely a rich bitch. 

Even if it'd take me the whole day, I prepared myself to do my best, with my nostrils flared I started to look around. Twelve shelves big in both height and width, there could be a thousand books, maybe more?

Chairs and tables inside needed to be cleaned, their was a human too. _Wait, human?_ I carefully looked and saw Shownu sitting on one of the chairs with a massive pile of books before him. 

"What are you doing here?" I couldn't but sound surprised. He looked at me before starting to go through the books.

"I heard Kihyun from the other room. You can't reorder all these alone," he said. 

_He was here to help me?_

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"No, I can! Trust me hyung people say I have strength like a gorilla so-" 

"Hyung?" He questioned looking right into my eyes. 

I bit my tongue. "Ah... Sorry, Minhyuk hyung told me to call him so I called you too mistakenly." 

He silently watched me for a second before a smile spread across his face, making his eyes disappear and creases form beside them. "It's okay, I like it." 

I couldn't but smile back at him too. Not the fake ones I'd put while doing my other part time jobs, or the sorrowful ones that'd help me go through the day. 

It was a genuine smile. "Thanks hyung," I said. 

_Maybe I'll actually like it here._


	4. Rich jerk

I stood in front of the mirror with a towel wrapped around my body, my wet hair sticking to my forehead. Then I raked my reflection up and down, then again. Was I really that short? Like a minion? 

I shook my head to the sides, pursed my lips and looked back to my dark brown eyes with pure determination. 

Two fingers up, making a gun in the air I pointed it to the mirror and made a sound smacking my lips together. A smirk played on the corner of my mouth. 

_Forget about that nagging mom, you're handsome as shit, I assured myself._

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There was a closet in the room they had given me. And I had decorated it with my limited amount of outfits already. The boys lived in the second floor, I lived in the floor below. 

After getting dressed I came out and started for the kitchen. My stomach rambled, I was hungry but only realized that now. 

Opening the kitchen door I was welcomed by darkness, my old friend.

There was a faint light coming from the windows, I walked as cautiously as I could so there wouldn't be any sound. The whole place was pin dropped silent, all the servants and the boys deep in slumber at this hour of the night. 

It indeed took me a whole day to clean the library, even that wouldn't have been possible without the help from Shownu. Making my head turn to all the directions I looked for the cabinet that contained instant noodles. Before that I put a pot after turning on one of the stoves. 

That was the moment, when I saw a person staring at me, eyes bright like a cat in the darkness. Only a few feet distance between me and that creature. 

My heart stopped for a second, a high pitched scream almost making it's way out but then the person coughed and I recognized the voice. He must've been startled as well. 

Rashly Kihyun opened the fridge he was standing by and put inside whatever that he was holding in his hands. "What the hell are you doing here?" He asked, bewildered, as he took a step closer to me. 

The light from the window made my guess true. It was indeed the brown haired boy, eyes catlike and sharp at the dark of the night. 

"Same could go to you." I sighed pouring water in the pot that I had placed on the stove. 

He cleared his throat looking away, embarrassed as if he was caught doing an illegal act. For some reasons I felt like those were cold chicken from the fridge that he was sneakily chewing down. 

"I'm here to make ramen for myself." Pouring the noodle down to let it simmer, I had my eyes on it for a second, but after looking up I was surprised to see him still there. 

_Could he be interested in some midnight ramen too?_

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"Don't you attend college? Or are you still in high school?" He asked instead. 

I bit my lips, wondering why was he suddenly showing interest in me. "I don't have money for college. You could say I'm a dropout of high school, though I did take the final exams. The scores weren't just great." 

I could see him nod to himself. Immersed in thoughts he looked, but only for a second. 

"Don't you want to attend college?" His question made my heart do a twist, truthfully I did. I really wanted to continue studying. 

"Nope." I popped the p showing him a bright smile, though it's debatable if he could actually see me smile in the dark. 

"Isn't there anything you're good at? Besides your part time jobs?" 

Again I wondered why he was so curious. Perhaps, it could be a rich lad's newfound hobby? 

"I miss art actually. At my high school I was the best student in art, even though I lacked in all the other subjects." A small smile made its way on my face so I looked down as an attempt to hide it.

"I was at the art club in our school too. Our art teacher was so impressed with my portraits that he wanted to send me to a national competition," I rambled on, "But my aunt wouldn't let—" 

He was gone, to my disappointment. When I finally looked up Kihyun wasn't there anymore. Which made me a fool talking to myself in the dark. 

Rood. 

But the loud knocking sounds on my door the next morning were more rood. 

How much I wished it would just stop, even after putting a pillow over my head didn't help filtering out that obnoxiously loud sound. I checked my phone, seven thirty- why the hell would anyone want me to wake up this early. 

Groaning I finally left the bed. Stumbling my way towards the door and swinging it open, what washed over me was even brighter than the light of the sun. 

Though it was only the dirty blonde boy Hyungwon, and platinum blonde Minhyuk. 

I glanced back and forth from the boys in utter shock, both grinning at me like a maniac. "You're going to college with us from today," Minhyuk came and snaked one of his arms around mine. Hyungwon did the same with my other. 

"Wait, what?" I was too late to react since by that time I already found my feet a few centimeters off the ground. They ran with me until we reached outside where a black van was parked, the ones I'd seen on TV's, the ones kidnappers would use. 

And they shoved a bewildered me inside the van. I found myself in the middle of the other boys. 

"We are already late," Hyungwon shouted. "Driver-sshi, you can start!" The car roared before it dashed ahead in full speed. 

"What's happening, I..." I looked around to their faces, my throat suddenly parched. Who would've expected a sudden abduction early at the morning? 

"Here's your papers," Jooheon leaned forward and handed me an envelope. "You'll need these today. There's still a lot of paperwork to go." 

"What the hell is happening cause I still don't get-" opening the envelope and unfolding one of those papers almost had my eyeballs poured out of my sockets. 

'Choi Minjae, student of fine arts at Starship private university.' A goofy passport sized photo of me was attached to it too and I wondered for a short second when they took that photo. 

"S-student of arts? S-starship university?" I looked at them helplessly for answers and I found Wonho smiling at me. 

"Yeah, you'll be a student there. Don't worry we'll take care of your tution fees," He said. Finally, someone with answers. But I felt my throat going even drier as if I was in the middle of a dessert. 

_Starship was a private college for the elites._

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"B-but wouldn't you need my certificates, school marksheets and such?" I spoke in disbelief, Wonho's smile grew even wider. 

"Don't worry, they can be arranged later. Kihyun's father is friends with one of the council members there," He assured me but I was anywhere near assurance. 

"But..., but my outfit?" I cried out loud. Attending college, which had been a dream so far would be disastrous with my burgundy colored hoodie and grey pajamas, the attire I wore to my sleep last night. 

"Don't worry, art students usually dress up as hobos. You'll fit perfectly."

The owner of the voice and the person who caused all this, Kihyun only stared out the window with earphones plugged into his ears. 

All I could do was throw my hands up in the air frustrated, that's when I also remembered that my one and only friend Byul studied at Starship university too. 

Byul, who was furious after I let her know over the phone that I'd started to stay at the mansion I'd mentioned to her before. She was angry at that one particular lad, Kihyun who always had handful of chores for me.

The car went forward in full speed as I sighed. 

_Was this a daydream or a nightmare?_

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***

I leaned my head back on the chair with my shoulders relaxed, took in a deep breath and realized it for the umpteenth time that the place I was currently situated in, the library of the elite university I just got into was more grand than my whole existence, probably. 

But then a sudden memory hit the neurons of my brain and my face shrunk up with the intensity, since the feeling was still fresh as the incident only happened a few hours ago. 

That was running into Byul, right here. And despite having such a healthy friendship with her me not knowing that she actually studied in this university in the department of traditional music. 

Flashbacks occurred in my mind. It was the boys and I, simply walking down the hallway this morning with me still bewildered and all the other girls fawning over them from every corner. 

Just when I was about to take it in how popular they were, that's when a sudden hand grabbed me, followed by ogling eyes and a familiar face, Byul. 

"You? Here?" Her mouth was formed like an 'o', the boys turned, my brain tried to work quickly. 

"You attend this university too?" Though my way too surprised mind could only make those words come out of my mouth. 

"Too?" She carried on my words. 

The next things happened in a blur, a very very short explanation and introduction of the boys whom I worked for followed, whom she recognized as soon I spoke of as she had heard about them several times from me. 

"Your friend?" Jooheon turned to me. 

"Girlfriend," Byul spat quickly, making the boys more shocked than I as I was still in the process of fathoming what she had just said. 

"I am Lee Sung Byul, nice to meet you." A smile formed on the corners of her lips though it failed to look welcoming. 

A surprised cheer left Minhyuk's mouth. "You have a girlfriend Minjae? Who would've known!" 

The smile on Byul's face only grew a few inches wider. "Yeah, I'm surprised oppa haven't told you about me when I've heard things about you." 

I gulped hard. 

"What things?" Changkyun asked, his tone ringing with sheer curiosity. 

"That you make him do a lot of work." Her tone was now stern, not smooth and silky like before. Her eyes sharp. "Especially one of you who's called Kihyun." 

"Control your girlfriend, or she might go berserk one day." A sudden voice woke me up in the middle of my flashbacks in the library and I straightened up, only to realize it was the sneaky son of a biscuit Kihyun sitting beside me. 

Abruptly I stood up only too feel a strong hold pulling me back down right the next second. 

"Next time I'm not letting your girlfriend go off the hook," his sharp eyes met mine and a few words slipped my mouth unconsciously. 

"She's not my girlfriend." 

His perfectly shaped brows were furrowed and with that my hand was quick to clasp on my mouth, though not fast enough to stop the words that were already heard. 

"So..." His expression changed into something I couldn't read. "You like her but you can't tell her?" He licked his lower lip and said it carefully. 

_Just how in the hell did he get to that conclusion?_

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"Y-yeah." I stuttered on my tongue. 

He gave a small nod and stayed quiet just staring at me, with a look of pity, perhaps. 

"Do you possibly like someone like that too?" I suddenly found a boost of courage somewhere within me. "A one sided love?" I emphasized. 

He pursed his lips and stayed quiet. Suddenly moving his face to look ahead so his eyes won't meet mine. 

I lifted my arm and carefully gave the sleeve of his shirt a little tug, bringing out every ounce of cuteness within me as I stared up at him puppy eyed. "Please, hyung?" 

"Call me sir," he retorted with agitation lacing his voice. His daring eyes looking down on me as he clicked his tongue. "Okay, fine. She's in your department and her name is Soyou." 

Quickly going through the faces and the names of people I had met today it wasn't long till I recalled the name Soyou, a young beautiful, perhaps, the most beautiful lady of our class. 

But my brows scrunched up right after. "Isn't she a senior?" 

Kihyun gave me a scrutinizing look before he spat his words out. "So what?" 

"So." A bright smile lifted up on my face, ear to ear. "You got a noona kink!" 

He looked as annoyed as a person could possibly look when he shoved my arm away from him, the one that was tugging on his shirt's sleeve. 

"Just keep that a secret, would you?" He grimaced. 

"Sure, sir!" I mocked. "And thank you for everything, really." This time I gave him a serious look as I looked right into his eyes. "Thank you for giving me a place to stay..., for getting me into here." 

He stayed quiet for a millisecond as he started talking again. "Maybe it's because I took pity on you. The poor and the helpless do need some help. And I gotta look good sometimes." 

There was a smug smirk on his face before he stood up and left the table, leaving a bewildered me. 

Maybe they were exactly what I'd thought of them before. Maybe they; especially he was the rich jerk I'd read about in those wattpad teen and romance fictions. 

"Here you are, I've been looking for you!" Said an exasperated voice and it was Byul standing in front of me, looking tired and wary. 

"Can we talk?" She asked and I complied. Next thing we were sitting with leaning our back against the wall of the building of arts. Students walking by and minding their business in a few meters distance from us.

Byul took in the silence surrounding us inhaling a deep breath. "So when are you gonna tell them?" She exhaled. 

"Tell them what?" Though I knew exactly where she was pointing to. 

"That you are a girl," said Byul. 

I looked on her hazel brown eyes for a brief moment. "But I don't think they'll take it in so easily... I'll lose my job and it's my only source of income right now. They even got me a place to stay."

"Then you could stay in my plac-" She stopped abruptly. "But my parents..." 

"Yeah, I know. And it's okay really, they are nice and kind people." 

"So you're a girl, huh?" A sudden voice stopped me in the middle of my sentence and made me look up from where it was coming. 

Changkyun, looking down on us with no expression written on his face as he leaned forward from the big window that was right above our heads.

"Gosh, I always knew." A sneaky smirk slowly showed up on his handsome face.


	5. Gay kissing

"Gosh, I always knew." 

My mind went blank with that comment of his. The world turned upside down and I just stared up at him quizzically, that's when I saw his mouth moving again. 

"It's not that hard to realize, I mean just look at your face." He snickered. "You said you’re nineteen but it's easy to fathom that you’ve never grown a beard. Your facial complexion too, it looks to smooth for a boy."

Well, _boy have you seen your own facial complexion?_

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"Do you shut up now or do I make you?" Byul growled from beside me and I saw her standing up. So I followed her too. 

Changkyun only threw his hands up in the air comically. "Thug kinda girl, I don't like you," his deep voice commented. 

Byul shrunk her face in disgust. "You keep this a secret or else—" 

"I ain't keeping this a secret." He cut her off as he put both his hands in his pants pockets. "Yet I ain't gonna be yelling it out too. You’re on your own so you know what to do with your secret." 

Before giving us a second to think and comment on his words, he spoke again. "Now I'll be off, as I'm quite busy unlike some idle people." 

We were shut off right on our face when he turned and walked away. 

Byul turned to me, gritting her teeth and scowling in anger. "Minjae, do I need to kill that man?" 

"Shouldn’t we do it together?" I said back. She crossed her hands over her chest dramatically. 

"We shall. But he's quite skillful, isn't he? It's almost impossible to tell you're a girl." 

"He is." I scratched my chin thinking. 

It was Byul too who first stopped me by and asked if I was a girl when I used to deliver newspaper at her home before. 

But I put off questioning her for some time else. 

It was the next day already and it wasn’t going how I think it would go, maybe it was really suppose to end up this way anyway as I was back at being an errand boy again. 

Since I didn't have any classes scheduled nor did the boys. 

Kihyun threw me off early at the morning with his usual 'errands' again and there I was, cleaning the swimming pool with a scowl on my face. 

It was funny to find so many pieces of paper floating on the blue surface of the water. As if someone just made the mess deliberately. And I could actually feel the lad wearing a light brown pullover and white shorts laughing behind my back from the second floor. 

Scoffing a little I bent further to make the stick on my hand reach the paper that was floating fur ahead. That's when something happened. I slipped on my feet, 

And I fell. Right in the water. 

Cold water splashed against my body, seeing nothing but blue for a second then I floated up. Sighed as a smile dared to spread across my face, it was kind of refreshing to suddenly feel the coldness after working a while under the scorching sun. My heated back seemed like it had cooled down already and my mind dared to call for a round of swimming session. 

Making up my mind, I kicked my feet to move forward but surprisingly, it didn't work. 

So I tried again but by that time my breath was almost out. It didn't work again. And I realized that I might had sprained my ankle, after working so hard it was inevitable. 

I threw my hands up, feeling myself drowning, kicking my feet and twisting my body every way but I still couldn't swim. 

I was seeing nothing but darkness now, my lungs feeling like it would explain right there. That's when a hand grabbed me. 

And it pulled me strongly until I reached the surface. At first I couldn't see anything breathing so hard but then I saw a worried face, which changed into a nonchalant one soon. It was Shownu. 

"Are you okay?" His voice sounded like he was still worried. 

I used my hands to cover my eyes tightly where it still felt like that the darkness was there, that I was still under water. But then I opened them and they wide seeing my body down to my chest. 

The vest I always wear to hide my 'not so big yet not so little chest' was showing as my white shirt had become transparent for the water. 

Hurriedly with that I brought my kneecaps close to my stomach, my cheeks flashing red. I was surely done now. 

But then I realized Shownu wasn't there, nowhere to be soon. Though soon he came back with a towel draped around his shoulder and he unfolded another only to wrap it around me. 

"You were a vest underneath in this hot summer?" He murmured with his expressionless face. "No wonder you got a heatstroke." 

_Thanks god he was stupid._

__

__

"Or do you have something to hide?" 

_Or maybe not._

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__

Right then he burst into a fit of laughter. His eyeballs invisible, and, lines forming around his eyes. A papa bear, almost that he looked like. 

"Why did you look so shocked? I was only joking!" Slowly his laughter vanished, but the smile was still there. "Can you stand up?" 

"Y..yeah." For some reason I was tongue tied. I felt extra nervous for no reason at all. 

But the moment I tried standing up I fell right on my butt. How to get less embarrassed cause I was surely doing things a joker wouldn't even do. 

I almost felt like crying at my stupidity as I waited for him to burst out into laughter again but that didn't happen. 

I only felt a hand snaking around my back and another close to my thighs, taking me up high from the tiled floor. Only then I realize I was in his arms, at least a good few inches up from the floor. 

"W-what are you doing?" My cheeks felt hot, steam blowing from ears. I felt like s feather in his strong hold but that wasn't important. 

What's important was that I felt like a thousand of knots were twisting in my stomach, urging me to throw up yet not. I wasn't sick, I definitely wasn't. But my heart was hammering against my ribcage rapidly. 

"You can't walk," he looked as serious when he looked me in the eyes. 

Perhaps it was his chiseled chest and manly scent that was making me sick and nauseated. 

"J-just put me down hyung!" I cried and he did so, gently. 

With that, I ran. Not even caring if my leg hurt or not, not even giving him a thank you for saving my life though I kind of knew inside he wouldn't mind. 

I just needed to get away from him, for some reasons, I didn't even understand myself. 

I ran and ran, until I reached upstairs to Kihyun and found him leaning towards the window. When he turned he had the most dangerous looking smirk on his face. 

"I just saw. Tell me one thing are you ga—" 

"Save it!" Oh how daring I was to show my hand to Kihyun motioning him to stop. Truthfully, my mind was elsewhere and I needed a distraction. 

"I've got something to strike your one sided love down. Let's execute the first part of the plan, now!" I yelled out enthusiastically. 

I didn't think Kihyun would go along my stupid idea, as I only needed a distraction thus the plan wasn’t secure itself. But he did. 

Only giving me an errand before we moved to the subject of 'striking down his one sided love' that is, waking up Hyungwon from his nap that he was taking early in the noon. 

My mind went through the scenarios of waking up that boy but not before the vivid memory of a naked Shownu visited my mind. 

With only a towel wrapped around his waist, wearing glasses as he was trying to find his tee shirt in Hyungwon's room. His chiseled abs slightly wet and showing, dark brown hair sticking to his forehead. 

It did slip my tongue, asking why he was in Hyungwon's room to that he answered that his bathroom's tap wasn't working. Everything quite normal but only I felt abnormal. 

And that was the most striking to me. That my stomach was in knots again, cheeks flashing red that I could feel. My heart pumping blood the fastest and loudest way possible. Even recalling that event had my face feeling feverish. 

But then waking up the prince looking boy with plump lips and a thin body happened the most dramatic way possible. 

To calling his name gently, then screaming, singing bang bang bang loudly close to his ears but he still wouldn't wake up. 

When he finally was awoken from his slumber, it ended with a hard flinch on my forehead where it was still stinging. He said it was a punishment for 'disturbing' him. Who knew Kihyun would pull a prank on me? 

Thinking of the devil, he stood before me with his brows knitted, a scowl on his small face. 

"What are we doing here?" He spread his hands to the sides, questioning why we were in a gift shop. 

"Because," I licked my lip having a hard time coming back from my reverie all so suddenly. "It's Soyou's birthday coming soon. I'm sure you know the date?" I answer-asked. 

"Yeah I know," he said with a 'duh' look on his face as he shrugged with his shoulders. 

"Tell me, have you even talked with her before?" I inquired, he looked embarrassed for a brief moment. 

"Yeah... A few times." 

"Then you gotta talk to her more from now on," stated I. 

"Just tell me why we are here?" The scowl on his face was back. "To buy her birthday gift? You know I could give her something expensive unlike these?" He motioned to the rack holders in the shop. 

"Yeah but I don't think she's that type of a girl to like expensive things," I said what I had in mind in which he snickered. 

"How do you know? Aren't you gay?" 

This time my brows were knitted. "What?" 

"Well, I've seen everything from the window earlier this noon. You know, the swimming pool event. You looked like you had the hots for him." Kihyun looked as devilish and playful when he said it. 

"Come on, everyone is a little gay inside." Rather than denying I only wanted to have fun with the lad who was such a stuck up. 

"Not me," he turned to one of the racks and traced his fingertips along some snowballs decorated on it. 

"Yeah, straight like a circle, aren't you?" I made a circle in the air with my hands. He turned to me, annoyed. 

"You don't have any manners, do you?" 

"Sorry, hyung." I bit on my tongue as I said dramatically.

"It's sir." He chewed in his words.

"Yes, hyung." 

"Fine." He rolled his eyes. 

I laughed and then I saw him picking up two similar looking snowballs from the shelves. Both with a wooden cottage inside it as snow fell over, with a beautiful piano music emitting when the snowballs were shaken. 

I saw him going up to the cashier and buying those two. Must've wanted to have a similar thing with his crush, how cheesy. 

Then he walked up to me, mouthed a 'let's go' and I followed him to the outside of the store. 

But then my eyes went to the store beside, filled with photo frames, the glass walls decorated marvelously. All I wanted was to run to there and take a look. 

"Hyung! Let's go and see those!" I shouted as I pulled on his shirt and I heard him clicking his tongue. 

"Do you even have any photos to decorate in a photo frame?" 

"I do have some... When I was young and had parents." 

Then I saw his eyes soften. "It's already late." His voice spoke gently. "I'll buy you one some other day if you do all your given chores without complaining."

"Okay," I said back as I lead the way to the car parked in front, with Kihyun following me from the back. But to my dismay I hadn't seen some pebbles on the road. My feet slipped on one of them and I fell. 

Not before I had grabbed Kihyun's hand and made him fall down with me too. The impact was harsh, with my eyes closed I could only feel a really heavy weight on me, what was that? 

But then I opened my eyes and I saw him. As much comical would it sound,

His body on top me with his eyes almost pouring out of his socket.

And his lips rested on mine.


	6. The aftershock

**YOO KIHYUN**

****

"Come back to earth, will you?" Wonho snapped his fingers before me and I jolted up, realizing that I was in the university cafeteria and I was indeed dozing off. 

"By the way, you look like shit," Jooheon commented. 

_You would too if you had kissed a boy even after being so obnoxiously straight._

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"I told you I hadn’t slept much for the last two days yet you said that for the thousandth time." I barked at the boy who only shrugged with his shoulders. 

"Your crush kept you awake?" Wonho popped a piece of cracker in his mouth and munched on it, still managing to have a playful look on his face. 

"Soyou noona!" Minhyuk whisper-screamed. 

"Just shut up, would you?" I sneered as I took a bite of my sandwich menacingly.

"You've been looking disheveled lately," Shownu spoke for the first time in a while. "Are you alright?" 

_No I ain't._

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_I accidentally kissed a boy after mocking him for being gay._

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_When I'm straight as a pole where his gay boyfriend could dance on._

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My face shrunk in discomfort and I lost my appetite. "I'm okay." 

Where was the culprit Minjae actually? 

"Hyung!" Just when I was wondering about his whereabouts, I heard his chirpy voice. Oh, how much I was hating it. 

Then I felt him grabbing my arm for a second and I roughly pulled out, which didn't effect the little boy at all. "Let me borrow you for a second, hyung!" He said smiling. 

Before I could say anything harsh I saw Hyungwon massaging his own temple. "Just go with him, would you? You've been avoiding the boy for God knows what reason." 

"Yeah, the worst he could've done was to steal your underwear, right?" Wonho opened his mouth and I had the urge to rip his tongue out or not. 

"Let's go!" Minjae lunged forward to grab on my arm again but before that I threw them up in the air and got up. 

"Okay." 

Though only a few seconds later when we were away from the said table I stopped and called out the hyperactive boy who was taking the lead. "Yah! Where are you taking me?" 

"Somewhere!" He turned behind for a second, his brows dancing. 

At that moment, I was really hating the short and dark haired lad and it was getting to my nerves. 

Just when I was about to let out a scream towards him he stopped. "Hey Soyou noona!" He beamed and called a girl in which she smiled and waved her hand to. I just forgot everything at that moment. 

By everything, I meant everything. 

Things happened fast. I saw him talking to Soyou then disappearing soon, not before he turned behind and winked at me, which I noticed even though I didn't want to. 

"Oh, hey Kihyun!" She smiled at me, that heavenly small smile that meant the world for me. My heart fluttered in my chest like a fish out of water. 

"Hey," I said with my breath almost hitching, acting like I had just noticed her. 

"Minjae?" She pointed to the way the boy went. "Your friend, right?" She asked with curiosity lacing her soft voice. 

_No._

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"Yeah." I shoved my hands inside my pants pockets and nodded. 

The way her dark brown, long and slightly curly hair waved in the air, the way she talked with her voice gentle, and her smile were doing things to my heart which obviously wasn't good. 

"He's such a nice boy! I hope things start going well with his girlfriend soon. By the way, haven't been seeing you in campus lately. Were you sick?" She spoke and I was drunk in her words. 

Still, I could fathom that Minjae lied about his girlfriend here too, that idiot. 

"Yeah, been sick a little. I'm fine now." I tried my hardest to not to show her that I was nervous. 

"Nice to know that." She nodded to herself smiling brightly. "See you around then, Kihyun." 

I just loved how my name rolled off her tongue. 

"See you," I said. She went away bidding me goodbye. 

_That was... That just took all my energy._ Perhaps, I could forgive Minjae for that or perhaps not. 

Later when I reached home in the evening I saw him first, along with all the other guys. Making a circle on the lawn as they sat with Minjae and Jooheon standing in the middle. As much unbelievable it may sound they were both wearing colourful afro wigs on their heads. 

And I just had the feeling that they lost a bet to the other boys. 

The boys were hollering for god knew what reasoon reason and I started approaching them from where I was standing, a few feet behind. Just then Minjae shoot a hand in the air and started dancing, with Jooheon following his lead. 

"Pick me pick me pick me up  
Pick me pick me pick me up!" Both of them dancing and singing as the other boys cheered. 

A laughter erupted from me unknowingly. Even when I was so angry at Minjae, and myself for what had happened the other day that fiasco had me forgetting them all. 

Right that second, I heard a loud voice and the boys stopped too. 

"No! Let me go! She must be here!" I heard a woman's angry shout followed by the security guard's voices saying that they wouldn't let her in. 

I was the first one to reach the gates where the incident was happening. And there I saw a middle aged woman with a bag filled with clothing. Her attire said she was from the outskirts. 

"Tell her to show her ungrateful face! I know she's in there!" She screamed, this time eyeing me in between her sentences. 

I felt someone standing next to me and realized it was Minjae when he wore off his wig and his hand fell to a side of his body. 

"That's my aunt." His voice sounded almost inaudible.


	7. A silent storm

**CHOI MINJAE**

****

****

Aunt gulped down the glass of water in front of her in one shot, then she stared at me with her eyes scrutinizing. The air in the living room was so thick it could be cut into pieces, even the boys stood holding their breaths. 

My insides were churning. Only God knew what she had up in her sleeves. 

"So, this is what you’ve been doing?" Lazy, yet loud words rolled off her tongue, still holding the glass in one hand. Her stare shooting invisible daggers at me. 

"Maybe we should give them some space, " Minhyuk murmured, immediately aunt looked at his way. 

"No! You should stay here and listen." The old woman's smile was as fake as it could get. 

_Had she perhaps, realized that I'd been hiding my gender?_

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"Tell me darling, have you told them the truth?" Hunt showed me the cruelest smile of hers. My insides churned again, she had definitely realized. All I could do was plead to her with my eyes in silence while a murmur raised among the boys. 

Aunt opened her mouth to speak once again, I closed my eyes. 

"That you’re a g—" 

Before she could finish, there was a loud scream, which made me shot open my eyes. It was Changkyun growling under his breath and he was kneeling down, holding onto one of his feets. 

"That mother ducking paperweight fell on me!" He grumbled, even aunt was a little shocked by his sudden movement. 

"Gosh look at you. Let's just go inside," Kihyun said with a little sigh. 

Aunt stood up too. "You stay with me," she told me, her eyes never stopped judging. 

So I stayed, with my heart in my hand as the other boys left the room one by one. Minhyuk giving me the last glance, asking with his eyes if I'd be okay. I only smiled, I won't be okay. 

Aunt had been hating me since I was a child. 

"You haven’t told them yet, have you?" Aunt hissed yet her voice sounded louder. I shrieked a little realizing how close she had gotten to me in the meantime. 

"Aunt..."

The words stopped on my tongue, there was nothing I could say to her to explain my situation.

Before my mouth could produce another sound, a harsh smack was planted across my cheek where it left a stinging pain. My ears blocking almost every other noise except a buzzing sound. 

"You give me money and I'll shut up." Her words were filled with venom. "Last month I didn’t get the paycheck." 

My world had stopped spinning, still a ringing sound buzzing in my ear. That was the reason she was here. 

"I'm sorry. I won't forget next month," I said without looking into her eyes, truthfully I couldn't. 

And when she left my mind was still empty. All I could do was stumble my way to the swimming pool and sit by a corner. 

I'm not a kid anymore, so she could torture me like before. 

Then why did I let that happen? Why couldn't I reject her? Why couldn’t I say something or at least look in her eyes? Her slap made me more ashamed than it hurt me. 

"Hey..." A voice said from the side and I could sense someone sitting down. 

"Hyung, did you do that deliberately? Why—" I turned to face Changkyun but my words had stopped right there realizing, it was Kihyun instead. "Oh, it's you," I mumbled. 

"Sorry to disappoint you." There was a small rolling of his eyes. "Are you okay?" 

"Why wouldn’t I?" 

"You look like a storm had run past you," Kihyun answered. He licked his lower lip as he silently stared at my left cheek with an unreadable expression on his face. "Does it hurt?" 

"Where?" I blinked looking at him. He looked away. 

"Your cheek. We all heard the sound." 

I turned away too. "Did you hear anything else?" 

"Nope," he said popping the last letter. "Changkyun said your aunt is not quite right in the head. Is that true?" 

_Why was Changkyun helping me when he said he wouldn’t._

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I only let out a small sigh. "Is hyung okay?" 

"Yeah." I saw Kihyun rocking his feet in the water. And I could sense him staring down on his feet as he played. "It was nothing serious." 

And the silence fell, it wasn’t awkward nor stiff. The air around us, comfortable. 

I was the one to break the silence first. "Tell me about your one sided love, hyung." 

There was a clicking sound of his tongue, a sound of annoyance. "You never stop, do you?" grumbled he. It was silent again but surprisingly he spoke. 

"I first met Soyou when I was thirteen. She was the daughter of my dad's business partner. Long story short, we met in a cruise dad took me for business purposes. She approached me first and she was fun to talk with." 

Seeing that Kihyun would speak no more I opened my mouth once again. "Then what?" 

"Then what?" Kihyun scowled. "Then we talked from time to time and I developed a crush on her." 

Even in the dark I could see his face going darker, which only meant that he was blushing. 

"It must be fate now that you two are studying in the same university." A giggle left my mouth unknowingly, who knew a boy in love would be this cute. 

"Fate my ass," he murmured under his breath. "Now would you get up or not? You'll catch a cold like this!" he scoffed. 

I couldn't help but jeer at him. "Hyung cares about me!" 

The next second, the look he gave me was enough for me to stop. He got up and I had to too under his stare. "Put a cold compressor on your cheek," he commanded and took the lead, I nodded and followed him. 

"And the thing your aunt was trying to say." Kihyun suddenly stopped and turned. 

My heart dropped in my stomach. 

"That you are gay right? I know your secret," he mockingly said 

I nodded halfheartedly as the colours started to get back to my face. _Oh, only if you knew._


	8. Exposed

"Hamster?" 

"We also call Kihyun tinnie sometimes," Minhyuk elaborated as he sat beside me. Happily slurping on the ramen in the cafeteria. A giggle erupted from my mouth as I tried to clamp a hand over my mouth. 

"That's hilarious but indeed it fits well." Minhyuk gave a huge grin to what I had just said. 

Wonho joined us too with a big smile plastered across his face, from ear to ear grinning, as he held a tray in his hand. "I didn't know they were serving ramen here today." 

"You and your love for ramen." Hyungwon sighed. 

"By the way, I'm just standing here." A female voice interrupted and we all turned to see where it was coming from. Byul was standing there holding my arm with her hands. 

"Oppa, won't you come and sit by me?" she imploded. My eyes grew a little wider with that. I looked at the boys and Minhyuk scoffed at the pouting girl. 

"Lady, can't you just go back to your seat? You can see that we are enjoying here, well?" Minhyuk gave her a questioning look with his eyes popping upward but his chin facing downward. 

"Was I talking to you?" Byul shot back. "So, why are you the one to talk back? " 

Minhyuk looked away muttering, "Crows poop." 

Byul scoffed in disbelief before she gave me an infuriated look and then she went away. "Well, you just made her mad," I said and Minhyuk only shrugged with his shoulders. 

Only then, joined Shownu followed by Kihyun. "Dad! I missed you!" screamed Jooheon as soon as he saw the well-built man taking a seat next to him. Shownu gave the boy a smile that would make his eyes vanish, creases would be formed around his eye muscles. The smile that made my stomach churn every time. 

"You practically saw him only an hour ago," Changkyun said casually. Jooheon clung to Shownu's arm. 

With all that, I hadn’t noticed the shorter lad sitting beside me, Kihyun, who made me notice him as he spoke to me. "Look what you did it to your face." 

There was a look of distaste on his handsome face. He picked up a napkin from the table and started dabbing on my face, near my mouth area quite harshly if I might say. 

"You made a mess," he said with a little sigh. 

"Look who found their new baby," Hyungwon chuckled, Kihyun scoffed at him. 

"Hyung, would you get up?" I smiled innocently at Kihyun when he was done. Giving me a suspicious look he asked, "Why?" Though he still got up. 

"Turn around." I grinned again. 

Furrowing his eyebrows he did so, instantly I pushed him on the back so hard that made him take a few steps forward. "Go and talk to Soyou noona. She's just standing there." I whispered to him with a wink, even though it was louder enough for the other boys to hear. 

The cheered and shouted with my remark. With a roll of his eyes Kihyun went forward. I could still see him smiling by himself for a second. _That boy._

__

__

"So, why don't we celebrate nothing with a barbeque party today!" Changkyun announced sarcastically. 

"I'm up," Jooheon said smugly. 

"Sorry guys, you enjoy. I'll be busy." I bit on my lip as I lied, they won't be able to tell would they? "I need to go out with Byul to make her anger come down." 

"So you were thinking about her all this time?" Wonho puckered his lips. "Oh, young love!" 

I only gave him a smile. _Lie, it was a lie._

__

__

Because in an hour I was at the 'flower boys cafe' to work my shift for the evening. Even when I didn’t need to have a job now that I worked under the boys but I had to, for some reasons. 

"Oh, it's you two!" I fake smiled, half brightly like a dimmed light at the two girls in high school uniform who would always visit the shop around this time. "My guess is americano for the pretty lady in the right and vanilla latte for the beautiful girl in the left?" 

They both squealed hard at my remark, slapping each other's shoulders as a way to show their 'fangirling (?)'. "Oppa could we take a selfie with you?" One of them asked hesitantly. 

"Of course!" I wiped my hands on my dark apron. The fake yet tired smile never leaving my face. 

"Are you okay?" Sehun came in my viewpoint right after the girls were gone. A sceptic look on his face though I knew he was worried, _maybe._ "You look tired. Go take a rest at the back." 

"I'm okay!" I tried my best to give a dazzling smile this time, wiping my hands on my apron for the second time as I went against his command. 

"Don't blame the authority if you get sick working too hard." The cold-hearted manager, as other workers would say, left with that. 

"I will have a caramel macchiato, and he will— What will you have hyung?" I heard a voice and turned with that smile of mine, but the dimmed light on my face went off as soon as I saw two familiar faces. 

"Minjae?" Jooheon's mouth fell wide. "What are you doing here?" 

The evil maknae and the red headed aegyo monster, Changkyun and Jooheon stood before me in the coffeeshop. 

"What are you doing here?" Jooheon was the first one to talk after a moment of dead silence. 

"You lied to us," Changkyun said through his pursed lips. His face had gone to a shocked one, to an angry one then to a reluctant one. 

Feeling manager Sehun staring at us even from the back of my head I pleaded, "Hyung, could we please go outside?" 

They weren’t much amused, still, they followed as I gestured Sehun to give me a minute. 

The dark of the night embraced us as we stepped outside, a cold breeze rushing past. "Aunt is asking money from me, and I need to pay her like always," I said as fast as I could as if that could get rid of all my pain.

"Like always?" Jooheon was the first one to speak again. Changkyun, silent. 

"... Yeah." There wasn’t much to explain, the words were stuck on my throat and I didn't even know what to say. 

_Probably that I wanted to get away from all this._

__

__

"We've been helping you from the very start and all you’ve been doing is lying," Changkyun spoke finally. "All you do is lie!" he raised his voice this time.

Jooheon was flustered seeing him get angry all of a sudden but I knew what he was implying, I knew very well. 

"Hyung you don't know-" Changkyun looked frustrated as he glanced between Jooheon and me. I swore my heart had stopped beating. 

"Nevermind. I'm leaving, I got a headache," he said before he rushed to his feet. Leaving me and Jooheon there. 

"What got into him?" The latter asked, bemused. "By the way, Minjae that wasn’t a very good explanation. Why are you working behind our backs, you could've told us if you needed money." 

"Hyung, please, could you keep this a secret from the others?" I begged, the sound of my heart breaking was probably, audible. 

Jooheon pushed his hands in his pants pocket. A minute after judging me with his eyes, he opened his mouth. "Okay." 

***

Changkyun had been ignoring me since that day. 

I put my head over my knees, resting against a wall as a deep, frustrated sigh leave my mouth. 

Changkyun avoiding me was awkward, it was making everyone wonder what had happened too. 

Guess everyone would start feeling this way if they knew my bigger lie. All of them would act like that. It's surprising that Changkyun hadn't told anyone yet. I thought he would, considering how angry he was with me. 

"Did you help the stuff cleaning the kitchen?" 

I immediately knew who it was without even looking up. "Yes, I did." 

"If you're done with your chores then you can go play video games with others. Why are you here?" I heard the sound of grass rustling, Kihyun took a sit beside me. 

_It's because Changkyun would leave if I joined them._

__

__

"Did anything happen?" He asked again. I wondered why he's the one always there, whenever, I felt sad and wanted to be alone. 

_I really wanted to sit alone here._

__

__

"You don't look like your usual self these days." 

I pulled my head back up from my knees and looked at him. He stared at my face then started laughing pointing his finger at me. 

"Your eyes are all red. Don't tell me you were crying!" 

"I was not!" I declared putting my head down again. 

"A grown up boy crying like this." He kept on laughing by himself. Small giggles erupting from his mouth, agitating me and interrupting the peaceful place I wanted to be in. 

"Wonho hyung cries too. He cried watching a sad movie with us," I said in a muffled voice. _Everyone cries. Crying is good sometimes. However, I never cry._

"He's a crybaby, so he can be out of the category." 

I stayed silent hoping that he would go away. But he didn't. "Hey," he suddenly called out, his voice soft. 

"What?" 

"Look at me." 

I looked up and he was sitting quite close to me this time. He brought his hands closer to his face. "Ildeohagi ileun gwiyomi," he sang then showed me one finger of both of his hands. 

"Eeldeohagi eeneun gwiyomi" He showed two fingers bobbing his head by the sides.

Kihyun then sang the whole song, finishing off with kissing his fingertips and showing me his six fingers. At the ending he made a huge smile on his face like he just accomplished a grand thing. 

I watched his whole act with a blank face on. "You know you can't do aegyo right, hyung?" 

He gave me a disappointed look then a scowl appeatrd on his face. "Shut up!" 

"You should learn from Jooheon hyung." 

"Don't tell me you've started liking Jooheon instead of Shownu now." Payfully he said, making me frown.

"I don't like Shownu hyung that way!" 

"Why are you lying to yourself?" He poked on my shoulder. "Hmm? Hmm?" 

"Shut up, hyung." I got back at him. "Did you just sing the gwiyomi song for me because you thought I was sad?" 

"No, I didn't." 

His cheeks turned red as he looked away clicking his tongue. "I just wanted to sing that song suddenly, that's why." 

That's when I let out the laughter, releasing it since I'd been controlling myself till now. He actually looked really cute singing like that. I wanted to squeeze his cheeks.

Even though I was laughing, my heart burned in the inside. Not only because of the disappointment coming from Changkyun but also because I was done, tired of working so much and still being unable satisfy anyone, me included. I was tired of keeping on the facade that I was okay. 

When I left at the evening that day to work my shift at the cafe I really hoped I wouldn’t faint. 

But I did. 

My body could no longer take it and collapsed. Though only then did I realize, when I found myself at the back of the kitchen with my other co workers Hongbin and Suzy peering over me. My head feeling heavy, nauseated I still tried sitting up. 

"You okay, man? We were scared." Hongbin's eyes were almost on the way of pouring out of his sockets. "You suddenly fell like bam!" He was louder making the impact of the sound. 

"We were really concerned," Suzy said in her warm and milky voice, giving me my phone back. "So we called someone from your contact list." 

"Byul?" I could hardly make my word audible. 

"No, it was—" 

"Are you alright?" A deep and husky voice, it couldn’t be...

"Changkyun? You're him, right?" I saw Suzy standing up, so I looked over too despite my head almost feeling like it would fall off any second. 

"Are you okay?" That's the first time he had spoken to me since the last few days. 

And then he came and grabbed my arm. "Stand up, we are going somewhere." 

Was he still angry at me? Was he hating me? I looked at Suzy and hongbin as I stood up, helplessly, but they were already bidding me bye. 

After going outside, he lightly pushed me towards his car parked ahead. "Come on," he said. 

"Your aunt, we are going to take care of that bitch," he added.


	9. A bitter truth

"This is where they're living?" Changkyun scanned the motel with sharp eyes. It seemed pretty decent and made me question how in the world they could afford it. Oh well, I think I paid their expense.

"Follow me." He took the lead after asking me what room they were in. It felt like a quest, and I was still in a daze, not sure of what was happening here.

After knocking on the door several times, aunt opened with Kyungmi peering her head from the back. Kyungmi, my cousin, was only two years older than me. Despite that, we never even talked much.

"What brings you here?" Aunt's expression hardened seeing me but she moved aside from the door anyway. Only then her eyes fell on Changkyun. "Hello, ahjumma," he greeted politely with a smile.

"H-hello." Aunt seemed a little flabbergasted but greeted him back.

"Let's get to the point." Changkyun took a sharp inhale before he spoke again. "I'll appreciate it if you don't ask Minjae for money."

Kyungmi and aunt glanced at each other secretively, but that didn’t fail to notice our gaze. "Who is he?" Kyungmi's voice dripped off annoyance. 

"Minjae works for him," Aunt whispered close to her ear but we were all able to listen.

Changkyun looked at me then stared back at them again. "You're pressuring her into give you money, aren’t you? Moreover, you've hit her multiple times."

Aunt gasped loudly, all of a sudden, her eyes almost falling out of her sockets. She held her mouth and looked at us. "How could you say that? I raised her like my own child!"

"Can't you see mom?" Kyungmi echoed. "She brainwashed those people to get pity from them."

Changkyun didn't say anything and straight up grabbed my arm. He then lifted up my shirt's sleeve, revealing an old scar on my upper arm. "If my guess is right, you did this."

I looked up at him, surprised. His teeth were gritted, eyes sharp and nostrils flared. How did he know that? 

"That's her birthmark," Kyungmi yelled throwing her hands in the air. 

"That's definitely not a birthmark. Minjae, tell me. Did your aunt do this to you?" He asked in a determined voice, staring right into my eyes.

My lips were trembling. I looked at aunt who was watching me with a venom filled stare. Words wouldn't leave my mouth.

But I nodded hesitantly indicating that she did hit me. It happened when I was ten years old. Aunt was so angry because I got into a fight with Kyungmi, she took a hot iron stick she used for cooking and pressed it against my skin. Even the memory was making me flinch. 

"Really Minjae! I did that you?" Aunt said in a mocking tone then looked up at Changkyun. "You don't have any proof that I hit her." 

"Do you think I won't be able to find any evidence?" His cheeky smile was back on his face. "Even if I don't, we have money and power; we can frame you easily."

The red head, Kyunmi took steps closer to us. Looking like she was about to burst out in anger. "What kind of person does that!"

"Worst kind of person." Changkyun shrugged. "But at least I'm better than you."

He then took me by arm to leave. "Wait! Do you even know Minjae is actually a girl?" Aunt screamed from behind. "She's been lying to you from the start!"

Changkyun turned around. "I know. And now if you bother her again it will get nasty. I doubled the security of our place so don't even think."

"That was scary!" Changkyun clutched his heart taking in a deep breath. We were outside the motel, walking down the street to where his car was. "Do you think she will come to kill me when I'm sleeping?"

I furrowed my eyebrows in disbelief. Just a few minutes ago he was acting all high and mighty and now he was scared for his life. "Hyung, didn't you say you doubled the security?"

"Do you think it's that easy?" He narrowed his eyes on me. "I would have to speak with the others about that, since we share the place." 

I couldn't help but let out a silent chuckle. "Why are you helping me?"

"Because I pity you. You're poor, orphan and helpless after all."

This time I couldn't but laugh out loudly. The way he said it made me remember someone, Kihyun, when he told me that he got me into college so people would think he's kind. 

Changkyun fished his phone out of his pocket and checked for something. "Everyone's going out to have dinner tonight." He put the phone's screen closer to his eyes. "To have thai food?" 

"Oh, I will go home by myself then." I took the lead this time taking long stops ahead but then stopped and turned around. "Thank you for everything, hyung."

Was thanking him even enough? I turned again quickly so he wouldn’t see my emotion stricken face. 

Out of nowhere, he trotted up to me and head-locked me with his arms. "What? You are coming with me too."

I couldn't breathe properly for the tight hold so I started waving my arms around, like a damn penguin. He let go laughing out loudly. I tried my best to insist on going there but soon I had to give up to his arrogance.

"Don't tell me you're going to let Shownu hyung pay for the food again," I said getting in the car with him.

"Why?" He took the wheel. "Hyung is the oldest. He's rich and gets the most pocket money among us. He should!"

"I don't like it at all." I pouted while crossing my arms over my chest. "You guys are rich too! Pay for your own damn food!"

He gave me a playful look still driving ahead. "Why? Do you like him? I mean you are a girl no matter..."

I slapped his shoulder before he could finish what he was saying. "Why are you and Kihyun always saying the same thing!" I grabbed my hair in frustration. "He's always teasing me, saying that I like Shownu hyung!"

"I was only joking." It became silent after that until he spoke again. "But I think you like Shownu the most among us. You're always either watching him from afar or hanging around him," mumbled Changkyun as he drove ahead.

"He's awkward, kind of like a dad. He cares for everyone so much." I heaved a small sigh looking outside the car. Watching Seoul becoming colorful at night. People walking home from jobs, students hanging out after spending hours in cram school. Food places getting busy with customers.

Then I turned to him remembering something. "You know Shownu hyung is so cute!" I laughed by myself before continuing what I was saying.

"I worked so much this week and went home late at nights. I didn't even have the strength to go to my room so I just slept on the living room's couch. Then you know what I saw every morning? Shownu hyung sleeping on the other couch and there was always a blanket on top of me. How did it get there if he wasn't the one who brought it!"

Changkyun laughed along with me. "Yeah, he wakes up real early but then he goes back to sleep again."

I nodded while turning the radio on. My favorite song of boyfriend started playing. I rocked my head back and forth trying to sing the lyrics with it.

I was deep into the music until Changkyun said something.

"You don't know shownu hyung has a girlfriend do you?"

I faced him wide eyed. "He does?"

"Yeah. They've been dating for four years now. That's why the hype is down already, we don't tease him anymore."

"Oh." I smiled. "She must be really kind and pretty."

"She is. She is a model and she's out of the country most of the time."

"I can't wait to meet her!" I said eagerly, then turned on the song's volume a little louder.

Changkyun gave me a look but I couldn't fathom what his eyes were saying.

The next thing I knew was I'd blacked out again. It happened during the dinner, all I remembered was taking one shot after another of soju. 

I needed to calm down, but for what? Why? 

When I came to, I found myself over Shownu's back, as he lumbered on the lawn of the house. Other boys had left. I found nothing wrong with this scenario, me on top of his back felt the most real to me. 

Today was the day I had collapsed twice, for different reasons. 

Today was also the day my heart hurt like it had never been before. 

I wrapped my arms around Shownu's back, burying my head on the crook of his neck, taking in his warmth and his smell. So this is the most far I'd ever get with him, huh? 

"Are you awake Minjae?" Feeling me stir, he asked, after that followed a soft chuckle. "You were really drunk today." 

I didn’t feel like saying anything, at the same time I wanted to tell him a thousand things. My heartbeat was slow, rhythmic with my breathing. My vision blurry, didn’t know if it was because I was drunk or because I wanted to cry, for real. 

"I like you Shownu hyung," I whispered lowly, but enough for him to hear. 

There was a moment if silence. The distance was getting shorter and I wished the road would never end. 

"I like you a lot too Minjae!" he said with a chuckle. 

Yeah. As a brother. 

Everyone knew he had a girlfriend, only I was the fool here. 

Kihyun, too. He knew, but, why did he lead me that way then? Why did he make me sure of my feelings? 

_I hate that guy. I hate Kihyun._


	10. Mistery

**YOO KIHYUN**

****

****

I stretched out my arms, my whole body feeling sore for the long hours I'd slept through. I took slow steps across the living room, and found Minjae there too. 

"You woke up this early?" The words almost slipped out of my tongue but I decided to be quite. He had noticed that I was there but he kept on wiping the breakfast table. It was weird seeing him working so early in the morning.

Weirder because he acted like I was invisible. For the past few days, I'd been sensing that he was trying to ignore me. 

_Not that I cared._ I laid myself down on the couch and started playing with my phone, seeing if I got any new texts or and new notifications from the other apps. This was the first thing I always did after waking up.

"Why did you start working so early?" A yawn left my mouth as I spoke. I needed to confirm that he'd been avoiding me.

"Just because," he said in a wry tone then left with the rag in his hand.

Now it was confirmed. I shrugged then raised up from the couch lazily. I needed to take a shower and get ready for my classes. It was a mystery why Minjae was avoiding me but I was not eager to solve that. I had other stuff to do. 

A smile spread across my face unknowingly, remembering that Soyou had invited me to her birthday party. She sounded so shy talking about her own birthday, and that she didn't want to have a party, but her dad insisted.

Moreover, I took the courage to offer my help with the party.

To think that Minjae was the first person I wanted to tell this but then I'd realized he wanted to avoid me. 

_I wondered if I did anything wrong._

I shook it off as I'd thought before, I had more important things to do. One of them being Soyou's birthday. 

***

"Which type of cake should I order?" Soyou beamed excitedly, her hazel brown eyes glittering with happiness. 

I looked down, tracing my finger over the coffee cup as we sat in the cafe near our University. Smiling I answered, "Which type of cake do you like?"

"Um..." Soyou rolled her lips inside her mouth, thinking hard. "I like all kinds of cake. I love sweets." 

I couldn't help but chuckle a little. "Then do you want something with all the flavours?" 

"Is that possible?" Her mouth parted in awe. I laughed again and she slapped me lightly on the shoulder. "You're not making fun of me, are you?" 

"Nope, definitely not." I tried to be serious but there I went again, laughing. She shook her head dismissively, her long curly hair glimmering in the sunlight that came through the glass walls. 

It was surprising, how I was suddenly talking so freely with Soyou, even though my heart still beat faster whenever I saw her. Her smile made me wonder how beautiful a person could ever be. She was so friendly that a moment of courage was all it took. 

I wish I'd found this courage sooner. But it happened for Minjae, I would give him that. 

I couldn't help but wonder again. Did I do something wrong? 

"Hey! Your friends are here." Soyou chirped happily. Her eyes somewhere behind me. "Minjae is here too!" 

I looked back and found a table a few feet away from us. Changkyun, Jooheon, Minhyuk and, of course, Minjae, even in here making a ruckus. All of them laughing boisterously.

"What are they doing!" Soyou laughed, a smile coming back to my face too watching them. It seemed like Minjae didn't want to eat some pastry and they were all forcing him. Jooheon even took some pastry in his hands and shoved it towards Minjae. 

Next second, Minjae's face was a mess with whipped cream all over. They looked at each other then all of them started laughing again. Changkyun pulled out his phone and started clicking Minjae's photos. Even the shop owner was chuckling watching them. 

If I was there I would've gotten second hand embarrassment real fast. But I wouldn't deny, it looked fun. 

"I totally forgot this, but I should invite your friends to my birthday party too! Minjae would love it." Soyou's voice made me snap my head back to her side. 

I cleared my throat grasping what she had just said. "But... they said they were going to camping that day. Including Minjae." 

"Oh." She made her mouth o shaped. "Then aren't you going too?" 

"No. I'll be here to attend some work." 

"Then you can attend!" She cheered happily.

Why did I just lie about the camping thing for no reason at all? 

Soyou suddenly started waving her hands to the back. "Minjae!" She called out the boy making him finally notice us.

I calmly kept on drinking my coffee. When the sound of footsteps grew closer I turned my head to the side. 

Minhyuk was in front of them. Minjae being short he couldn't see me. When he peered his head from Minhyuk's back, his face lost its colour, his smile faded, still, he brought it back as he greeted Soyou. 

"Soyou noona!" 

"Minjae!" She got up and lightly hugged him. I could already feel those cheeky eyes from behind. Changkyun put a hand on my shoulder and rubbed it with a mysterious smile on his face. 

As if he was whispering. "Nice way to go hyung." 

I shivered and jerked away. "Why don't you all eat with us?" Soyou proposed. 

Oh no.

"But I have a lot of assignments to do," Minjae said in a sad tone earning disappointed groans from the others. 

A part of me was praying that they'd go away. Another part was wondering why Minjae was lying about his assignments to avoid me. 

"I have already wasted so much time for them." Minjae gave the others a wary glare. "But I promise that I'll come here with you another day!" 

All this time he never shared a glance with me, nor did he look this way. What was his deal? 

***

Putting my hands in my pockets I was taking a walk in the garden before going to sleep. My mind wandering off to everywhere, but mainly occupied with Soyou. Her birthday was nearing. As I was thinking of ways to surprise her on her birthday, I kicked a pebble that was lying on the ground. 

All of a sudden I remembered that incident. Minjae and I...; he fell on a pebble and we... _What kind of person trips on a pebble!_

I recoiled at the memory but somehow it made my laugh. Like a crazy person, I was laughing by myself. As I kept on walking, soon I was near the swimming pool. 

Then I noticed something in the water. No, it was someone. 

Minjae. I rushed to the spot. Right near the side his body was floating in the blue glittering water. 

I started pulling him up. What was he trying to do? _Suicide!_

I pulled his whole body up and realized that he hadn't fainted, he was flapping his arms around. "Are you stupid! Do you have a death wish?" I screamed making him stand up, his legs almost giving up the instant. 

"Let me go!" He tried pushing me away but I grabbed both of his hands with mine tightly. Still worried. "I was only swimming!" He yelled. 

Minjae tried pushing me away again and that's when we fell. 

Both of us. In the water. 

For a second, I couldn't see anything as water splashed harshly against my eyes. The cold water hitting my whole body. Shooting my legs to wade through, I opened my eyes when I was on the surface. 

Minjae stood in the water, right in front of me with his soaked hair covering his eyes. He pushed them away coughing some water out. "Look what you've done!" 

I looked at him surprised, and then it got replaced with anger. "Me?" I looked at myself, my whole body was drenched and I was standing mid-water. "You pushed me off! What the fuck is wrong with you!" 

He was calm now. He gave me a look, then both his hands covered his face. 

In front of me, he broke down in tears.


	11. Gay men

Choi Minjae

Water splashed hard against my eyes, I could not see anything for a second there. When I felt that my upper half was on the surface I immediately clasped my whole face with both my hands. Rubbing my eyes, I opened them again. 

My vision was still blurry but I could see a vague image of Kihyun standing in front me. 

Looking closer, he had his eyebrows scrunched up, his face was giving this look like he was in complete lose of words. He parted his mouth and said something which I couldn't hear.

"What?" I yelled. A sudden anger started boiling beneath my skin, seeing the person's face I clearly didn't want to see, not right now.

"W-why are you crying?" 

"I wasn't!" I yelled throwing my hands up in the air. "Water went inside my eyes!" 

"But you... You were trembling and crying!" 

"I was shivering cause I was in the cold water for so long!" Saying that, I gave him an annoyed glare and then I started to swim my way to reach the sides. 

When I tried pulling myself up from the water my hand slipped a bit and I was going to fall again but, another hand caught me from the back. 

"Careful." His voice hit my ear, disturbingly close from behind. "The sides are slippery." 

"Don't touch me!" I slapped his hand away then pulled myself up. He got up from the water too.

I then sat on the side with my whole body drenched, not bothering to see what he was doing. 

"What now? Let's go inside!" He must had thought I was stupid so he groaned frustrated. But I just wanted to stay alone, and a hundred miles away from this guy. 

My silence made him more frustrated. "What the hell is wrong with you?" 

"Don't talk to me!" I glared at him. He was standing in front of me, scowling. 

"For the past freaking days." Je took in a deep breath before continuing. "All I've been seeing is you being weird, and now you're throwing a tantrum, like, HOW can I know what I've done wrong if you don't tell me! How would I know what I did to get on your freaking nerves!" 

His loud words made me flinch and draw back a little, but my mouth was still sewn shut. I looked away but could feel him taking a seat on the sides close to me. 

"I'm all ears so care to spill your beans?" 

I turned my face further away so he would not see how water was starting to form in my eyes. I bit my trembling lip breathing in and out. This was so frustrating, how this guy would always find me when I was the most vulnerable. 

I was sad, I'd been sad. For the past few days. I could just not get over it, even though I didn't show any emotion, even though I tried so hard to suppress it. When I couldn't take the devastation growing inside me anymore, I threw myself in the swimming pool, only to calm down my head. 

When Kihyun pulled me up, the welling sadness turned into anger. Now it was turning into sadness again. 

So embarrassing, to be crying in front of him. 

"Tell me." I heard his voice, demanding. 

"You, you told me that I liked Shownu hyung. Why did you never," I couldn't keep my voice calm anymore, sounds of crying, breaking down from the inside came out. "Tell me that he has a girlfriend?" 

I constantly wiped my cheeks but they just kept getting wet with fresh tears. My body was shaking, all my hard work trying not to cry for the past few days had just gone to vein. 

When I thought he went away since it was too silent I turned my face to the other side. But I found his face dangerously close to mine. He sat right in front me scanning my face with wide eyes. 

"You are crying?" 

All I could give was a look of disgust before turning away and pushing my body farther away from his. "Yes I'm crying. For fuck's sake! Happy now?" My voice cracked as I shrieked loudly. 

"Minjae," he called my name in a calm manner before bursting up. "You just did not swear in front of me! I'm going to give you more chores and your pay is gonna get cut for two days!" 

"Do whatever you want fuckterd!" I screamed back at him, bringing my knees closer and hugging them since it was getting colder each second. 

He got up, sounds of his footsteps dwindling as he walked away. I breathed out and looked at the glowing water of the swimming pool. Dipping my feet in it, I tried clearing my thoughts. Finally, I was alone. 

Few droplets of warm water fell in my lap, indicating that I was crying again. I laughed in the midst of crying, reminding myself something. 

That it hurt.

It didn't even hurt this much when I got turned down by my high school crush and he turned out to be a shitty person. Cause soon he made me a laughing stock in my school.

Yeah, he never considered me as a girl when he knew I was one and then I confessed to him trying to wear girly cloths and makeups, making a complete fool out of myself. That was the reason why people laughed at me. 

And the reason why I never wore the cloths Byul gave me.

Back then, I laughed at myself with everyone, laughed at my own stupidity, and that's why it didn't get big. Everyone took it as a good joke. 

And this time, it wasn't anything major, I'd developed a crush on someone who didn't even know I was a girl. No one properly knew my feelings for him so it should've ended smoothly when I came to know he had a girlfriend. 

Then why was it hurting so much? So much that for the first time in my life, I felt like I was in despair. 

I clutched my heart, it was hurting. I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. Just then I felt something warm in my back. Someone had just wrapped a blanket around me. 

Kihyun reappeared. Coming from my back then taking a turn he sat on the same place with another blanket wrapped around his own body. 

I pulled the warm blanket closer to me, staring at the water. I could feel him doing the same thing. We were both silent, just the sound of night flowing around us. 

"So you're gay?"

He spoke first. I turned to him and opened my mouth to sprout some more curse words but then he spoke again. 

"I'm sorry. I should've understood." He stared ahead while talking, not looking my way. 

"What I did was just to make you angry, tease you, make fun of you. If I knew that you had sincere feelings for him I would've never done that. I'm really sorry. I should've realized sooner." He apologized and I could feel the sincerity in his voice. 

His soft voice somehow made me calm. I wasn't angry anymore but could not forgive him. 

"Does it hurt?" He spoke my mind, this time looking at me straight in the eyes. 

"It does," I muttered under my breath. 

He grew closer to me. Sat right beside me then heaved a long sigh. "I'm really sorry." 

There I went, crying again, somehow his apologies soothed my heart a little but in a pained way. He started patting on my back lightly and I couldn't help but put my head over his shoulder while crying hard. Tears just wouldn't stop. 

"It's okay. It's alright," his soft voice said.

I tried to laugh, picturing how the two of us were looking like. Two idiots wrapped in blankets, sitting near the swimming pool as one kept crying, the other one giving her or 'him', a shoulder to cry on. 

But even the hilarious imagery wouldn't let me stop my tears. 

Next day at school, at the cafeteria, Kihyun was stuck by me. 

''Hey, how does that guy look to you?" Kihyun whispered close to my ear so others wouldn't be able to listen. His eyes pointing at a random guy having lunch at another table than us. 

"What?" I questioned furrowing my eyebrows. 

"That guy?" He eagerly pointed with his eyes again. "Or that one? The one beside him?" 

"For what?" I put some rice inside my mouth while talking. "I didn't know you're interested in dudes." 

"Tsk." He clicked his tongue in annoyance then put down his chopsticks. "I'm asking your opinion for yourself." 

I nearly started chocking on my food. "What? No, why!" 

"Come on! The best thing to do after getting a heartbreak is to find a new love interest." He showed his fist. "And don't you worry, I'm gonna find some gay men for you." 

"Is that what you're seeing what I am seeing?" Wonho spoke, nudging Hyungwon with his elbow, making us look his way.

"Dude I told you." Hyungwon started blowing up in laughter. "I told you the other day momma Kihyun found a new baby!" 

"What are you guys whispering about?" Jooheon's eyes became smaller, giving us a sceptical look. 

"Yeah. Tell us too!" Minhyuk demanded. 

I started choking up for real this time as I tried to speak. Thankfully Shownu handed me a glass of water which I gulped down in a second. 

They were going on and on with their random conversation but I had to concentrate on my phone since it suddenly vibrated for an incoming text. 

"Oh my god, I totally forgot about the cafe," I mumbled under my breath, seeing that the text was from Sehun. 

"What happened?" Kihyun asked but I filtered his voice out. 

"I'm dead! He wants me to go to work tomorrow, he's angry!" I yelled after taking a loud gasp, making everyone look my way.


	12. Coffee prince

"This is for only one day right?" Wonho asked with a confused look on his face.

I nodded still grasping what was happening in front me. Everyone either trying to wear their apron or giving me confused looks. Jooheon and Changkyun still hadn't changed into white shirts.

"I can't believe I am doing this shit." Hyungwon came out of the changing room wearing a white shirt and black pants, his hair combed neatly to the back. "It's weekend and I'm working in a coffee shop instead of sleeping," he mumbled as if he couldn't believe himself.

Just a few minutes ago, it was all normal. Just another day, but, I had to come to work and officially quit this time. 

I also had to collect my pays. But when my stupid mouth blurted out about the café yesterday, Changkyun helped me out again saying that it's the place where I used to work before I started working for them. 

I wondered how he could lie with such a straight face. 

When I started early for coming here Changkyun got ready too, saying that he would visit that place anyway for a morning coffee. But I think he was worried for my health.

In no time, I realized everyone was coming with me. As if it was a picnic some sorts of. 

When we got here, the first thing I did was talk to Sehun. He understood, or so I'd thought. His brain seemed to function something else because the moment he came to know the boys were with me, he straight up asked them to help out in the cafe for a day.

To my guess, he understood his business better than anyone else. He could see how customers were swooning over them.

Flower boys and cafe. What else do you need to make more money?

Not hard to guess that only showing their faces was enough. Sehun even said that he would pay them but who would agree to that offer? Well, Minhyuk did.

"Holy shit, there's a big line outside the shop! Is it this busy every day?" Jooheon said incredulously, making his small eyes wide.

"I told you it would be fun!" Minhyuk was excited.

I coughed a little eyeing them all. Surely they looked like eye candies and that's why so many people were coming today. 

Kihyun looked the most natural. He didn't ask any question or complained about it. He was taking orders as well as making the coffee even though Sehun said they didn't have to.

What's more surprising that he was smiling as if he was enjoying it. All I could hear was fangirls squealing from the long line that was in front of him.

Other workers, Hongbin and Suzy were busy teaching them how everything worked. I slowly moved closer to Kihyun. He smiled seeing that I was there. "Help me serving!" His smile faded away for a second as he ordered me like a boss.

"You seem to enjoy it." I chirped, handing out the coffee he was making.

"Well." He let out a small sigh handing another cup to a customer, earning a squeal from her as he smiled politely. "I've never done any part time jobs so I always wondered how it felt like."

I nodded as if I understood. Part time jobs? He wondered how it felt like? And here I had to spend my whole effing day doing part time jobs.

"Hi!" A girl waved at me from the front, two other girls with her. It took me a second to realize they were the regular customers from when I worked here.

"Why didn't you come here the past days!" A girl managed to say aloud in the big crowd. "We missed you oppa," another said shyly.

"I missed you guys too!" I felt this overwhelming happiness hearing that they'd missed me. "I've been busy a little. You would like the regulars, right?"

They nodded, agreeing. I placed my mouth close to the one that was the closest to me. Making her flush red. "Then it's free for you guys. I will add it in my tab," I whispered. Since it was my last day anyway I wanted to make it memorable in some kind of way.

"Oppa?" Kihyun mimicked giving me a look of disgust seeing that I was trying to flirt with the girls. "Get your ass back here!"

I showed him my tongue, but went back anyway. He stared at me for a second then took steps closer putting down the cups that were in his hands.

He came really close and wrapped his arms around me. "What the heck are you doing!" For some weird reason, I blushed a little. He was too close.

"Your apron is loose," he whispered. I realized that he was tying my apron putting his hands behind my back. I bit my lower lip waiting for him to be done.

Suddenly we heard a wave of squeals. Kihyun was done and he looked ahead. I could see too since he wasn't covering what was in front anymore.

People were taking photos of us. Young girls holding both their cheeks and screeching. What the hell happened? Kihyun and I gave each other confused looks.

"Fuck! I live for yaoi!" An over excited girl screamed clicking photos of us nonstop. "Please do more."

I couldn't help but start laughing. However, Kihyun's face was bright red. He quickly hid from the cameras. "It's nothing like that!"

"Oppa!" Someone said in a high pitched tone. Byul made her way to us, pushing everyone out of her way. Her face lit up when she saw me. She gave me a tight hug out of nowhere, even when the counter was in the middle of us. I hugged her back earning a disappointed groan from the crowd.

"What's their case?" Byul looked at them and then asked me. 

"Well, they wanted to see some boys love but is now disappointed to think you're my girlfriend."

"But I am your girlfriend!" She puffed her cheeks. I patted her head and came out of the counter.

"Don't leave me alone!" Kihyun ordered from the back again but I ignored him and took Byul to a lone corner.

"You look great." She eyed me from head to toe. "I was missing you. When you texted me today to meet up I was really happy."

Since I hadn't been able to spend time with, Byul I figured that it would upset her. I was missing her myself too.

"What do you want? I will pay for it." I offered. I was making way more money I'd ever made in my life, and I wanted to share that happiness with Byul.

"Really!? Then I want..."

"Whoa, what's happening here?" A deep voice made us look the way it was coming from, finding Changkyun there standing with his hands placed on his hip.

Byul instantly rolled her eyes. "Did you have to follow us?"

"Well, I would like to see some lesbian shit," Changkyun smirked handing me a towel. "Some tables are dirty I can't wipe them alone."

"Can't you be more quiet about this?" Byul hissed. "Are you trying to give away that Minjae is a girl!"

"You're the one who's screaming now. So maybe you are the one who want to give it away," Changkyun said playfully, making Byul realize that she did shout just now.

Her face became red in anger. "No one's here now!"

"Isn't that just plain stupid?" Changkyun snickered then looked at me. "Your girlfriend was just accusing me of exposing your truth and now that she's done it, in her case, it's innocent cause no one's here!" He said in a mocking tone.

"If you guys continue this, my truth will be exposed in no time anyway." I massaged the bridge of my nose.

"Byul, find a vacant place. I'm coming back to you in a minute. Changkyun, you come with me and wipe the tables." I pushed them both away to the opposite sides.

Bu before parting they glared at each other again. "I hope that girl fails all her test this semester," Changkyun murmured earning a smack on the head from me.

"Yah! I'm older than you." He was looking pissed off but I just shrugged it away. Next second, I went running as he came chasing to hit me back.

The busy day ended quite soon. Meanwhile, we got to eat a delicious lunch and snacks in the evening. We even got some gifts in such a short amount of time from the customers. It was a success and I'd never seen Sehun happier in my life.

The amount of the pay wasn't much but I think this was the first time they'd actually worked hard and got money for that. It made them extremely happy and I couldn't help but smile too watching them.

"Wh-what do we do with this money!" Minhyuk made a surprised face.

"W-we could do so so many things!" Jooheon almost looked like he was about to shed some happy tears.

"You get way more money than this from your parents, guys!" I mentally facepalmed myself.

"Yeah, but what do we do with this!" It looked like Minhyuk didn't even understand what I was saying.

"Should we go and buy ramen?" Wonho offered with a big grin on his face, making everyone shoo him away.

"What if we go to an amusement park and spend it there?" Hyungwon placed an idea and everyone seemed to like it.

"We could do something else too. What if we go camping?" Shownu said. "We could add some of our own money and it could turn into a good trip."

Everyone cheered like they were kindergarten children. I was more than excited as I'd never gone to camping before.

"It would be amazing!" I told the one who was walking beside me, Kihyun.

"Yeah." He said in a distant tone. "The manager from the cafe. Does he like men? I think he was giving you looks.."

"Shut the hell up!" I clasped his mouth with my hands. What was wrong with him?

His eyes danced as his body shook with laughter. Realizing that he was joking, I let him go after rolling my eyes.

"Soyou's birthday is in two days right? You have to make me proud."

"I will," he said with his usual tone of confidence.

___________________________________  
A/nI was inspired to write this book from this drama called "coffee prince". This chapter is dedicated to that amazing drama and if you haven't watched it yet you have to!


	13. Unexpected incident

"I can't believe Kihyun ditched us and went to Soyou's party alone!" Minhyuk vented his anger throwing his sock over to the other corner of the room, then ran to get it back again.

"Yeah. He could've told us about the party," Jooheon retorted with a sigh. 

"Let him be, guys. She's his crush, after all," I defended Kihyun putting my shoes on, getting ready for university. 

"You're clutching on your stomach again. Are you okay Minjae?" Minhyuk asked me all of a sudden, and I realized I was indeed doing that unconsciously.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I shrugged it off but then a sharp pain stabbed me in the abdomen, making me almost fall to the ground.

The guys ran towards me. "He looks really pale." I heard Wonho's worried voice but I was still clutching on my stomach in pain. The lower abdomen area of mine had been hurting for two days but being the stupid me, I had been ignoring it. 

I swear if it was period, I was flipping. But it wasn't, according to the last time I'd checked.

Period was top on the list of things I hated the most. It was the only time in month that never failed to remind me I was actually a girl. Why couldn't guys get periods too?

"Why don't you stay at home today?" Shownu said in a worried tone. "I'll stay and look after you."

"No, Hyung." I shook my head at him looking up. "You can go. I'll call Byul if I feel really sick."

"That's a no no." Hyungwon shook his head wearing a 'know it all' expression on his face. "A guy like you alone here and you want to bring your girlfriend? Nope!" He crossed his arms over his chest.

"Just say that your parents forbade you to bring girls. Kid." I mocked as I got up slowly and took a seat on the couch. My face becoming distorted for the stabbing pain again.

Hyungwon tried to say something but Changkyun yelled before he could. "Then I'm staying with Minjae!"

"Then I'll stay too." Jooheon lazily took his jacket off.

"Hyung, did you forget it's the last date to give back the books you borrowed from the library?" Changkyun reminded him which made Jooheon quickly grab his jacket again and dash outside.

"It's not gastric or girls problem right?" Changkyun asked as soon as everyone was gone from the sight, looking away a little. In embarrassment perhaps, I thought.

"Nope," I responded taking another hit. It felt like someone was stabbing me with the sharp tip of a knife.

"Then can you go to your room and rest? I'll be close by." He took off his coat and went upstairs after I'd nodded.

As I laid on my bed, I tried playing with my phone but I just couldn't concentrate on anything else but the pain. I kept on fiddling with my cell phone, asking myself if I should tell my situation to Byul or not. But I didn’t want to make her anxious. 

My whole body was covered in sweat. I hugged my stomach with both my arms this time. After dwelling with the dilemma I ended up sending Byul a text, telling her to meet me. I tried getting off the bed. But I fell on the ground with a loud thud right the next second.

I couldn't get up, the side of my head hurt for the sudden hit on it. But then I saw someone putting their hands under my body and soon I was on my bed again. It was Changkyun.

"Are you alright?" He said with worry written in his voice. I couldn't see him clearly. The pain was growing, making me feel like it was tearing me apart from the inside.

"I-it's hurting," I managed to mumble under my breath.

"Where? Since when?" He put a hand over my stomach, asking me in a hurry.

"For two days." My body winced as I curled up in pain. "R-right side."

"Lift up your shirt." He commanded, before I could ask anything, he yelled again. "Just do it!"

I lifted up my shirt a little, making my right side of the stomach visible. He crouched down on the floor then touched that area making me yelp in sharp pain.

"There's a bump. Let's go, we need to go to the hospital." He quickly got up then pulled me by my hand. Next second I saw my left hand wrapped around his shoulder. Him lifting me up and pulling me with his own strength since I couldn't walk properly.

"What is it?" I couldn't grasp what was happening here. He got to the garage in a rush then put me in the front seat of his car. Snaking the seatbelt around me he took a turn to take the other seat.

"I think it's appendicitis."

"What?" I screamed at him. "But we can't go to the doctors!" 

He took a look at me before he started steering the wheel. "The hospital we're going to is under my dad's company. Don't worry I'll tell the doctors to keep your gender hidden."

Relief washed over me but soon it went away as the throbbing pain came back.

"I hate how I get sick so many times!" A drop of tear escaped my eyes as I said with a sigh.

"It's not your fault," he said in response.

Everything was going too fast. It was surprising that I didn't faint due to the pain but I was on the verge of collapsing. We got to the hospital, the doctor checked me, I was sent into the emergency for surgery and it all just happened.

Still, before the surgery began and the anesthesia was put in to make my lower body numb, I was hoping that Kihyun was having a good time with Soyou. And perhaps, that he could confess today.

***

After I came to, I slowly opened my eyes. My body feeling numb, legs wouldn't move and I wouldn't dare to move them anyway. The strong smell of medicine hit my nostrils. Everything surrounding me was either white, gray or light blue.

I looked to my side and found Kihyun dozing off, sitting on a chair alone. "You!" My voice woke him up.

He looked around startled, then looked at me. "Oh, you woke up."

Stretching his arms out, he let out a small yawn. "They went out to get food. Everyone's here, your friend byul too." He then looked at me as if suddenly he remembered something. "Do you feel alright now? Should I call the doctor?"

"I'm fine." I motioned him to sit down as he got up to call a doctor. "Was Byul crying?"

"Yeah, she was." He gave me a small nod.

"How long have you been here!" Now that he had said it, only meant that he got here long ago, only god knew how long I'd been sleeping. "Don't tell me you missed the party!"

"I didn't. But I got off quickly. Still, I enjoyed so worry about your own ass now." He narrowed his eyes on me. That party should had been more important than me.

"What about your confession!" My loudness made him clasp his ears.

"Who the hell even told you I was going to confess today!" he shrieked with his hands on his ears.

My mouth parted in awe. "But I thought you would."

"How could you think that I have that much courage already?"

This time I couldn't stay still. I tried getting off the bed and almost fell again but before I could, Kihyun rushed to me and helped me balance myself.

"You lost the perfect opportunity! Gosh!"

"Oh look someone's here. My cue to leave!" He said happily looking at the door then started walking away.

"Don't you dare leave now!" I demanded, he was long gone before that.

My anger faded away seeing someone taking a seat where Kihyun was seated before. Though I didn't know what I was feeling now, and what my expression was.

In front of me aunt was sitting, staring at me with her sharp eyes.


	14. Family

I lowered my eyes, unable to stare back at aunt's piercing gaze but then I mustered up my courage and looked up again. "So you're alright? I was worried for nothing," she said calmly.

Without hearing a word of reply, she started searching through her bag for something. An envelope came out and she stood up, placed it in my lap then went back there to sit again. 

Aunt looked old, every time I saw her it felt like she'd aged more and got thinner than the last time. "Are you okay aunt?" I asked after picking the envelope up. My mind asking millions of question about the said thing. 

A lopsided smirk showed up on her face but it vanished soon. "You can care about your own health." 

Then her eyes scanned the white spacious room. "They've gotten you into a good place. That child, what was his name again?" She tried to remember. 

"Changkyun?" All I could think up was his name since she only knew him. 

"Yes, that child. He called me. I don't even know where he got my number." 

He called aunt? Aunt would most likely tell everyone about my gender situation so I wondered what Changkyun was thinking when he called her. Although, ince his brainwork was better than mine I let it be. 

Aunt played with her fingers looking down. "There's photos of your parents in that envelope. That's all I have of them." 

I looked at her with a puzzled expression then quickly opened the white envelope. Old pictures of my parents, them holding me as a baby and the moments of my birth came out. 

Why was she giving them to me? 

"You're a grown up now. You don't need us anymore nor do we," she said with a hard expression on her aged face. 

My fingers started trembling, water filled my eyes making my vision blurry. Was she talking about cutting their ties with me? They were not the best family but they're the only I had.

"D-did Changkyun say...?" I managed to say in a breathless voice, teardrops already started escaping my eyes. I wasn't even bothering to hide them. 

"No, why would he say that?" She almost shouted, then regained her posture sitting up straight. "Minjae, you're not a baby anymore. Stop crying in front of me. From now on, you're alone so you need to start being braver. I think if your mom, my younger sister was alive now she would've said the same thing." 

But I couldn't stop my tears. The aunt sitting in front of me today felt like a different person. She would beat me, scold me, curse at me saying why my parents didn't take me with them when they died in a fire long ago, why I was the only one alive. Still, that was the familiar aunt.

A sigh escaped her mouth as she looked away. Touching her cheek then wiping away the teardrop that had just fell through. "When your parents died, leaving only you behind there was no one to look after you. I had to. I had to take you in but what about us? What about my own family? Your uncle left us years ago." Her voice broke but she kept on talking. 

"How do you think I raised two children on my own? I had to face so many struggles raising both you and Kyungmi. I wanted to be good to both of you but I couldn't." She touched her cheeks again, I kept on crying. 

"Your parents should've known better, how could they leave you with a person like me. I leached off the money you put through all these years. 

"But doing that, I was the one suffering the most. You had no parents, no one supporting you, still, you grew up better than my own child. You grew up just like your mom, always facing the odds but still being the best. I hated her for that. 

"And I loved her too. You remind me so much of her." Aunt caressed her cheeks but they were getting wet with fresh tears. 

She stood up making me cry harder, as I looked at her feeling myself lost in the deep sea, all alone. "Then, why are you leaving me now?" 

The hard expression was back on her face as she wasn't crying anymore. "I would've left you long ago child. I couldn't keep up with it anymore, facing so much struggle everyday. But I'm glad I didn't. You grew up fine, now you're supporting both yourself and us. We're fine too now. We don't need your support anymore. But if you stay, we'll keep wanting more and that'd only hurt you." 

She took her baggage that was lying on the floor. "I'm leaving Seoul today anyway. Be good to those people and take good care of them. Don't contact me, don't be good to me, or I might change my mind." 

She didn't take another look back and quickly took steps towards the door. Taking a deep breath in, she opened it, and left closing the opened door. I couldn't even say good bye, I couldn't tell her to stay. Tears kept pouring down my eyes and I whimpered for the pain that was growing inside my heart. 

Photos were lying scattered across the bed. My parents smiling as they were holding me, a small child wrapped in a blanket. Photos of mom before she got married. Kyungmi always said that she looked like me but only with long hair. And that her mom, my aunt was far better looking than my mom. We used to get into so many fights for only that reason. 

"Is that you?" A soft voice spoke suddenly. Kihyun held up a baby photo of me. "You were so cute. Where did that cuteness go!" 

Fate brought him again while I was crying. "Why are you always crying in front of me?" He said jokingly, as if he read my mind. 

"Aunt..." 

"I know," he said softly. "I'm really sorry, I overheard. When I saw your aunt entering, I was afraid she might do something again like last time, so I stood by the door." 

I looked up at him and he looked embarrassed. "It's not like I heard everything! I just heard a few stuff by accident." 

"Oh." 

A gentle touch on my cheek made me flinch. Then I realized it was the back of his hand, wiping my tears away. "Don't cry, everyone will be here soon." 

I moved away and started wiping my tears by my own. 

"You have us." 

I looked up at him again, giving him a questioning look. He looked more embarrassed than eved, his ears bright red as he was shifting in discomfort for his own cheesiness. 

"Y-your aunt left you but we wouldn't. We're like a family already." He slapped his cheeks making his face scrunched up in embarrassment. "Just don't cry anymore!" 

In no time, I bursted out laughing. He gave me a look of surprise. I was surprised myself. Before the conversation could continue, everyone entered the room following Byul. 

"Oppa!" Byul cried in a high pitched tone then came running at me. Before she could jump at me for a hug Changkyun held her arm from behind making her stumble. "Are you crazy? He's still sick!" 

"Yah!" Byul gave a deathly glare looking behind. "What if I fell now! You fucking pervert! I'm wearing a short skirt, did you want to see my panty you moron!" 

Changkyun let go of her, giving her a look of disgust. The others were laughing at the funny duo. 

"Hey stop! This is a hospital." Nagging mom Kihyun yelled making the others stop instantly.

"Minjae ah!" Minhyuk took rushed steps towards me. He crouched down to the floor to meet my eyes. "Are you fine now? Is it hurting?" 

There was a pure look of worry on his face. Shownu and Jooheon came closer too. "I wish I was there to take you to hospital." Shownu heaved a small sigh looking at me. "Is there anything you want to eat, Minjae? The cafeteria food here don't look much appealing. I can buy from outside." 

Soon everyone was flooding me with questions. Byul was sitting down holding my right hand tightly as my left hand was occupied with Minhyuk's. Changkyun kept on bragging about how his action saved me and I was smiling at everyone to show I was fine, I was really. 

Changkyun and Byul were fighting again with each other, Shownu, Minhyuk and Jooheon discussing about what kind of food I should eat and for some reason Wonho and Hyungwon were trying to massage my legs and arms. 

"A little to the right. Yeah, now you got the right place hyung," I ordered Wonho who was now happily massaging my knees. 

"Did you call Minjae's aunt, Changkyun?" Kihyun suddenly asked him.

"Yeah, I did. Since she was leaving Seoul today I figured she wouldn't be able to come visit anyway." 

"Well, she did come." Kihyun shrugged.  
Changkyun's eyes were pouring out of his Socket. "What!" 

"Man, how do you even have her number? And how do you know she's leaving Seoul today?" Jooheon asked giving Changkyun a skeptical look like he always did. 

"To take necessary measures before she comes to kill me." Changkyun muttered. Before Jooheon could ask another question Wonho spoke. 

"About the camp thing Shownu hyung said the other day, let's do it when Minjae recovers." A huge toothy grin spread across his face. "It will be a nice change of pace too." 

"Yeah, we could do that." Shownu nodded crossing his arms over his chest. "But when will he get well? He needs proper rest first." 

"What camp?" Byul asked but Changkyun ignored her question and started replying to Shownu. 

"Since it was laparoscopy surgery, Minjae can get well within 1 to 3 weeks. But judging by his condition I think he can get well in a week." 

"Then we're going to camping next week if he gets well by that time!" Minhyuk beamed in excitement. 

"Camping? I'm coming too. I'm not leaving Minjae alone with you." Byul yelled loudly so everyone would hear her this time. She had this furious look on her face. 

"No girls allowed." All of them announced together. 

All I could do was give a stupid grin. _I'm a girl too._


	15. Off to camping

"This place is so big!" I danced around while everyone was wandering inside the living room. The house was definitely way smaller than the mansion they had in Seoul but this one had more of a homey feeling attached to it. 

"Well, all thanks to Hyungwon's dad," Wonho informed. I turned to thank Hyungwon but found him already sleeping on the couch. 

"Minjae, how about after settling down we go and walk around the village?" Minhyuk nudged me with his arm standing close. He was radiating with pure glee. 

"I'll join too then," Shownu said with a warm smile plastered on his face. I looked at their faces with fake watery eyes. "I love you guys so much!" 

"Ew, so greasy!" Kihyun retorted from the other corner of the room. 

"Oh really?" My eyes danced from the thought of teasing him. "But I know a greasier person. Who was the one being greasy at the hospital? Who was the one who told me..." 

Before I could finish I saw Kihyun holding my mouth with both of his hands. He was fast!

I wiggled my eyebrows at him while he ignored it and dragged me to the corner with a window he was standing before. "Another word and I'm throwing you down from here." His eyes pointed outside but I just laughed. 

I peeked outside and a loud gasp left my mouth. All I could see was green, blue and hilly areas. Soon my gasp turned into a scream and I was screaming quite loudly. My excitement seemed to attract others too so they joined me from the back. Soon they are all screaming except Kihyun, who was looking at us like we were a bunch of savages. 

"This place is so beautiful!" Wonho cried from behind. "Now I'm sad we're only here for three days!" 

"But I thought camping was something else." I turned my head back to meet their eyes. "Like staying in the woods in tents, campfire, bonfire and those? I've seen them in movies." 

"We'll do them." Jooheon bobbed his head up and down. "We'll do more stuff than them." 

"You should just rest, Minjae. Even though you got well soon I'm still worried about your health," Minhyuk said and I had the urge to squish his cheeks but controlled myself. 

"I'm fine! Come to think of it, I still haven't told you guys an important thing," I swallowed hard, noting that I ought to come clean right then. 

"What?" Kihyun asked, furrowing his eyebrows. 

"What is this place?" A voice said loudly, it was coming from the entrance door. "My shoes are all ruined!" 

They gaped at Byul as if they couldn't believe she was actually there. She was standing by the door with an annoyed expression written on her face.

"Oppa! I missed you!" Her words made them look at me and I was on my way to escape to the bathroom. Now I was caught. 

"What's she doing here?" Changkyun asked in a calm voice. 

"What do you mean by 'what I'm doing here'?" Byul responded instead of me. "My father has a resort here so don't even think that I followed your sorry asses." 

Then she crossed her arms over her chest. "Though I might've followed Minjae. And I'm going to stay here for three days. Oh and good news, My dad's resort is close to this place too!" 

"Okay pack up everyone. We are going to a different place," Changkyun announced making the others groaned in frustration. 

Byul went towards the door and shut it with a loud thud, as a devilish smirk spread across her face. "I'm not letting you go anywhere, you rats!" 

***

"She's crazy." Kihyun heaved a small sigh when we walked down the narrow road. Tourists and foreigners were seen here and there. Fresh air and beautiful view of ganwondo, everything felt enjoyable. 

"She is a bit. But she's a nice person too." 

Kihyun looked at me as if I'd just uttered a good joke. "At least we could escape. I can't imagine what kind of chaos is going on there now." 

I nodded, agreeing. "But hey, can you really cook?" I asked changing the topic.

"Don't even judge my ability." He sneered and we found that we'd already reached the flea market. "Let's get to business. They will cool down as soon as we give them food!" 

I doubted if coming here without their chefs was really a good idea. 

"Hold these." Without waiting a moment, he shoved a bunch of vegetables in my hands. 

Soon I was following him holding all the bags of fruits, vegetables and other exotic stuff he was buying from the market. So that's why he took me with him coming here.

"Hyung! Let's buy you some ahjumma pants." I pointed to a place where all the old ladies were gathering to buy pants. 

"You'll definitely look good on those. I mean you can cook, take care of everything. You'll be a good ahjumma." 

He angrily started pulling on my cheeks after getting closer. "It hurts!!" I cried loudly but he wouldn't stop. Instead a cruel smile showed up on his face. 

"You should be glad that I'm not tickling you for being disrespectful." Then he started laughing seeing my helplessness. I couldn't stop him as I had so many things in my hands. 

"You, crybaby." He let go when he saw tears forming in my eyes, though they weren't intentional. I bit my inner cheeks frowning. 

"You cheesy hamster!" 

He didn't say anything this time and put some more loads in my hands. Then laughed again watching me. 

After we were done buying the ingredients we went back to the house. Kihyun chose the lawn to cook. I stayed as an assistant and helping hand for cooking, Shownu joined to help too.

Changkyun and Byul looked like they were tired from fighting this much. They were sitting in chairs side by side but facing the opposite directions. 

Minhyuk and Jooheon were dancing outside putting loud music on. Hyungwon and Wonho brought a skyscanner telescope from somewhere and they were reading the manual as well as trying to put it up on the ground. 

After we were done with cooking, we sat outside in a wooden table to ate together.

Kihyun's cooking was pretty decent, scratch that, it was amazing. I only made fun saying that he would be a good ahjumma. What I really thought was he would be a good husband. 

As well as a good wife. 

I started laughing at my own joke. And when I looked up, as expected, Kihyun was giving me a weird look from the other side of the table.

Night fell upon quite soon. Byul had already left and we were all tired for our crazy adventures the whole day. All that was left to do was to make sleeping arrangements. Since there were only three bedrooms, and eight of us, we needed to share the rooms. 

"So how about we share the rooms by pairing up? Two can stay in one room," Hyungwon suggested, hardly keeping his eyes open for the drowsiness. 

"But a pair would be left out like that," Shownu replied first.

"I can sleep in the living room!" I put my hands up. 

"But I have a better idea. Why don't we play rock paper scissor and the loosing pair would have to sleep outside!" Wonho suddenly said.

"Yeah and in a tent!" Jooheon added as I smacked my own face. 

"I'm not doing this shit," Kihyun said but no one listened to him. 

"Yeah, and in costumes. It's cold outside right? So instead of giving them warm clothing we give them costumes!" Minhyuk suggested and everyone cheered. 

"Whatever, I'm not ever losing in this game." Kihyun grimaced. 

After a few rounds, I lost. I expected that since I'd never actually won rock paper scissors. 

What I didn't expect was Kihyun ending up as a loser too.

For being losers we dressed up in costumes. Me in a panda outfit and Kihyun in a hamster one. I was way too enjoying this with the others but, Kihyun looked dead. 

"Enjoy the night!" Jooheon made a spooky laugh to scare us. 

"But I think the ghost lives inside hyung. I could actually feel a presence," I said and Jooheon's smile vanished from his face. "R-really?" 

"Have fun tonight because at morning Byul is going to whip your asses for letting Minjae sleep outside," Changkyun said with a yawn. 

"She doesn't have to know." Hyungwon showed a goofy smile. 

Kihyun was already inside, too tired and annoyed to even hear what they were saying. After they left, saying their goodnights I went inside too. The tent was big enough for two people to sleep. Kihyun was sitting up doing something in his phone, probably setting up an alarm. 

The hamster outfit looked really cute on him but I didn't dare to comment on it. 

"Cheer up baby cheer up baby!" I suddenly felt like singing that song as I tried to do the dance sitting up. 

"Ew." Kihyun threw a pillow at me and lied down. Next second, he turned the light off making everything go dark. 

I sighed letting my face fall first on the pillow. "Ildeogi hagi gwiomi!" Then I sang in a muffled tone, wanting to annoy the hell out of him. 

"Oh, shut up!" 

So I did and tried to sleep. Yet for some reasons I couldn't. I thought I would be comfortable sleeping outside in a tent, but it looked like I couldn't. 

I thought he had fallen asleep lready until his phone's screen flashed indicating that he was awake too. He started typing something on his phone facing the other side. 

The faint light made everything visible. He was quite close and his back was facing me. Suddenly, I felt my ears getting hot. I turned to the other side too. 

"Jooheon just texted me." He said in a low voice. 

"His friend is here too so he'll come to meet us tomorrow. I've heard that he's into men. You might have a chance with him." 

"Oh, shut up!"


	16. He's mine

**YOO KIHYUN**

****

"Oh my god, he's so cute!" Jackson squealed loud enough for Minjae to hear, of course that was intended. 

"I know, I'm cute." Minjae laughed at his silliness, then continued. "But you're handsome Jackson-sshi." 

Jackson let out a muffled screech, clasping his mouth with both his hands. "I swear I'll forget bambam and mark, like shut up!" Then he playfully slapped Minjae's shoulder as they both laughed again. 

How the heck could people become best friends in such a short period of time never ceased to baffle me. 

"Stop bringing up your friends and tell me why the heck are you so early!" Jooheon snapped. "I'm still so sleepy! If only you weren't this loud."

"Well, I've told you a countless times since last night," Jackson deadpanned, then looked at Minjae who was the only one who didn't look tired. "Get ready. We're all going to hiking!" 

The second I heard the word hiking, I let myself fall on the sofa quietly. I couldn't sleep at all last night and I was tired as heck. It's not like I hadn't shared a room with someone before but I don't know why I felt uncomfortable, no, that's not the right word. I didn't just know why I couldn't rest at all last night.

To add more to that, I felt so annoyed with Jackson. 

I told Minjae that he was gay just for fun. 

And now he'd been all touchy-feely with Minjae, making me rethink if he was actually gay. 

But then, why was I not liking this.  
Perhaps, Jackson was not the right guy. 

"Then should we eat breakfast now then proceed getting ready for the..." Minhyuk let out a big yawn then continued, "hiking?"

"We should eat on the way! Pack different foods in each of our bagpacks. That will be more fun!" Jackson replied and I groaned slightly turning to the other side. 

_Good for me beause I absolutely didn't want to make breakfast for you._

__

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_Gosh, why am I so salty today!_

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***

"Can't I just stay at home and sleep?" Hyungwon said in a low voice, his shoulders slumped making his tall body look frail and small. "I really am not liking this at all." 

"Hey it's not that bad." Wonho took in a deep breath. "I feel so refreshed!" 

"It will also help you stay healthy. The air is fresh and it's nice having this kind of exercises," Shownu said showing his goofy eye smile.

"It's easy for you. Both you guys are like buffed body builders," Jooheon joined in the conversation. 

I filtered their loud voices out of my head as I concentrated on what was ahead. The ground only went up steadily indicating it was a cliff. There was a plain field few miles ahead and our idiot Jackson thought it would be fun to eat lunch there. 

"Why don't we make this a game? The one that reaches the field first is the winner!" Minhyuk suggested all of a sudden, making a scowl appear on my face. 

"Why do you bring competitions in everything—!" 

"I'm listening!" Jackson yelled cutting me off. Again I got annoyed by him. 

Minhyuk looked more enthusiastic seeing Jackson joining in his evil idea. "So, there will be a winner and a loser. The winner can order anything to the loser. What do you think!" 

"That's a stupid—" 

"That's a great idea!" Jackson cut me off yet again, with his loud voice. Everyone seemed to agree with their idea since for the first time in a while they all looked pretty excited.

"See? That's what I'm talking about! A game to keep us going!" Jackson cheered as if he was a leader of some sorts. 

"Then I'm sure I'm winning!" Minjae suddenly said, a huge grin covering half of his face. 

"With this much load? And your small body? Don't even joke." I snickered, amused hearing his brave words. 

"Don't forget that I grew up in the rural areas." He snapped his fingers."And my friends! If I win, I will surely make it hard for the loser." 

"Oh I like this Minjae!" Jackson put a fist into the air. "Let's start then!" 

We all started separately. Only Jooheon and Changkyun teamed up because Jooheon was scared for his life thinking he would get lost in the woods.

I didn't rush at all thinking I would need the energy for later. Everyone dashed at full speed at the very moment we started and I knew that soon they would be tired. 

But then I realized, Minjae was there too. 

"Hyung!" He waved from the side then took steps closer seeing that I'd noticed him. "You seem to know what you're doing!" 

"And you seem to like Jackson a lot!" There was an unusual venom in my tone, which surprised even my own self. 

"Yeah! He's great! I've never seen someone so friendly like him." 

He then showed a toothy grin as I looked away, not wanting to show the scowl that had formed on my face. 

_Yeah you've known him only for a few hours and now it's like you want to marry him. Where did your love for Shownu go! You stupid ass moron!_

__

__

I continued cursing Minjae inside my head. My fists made into balls and the knuckles were turning white, my nails digging into the flesh of my palms. It was his choice so why was I so annoyed. 

"Oh look! little birds!" He suddenly started running towards a big tree. Then he took out his cellphone to click photos. He pointed up jumping like a child, his face lighting up with happiness. 

"So?" 

"I'm going to take photos. I'm going to climb up and take them! Then send them to Byul!" He kept on rambling on and on by himself. 

"On that topic, where is Byul today?" I asked realizing Byul hadn't come to bother us. 

"Oh, her family came with her too. She has to hang out with them." 

Finally, some good news. "Good luck taking the photos. I'll be going ahead," I said as I started walking away. 

"Fighting!" He cheered from behind. 

_Yep, fighting. Because you'll surely come last today._

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I put on my headphones on as I clicked on shuffle so random songs in my phone would keep on playing. Twice cheer up came first. And, I remembered last nice.

Minjae looked cute doing the dance on a panda outfit. It almost felt like he was a girl. 

_What the heck was I thinking?_

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But he just gave off this vibe a girl would give, probably. Maybe that's why I couldn't sleep last night. Yes, that must have been the reason. 

And the way he teased me by calling me oppa in the store the other day, I keep on seeing that in my dreams. Dreams? I ought to call those nightmares.

_Something must be wrong with me._

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It's because he was gay I keep on having weird thoughts. He's just gay. _Not a girl._

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After countless of hours, countless thoughts, countless songs and several times of drinking water I was tired and exhausted. The nature didn't feel as refreshing anymore and I only wished of only going home. Finally, the map on my phone showed that I was close to the field. 

It was noon but the sun-rays didn't feel too scorching as the trees were saving me from them. I knew I wouldn't come first. It was probably Shownu or Wonho, Jackson might come first too. But I knew I wouldn't be the last. 

My hope was shattered into pieces when I approached the place. Everyone, every one of them was relaxing out there, sitting on mattresses. 

I rubbed my eyes as I went closer. "Look, who's back finally!" Changkyun brought everyone's attention to me. 

"Thanks god, you're here. Please someone start with the food now!" Jooheon commented. Everyone got busy taking out the lunch boxes Shownu carried in a different bag since he was the strongest. 

"What's happening here?" I asked dumbfounded, still unable to get a hold of what was happening here. 

"Well, we all sticked together since we started ahead. Jackson was with us and he's done hiking in this place before with his friends so he knew a shorter way that doesn't show in the map." Wonho explained and Jackson nodded, agreeing. 

"We texted you dude. You didn't text back," Jackson said and I took out the phone from my pocket. I was so occupied with my thoughts and those songs I never realized texts were incoming.

And now I wanted to rip my hair out of my head.

"Don't worry, since we did kind of cheat we were going to call off the competition. Until—" Wonho swallowed hard. 

"Until what?" I snapped at him. 

"Until we saw that Minjae had already reached before us. And he didn't cheat in any kind of way." 

Minjae waved both his hand after Wonho was finished. I couldn't say anything at all as I took a seat on the mattress. This wasn't fair, and, I was speechless. 

"So in addition for winning. I'm of course going to give a order to Kihyun hyung," Minjae announced standing up, everyone clapped and cheered for him. 

"And since it's my first time ordering him to do something I'm kinda nervous too." He took in a breath. 

"You'll be okay, just say it!" Jackson yelled aloud to give him strength. 

_Who the fuck are you to say it will be okay._

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"You'll have to confess your love to Soyou noona," Minjae said after a silent moment. 

And the loud cheering began, bottles of sodas were opened. I stayed quiet and gulped down the coke in my hand. 

I was sure as hell not as much of a coward they think I was. So I did agree in silent, that after going back I'd confess to Soyou.

Everyone looked like they were having fun excluding me. Jackson wouldn't leave Minjae's side so I couldn't go up and scold that disrespectful kid for ordering me around. 

After we were done with lunch, we finally started climbing down. This time everyone together. Jackson leading the way as his left hand hung over Minjae's shoulder. I was close to them but wasn't paying attention to their animated conversation. 

Until I did at one point. 

"Do you know how to drive? Then I can give you my car. You can drive and I'll sit back," Jackson said making Minjae squeal in excitement. 

"Really? I wish I could drive. I can't." 

"Then, I can teach you?" Jackson suggested in response. "I can teach you the basics of driving in an hour or two." 

"You can do that in only an hour or two? Awesome!" Minjae's mouth parted in awe. 

"Yeah, I taught Mark too," Jackson gloated proudly, then continued. "There's this food stall by the river. You and I could drive their in ten minutes and have ddeokboki. They make amazing of those. Let's go and buy them for others too." 

"Hey," I joined in the conversation before Minjae could give a reply. 

I pulled Minjae's hand making him come closer to me and of course, out of Jackson's grip. 

"I wouldn't make this many plans if I were you. He's mine."


	17. My second kiss

**CHOI MINJAE**

****

****

"I can't believe you actually did that!" I cussed under my breath as I was sitting on the ground, venting my anger out to Kihyun who was just a feet away, lying down on the couch and staring at the ceiling.

"You told stuff like those to Jackson only so you could use me cleaning the whole house, and the lawn, and to help you cook dinner!"

I had this urge to mess up that beautiful face of his he was so darn proud of.

"What kind of stuff?" He asked lazily, as if he had no clue at all.

"T-that stuff! Like you said that!" I stuttered looking away. He would say things like those and then he say I was the one who's gay.

"Like I said, what?" He rolled to the side. This time, facing me as his eyes were on mine, waiting for an answer.

I bit my lip and frowned looking away again, totally not liking this type of sneaky Kihyun. "Whatever! Now Jackson is gone and no one would take me to eat ddeokbooki!"

"I will."

He must had been joking. I sneaked a peak at his eyes to observe if he was really kidding or not but he looked pretty serious.

"This is our last day here so yeah, let's go. But we are coming back before they wake up," he suggested as he got up to get ready.

It was eight in the morning and I was sure others would wake up pretty soon.

"I don't think coming back that soon would be possible."

"Let's go anyway." He stretched out his arms letting out a little yawn.

Was this really Kihyun?

"Yay!" I cheered putting both my fists up into the air, then I straightened up. "I'm going to eat all I want, okay?"

"Do whatever. And put some warm clothes on."

"I love you!" I chirped happily and for the first time ever he didn't gag.

We got ready and I took his suggestion wearing warm clothes. Since there was an easier and shorter way by foot, we started walking. Me humming, singing and dancing all the way, we found ourselves near the river soon. The food stalls around had a lot of customers but it didn't take us time to find the stall being famous for ddeokbokis. In fact, the scent of food was so delicious it had me drooling from miles.

Kihyun looked pretty excited by himself as he was taking photos of several things, his own selfies of course. As if he even forgot my existence. To remind him I was there too, I showed some ugly meme faces from behind when he started taking selfies of him with the sceneries.

And the outcome was hilarious indeed, which made him frown because he couldn't click some handsome photos.

_Take that Kihyun! I learned making hilarious faces from Hyungwon and they could literally win some best meme-face awards._

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"For your information, Jackson isn't gay," I said eyeing the mouth watering ddeokboki as an old lady placed it before us.

"He is. After yesterday, it's confirmed."

He started placing some of the food into different small bowls for us using his chopsticks. For some reason, I felt that maybe, he got annoyed when I mentioned Jackson. Or maybe it was just my imagination or whatsoever.

"Don't say those. I've heard he's famous in Seoul. He's from an idol group? Why didn't you guys tell me that!"

"That's nothing to tell." He started eating the food and looked like he was pretty much concentrated on only doing that.

My jaw fell on the ground hearing him say that. I didn't know that since I'd spent most of my life working my ass off. Jackson was famous and I should've definitely known that.

"Really, hyung?" I rolled my eyes at him. "Anyways, Jackson-sshi produces great songs! He said he will send me some!"

"You guys exchanged numbers?" He started coughing loudly, choking on his food. I quickly handed him the water before it could get any worse.

"He...I..."

"Please calm down first! Then talk!" I yelled seeing that he was coughing yet trying to speak. It looked hilarious but I was worried, really. 

He took in a deep breath rubbing his chest, closing his eyes he opened them again. "Look Minjae, he's probably not the right guy. The way he talks makes me think he flirts with various guys. He will cheat on you. I'm sure of it."

"Again!" I furrowed my eyebrows scowling. "He's not even gay! This is not fun anymore! Stop joking."

"Then delete his number."

He couldn't be serious. Though he looked like he was.

It was pointless for me to talk so I started eating quietly instead. "I can produce better songs than him." He took advantage of my silence and said that.

As soon as I opened my mouth to reply he shoved his chopsticks full of food inside it. "Chew slowly." He watched me eat, getting ready to feed me again.

Like he was my mom or something he kept on feeding me and I ate it like I was his child. What even was this? Then suddenly he started poking my cheeks with his used chopsticks and with that, some sticky yellow stuff got stuck on my skin. As if he was painting my face he did that several times and I just kept on staring like a dumb kid.

When he put down his chopsticks to look at the artwork he had made, he burst out laughing. "You look so funny!"

"What?" I startled getting back from my daze. I was staring at his handsome face completely unaware of what he was doing here. I grabbed a handful of tissue that was on the table but by then he had taken several photos of mine, and he was still laughing loudly.

"You're not fun. I hate you." I fake cried rubbing my face and it only made him laugh harder.

"I swear if you're not one of the dumbest people on earth!"

"I'll take revenge for sure one day just you see!" I crossed my arms over my chest getting determined.

"Whatever, let me send your photos to everyone first. Oh, wait—" He frowned as he stared at his phone's screen. "They have woken up already. Texts were sent forty minutes ago."

It seemed like he was scrolling through the messages. "And they are going on a tour to the village if we don't come back. And—" His eyebrows got more scrunched now that he was staring at his phone intensely. "They have left."

"They left without us?" My eyes went wide. How could they do that? It would've been so much fun to explore together.

"Yep, they did. What now?" He looked up at me.

"Huh. Then we're gonna have fun by ourselves too." I got more determined now, with nothin other than the idea of getting a revenge. "Let's take lots of photos and show them that we had lots of fun."

"That's a good idea," he said thinking a little.

"Send them those meme photos too."

"Never!"

This time we took selfies together at the food stall. After paying, we went outside and decided to explore the area for a bit. The river looked beautifully blue and we couldn't help but run to dip our feet into the glimmering water.

Kihyun noticed that they were renting small boats nearby which two people could use together. It seemed like a great idea to take photos in the middle of the river so we went ahead and rented one.

All this time, Kihyun was looking way excited than I thought he would ever be. We took the boat into the deep but the shore could still be seen. They gave us lifejackets too in case we needed them.

But then we discovered lots of other people were in the river too beside us. Rowing their boats. They were all, couples.

"The heck is this?" Kihyun's excitement vanished as he grimaced. "Don't even look there, someone's kissing!"

He shouted before I could turn my head to the left. "What do we do now?" I asked and to ruin our little fun even the sun started spreading more heat. Now I was dreading wearing warm clothes.

"Let's just take photos and be done with it." He suggested quickly pulling out his phone from pocket.

"Hmph, but all the photos are plain. Why don't we do some stunts this time? You can go to the other end of the boat and capture the selfie from there. It will show more of the scene and the whole boat too."

"Like this?" He shoved himself to the corner.

"No, a little ahead."

"This?"

"A little."

"Now?" He asked annoyed.

"Hm, Maybe another inch? There's still place."

_Splash!_

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That's all I could hear.

***

"When I said you're one of the dumbest people on earth, I wasn't joking," he said in between the clattering of his teeth.

Wearing drenched sweaters and walking home on those, it was indeed nerve wrecking.

"I was wearing a life jacket and I can swim! Did you need to jump in the water to save me?" He shouted then rubbed his forehead as his head hung low. "I can still hear everyone laughing." 

"I'm sorry," I said shivering in the cold and he was trembling too even though we had both changed clothes and had blankets on top of us.

When we got back no one was at home since they all had gone out to explore. As we both sat on the balcony, our feet touching the warm grass, blankets on top of us this, somehow reminded me of what happened in front the swimming pool at the mansion.

Now we were both back to that again.

"Why am I getting wet every time I'm with you!" I screamed frustrated.

He snapped his head towards me and his eyes were bulging out of his socket. It took me a moment to realize what I had just said.

"Oh my god that sounds wrong! I meant—"

He started laughing loudly before I could finish and I realized I was doing the same. That smile was back on his face, the one that made his cheeks and eye areas form many lines, I swore his smile was beautiful.

"You're just, I don't know what to say." He was still laughing then he looked like he just remembered something and got up. "Wait a little."

He went inside and came back after a few minutes with two mugs of coffee. Placing one in front of me he took his seat like before.

"Wow!" I awed over the coffee I had, literally staring at the mug then taking a turn to stare at him then staring at the mug again. The coffee even had a thick foam forming on top and the fragrance was all over.

"Well, I had to work in a coffeeshop for one day," he said in a low voice like it was some kind of secret, making me giggle loudly.

I held the warm mug with both my hands, closing my eyes I tried to feel the warmth. All of a sudden I felt that, this was one of the funniest and the brightest day of my entire life.

Taking a sip and the taste was even better than it looked. I opened my eyes and Kihyun was staring at me for an opinion.

"I love it!" I shouted putting down the coffee and hugged him from the side like a child. "I love you!"

"You're like a kid!" He pulled away right after then stared at my face for a second. "You even eat and drink like a kid."

He leaned in a little, that was unexpected so I flinched when I felt his thumbs softly brushing over my lips.

I looked at his face wide eyed, it felt like someone had stopped the time. He had the perfect facial features from his soft hair that was brushing over his forehead to his chin and his lips. Suddenly a familiar feeling at my stomach happened, it turned. My heart beat accelerated as well. I quickly looked away; what is this.

"There," he said rolling his lower lip inside his mouth and I looked at him again. Our eyes met.

There was something in his eyes, as if they were pulling me in, I couldn't look away again. He wouldn't too.

The distance was somehow getting closer. He leaned in more.

Before I could realize what was actually happening, I felt the soft skin of his lips against mine. His lips were warm and had a strong fragrance of coffee.

They were captivating, drawing me in each second. Whatever was happening, I couldn't care. I closed my eyes, there were fireworks happening inside my chest and stomach. This was a very funny feeling.

My second kiss, it tasted like coffee.


	18. Going back

**YOO KIHYUN**

****

****

His lips were soft. It almost like he was melting inside my mouth and I wanted more, I wanted more of those lips. 

His hot breath mixed with mine as we were kissing, my hand went forward to touch his. His fingertips touched mine, hesitantly yet slowly I wrapped his hand with mine. 

_Wait, what was I doing?_

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_Why was I kissing him!_

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I pulled away, immediately breaking our contact. Minjae opened his eyes and he just stared at me wide eyed for a second, I was sure I was doing the same. His face flushed bright red and next second he ran away from my sight. 

What did just happen? 

I still couldn't fully grasp it, everything just happened naturally. I was trying to clean that foam off his lips and they were really soft, his skin too. I was thinking of making fun of him for that. 

And then I looked up, he was staring right into my eyes. And he looked, shy and embarrassed when our eyes met. 

His face was so close, those large eyes, those soft cherry-like lips, his cheeks tinted with pink. Before I knew it I had leaned in and kissed him. 

Why did I kiss him? _Oh god!_ Suddenly I felt this heavy feel of frustration hitting me and I wanted to yell at myself. 

Why the heck did I do that! What is wrong with me! 

As I was still sitting there with so many mixed feelings inside my heart, I couldn't even name those feelings. I pulled the hair on the front side of my head as I bit my lip. 

A strong sensation of his touch was still there. 

***

"I wish we could stay here for longer," Wonho whined as he stirred a piece of meat on the griller. "I can't believe we're leaving tonight!" 

"You've been saying that for a while. Now concentrate on cooking the meat." 

"I can't do this anymore!" He put down the stick with a loud clank. "My back hurts. Find someone else to assist you." 

He then looked back and seemed to find someone. "Minjae! Help him with cooking!" 

"I'm coming!'' I heard Minjae yelling from afar. _Oh no._

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I focused on cooking the meat as he came and stood beside me. Wonho ran off to somewhere. I didn't want to see Minjae even from my peripheral vision and to be honest, I'd never felt so awkward in my life before. 

It would've felt the same last time but that was an accident. He also acted normal before but now I could feel a stiff aura coming from him, I knew he felt uncomfortable too. 

This was all my fault. It was a mistake, I wished it never happened. 

"I'm hungry!" Changkyun approached us from nowhere. Leaning in, he tried to judge the meat that was over the hot coal. "It still looks raw!" 

I thought Minjae would say something in reply so I stayed quiet but he was silent too.

"What happened between you two?" Changkyun asked, observing our faces. 

"Nothing," we said in unison then looked at each other. It wasn't a second until we looked away again. 

"This is fishy. What happened really?" He asked again, furrowing his eyebrows in disbelief. 

"Oppa? Could you help putting the campfire? These dorks can't!" Byul came from the back shouting loudly. 

"We aren't dorks!" Changkyun yelled in reply but she was only looking at Minjae for an answer, ignoring Changkyun's presence. 

"Yeah, I could help. But Kihyun hyung needs—" 

"I'm fine," I said concentrating on the meat. "You can go." 

Without another word, Minjae left with Byul. Changkyun did the same after giving me another judging look. Thanks god, he didn't ask any questions again.

I could finally breath as they were gone now. Holding the iron stick tightly, I could only curse at myself. 

I hated myself for doing that, the thing I did earlier today. I wish I could go back in time and held myself. 

I shouldn't had even come here at the first place. Because since I'd been here I'd only faced weird feelings. Especially the day Jackson came, it began from there. I hated that I knew exactly what I'd felt back then. And that feeling is called jealousy. 

Taking a look back where they were trying to make a campfire as Minjae was helping this time, Byul hanging by his side. _That's how it should be. He should just like some guy or girl, whoever he wants._

__

__

_And I should stick to liking Soyou. That's how it should be!_

__

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I was not gay. I didn't have any feelings for him. It was all a big mistake. A really big mistake. 

Pulling my phone out from my pocket, I searched through the contact list for Soyou's number and then quickly sent her a text message.

Hoping she would be free after college tomorrow. 

After I was done with cooking, Jooheon and Minhyuk helped me serve the food. We all gathered and sat around the fire to enjoy our vacation for the last time. 

Minjae and Byul sat together. I was at the opposite direction with a complete view of them. And I forced myself to think of anything else. 

Anything else but the kiss. Anything else but him. 

"So what do we do to enjoy this evening?" Wonho threw the question at the crowd, us. 

"How about Kihyun sings a song?" Hyungwon proposed. "We all know he sings very well." 

Before everyone could cheer for it and drive me crazy, I insisted. "Yeah, but Jooheon and Changkyun can rap. Ask them to rap something. You guys can sing too so sing for yourself." 

"Whoa, no need to act this bitchy!" Minhyuk pouted as I rolled my eyes. 

"He's always bitchy," Jooheon added. "Anyone else have any other ideas?" 

"How about horror stories?" Byul suggested excitedly and Minhyuk almost started screaming, siding with her for the forst time ever. "Yes yes! That's a good idea." 

"Oh no. Oh no no no. I'm leaving if you guys start that shit." Jooheon shook his head looking pale already. 

"How about truth and dare?" Shownu finally said something as he was silent all these time. 

"That's childish." I sighed but everyone else started agreeing with Shownu. 

_God, I hated this game!_

__

__

"I like this! How about confession time? Confess your feelings or get a dare!" Minhyuk came up with one of his foul ideas and as expected, everyone liked it. 

An empty bottle of coke was placed at the middle, near the fire. Shownu spun it since it was his idea and he was the oldest. The empty bottle span for a while, then pointed towards Byul. 

"We'll start from her!" Minhyuk announced loudly like he was an mc of some kind of variety show. "So Byul, among us whom do you have some sorts of feelings for?" 

"I like Minjae. Duh! I'm his girlfriend." Byul rolled her eyes and a wave of laughter was born among us. 

"We all know you ain't his girlfriend. Maybe you wish you were!" Changkyun said laughing whilst Byul gave Minjae a shooting glare. 

"You told them?" 

"They just kinda guessed. I didn't say anything." Minjae shrugged looking guilty. 

"Minjae! Since you're beside her tell us your confession next!" Minhyuk voiced loudly, saving him from Byul. 

"Me?" Minjae pointed at himself then looked at the others, his eyes landed on Shownu at the end. 

_Stupid, don't say it._

__

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"I liked Shownu hyung." 

There he went. That stupid boy. 

Everyone became silent. I mentally cursed at him. Sometimes feelings were better not spoken, especially in cases like his. 

"Well, I like Jooheon hyung." Changkyun broke the awkward silence with his deep voice. "Jooheon hyung, I like you," he said in a serious tone staring at Jooheon's eyes. 

"You like me?" Jooheon asked making his eyes wide. But soon he started laughing. "I love you too Jagiya!" 

This time, everyone joined in their laughter. I let out a breath of relief, thank god they took Minjae's confession as a joke. 

"I like you too Minjae." Shownu showed his goofy smile and Minhyuk raised his hand. 

"But I like Shownu hyung too!" 

"Oh no! A love triangle has been born." Minjae cried dramatically. 

"Make that a love tetragon cause I'm in love with Shownu hyung too." Jooheon suddenly said making Changkyun scream. "Jagiya! Why are you betraying me!" 

"This just turned into a soap opera. Wish I had some popcorn," Byul commented putting her elbow up, then placing her chin on it. 

"What about Kihyun?" Shownu asked. 

"Yeah, tell us your feelings. Maybe you like Shownu too." Hyungwon started laughing as he said. 

Wonho made his mouth 'o' shaped. "Then wouldn't it turn into a love pentagon?" 

"Huh, he's too serious. I bet he's thinking of only Soyou now," Jooheon retorted and again they started laughing. 

I cleared my throat so it could produce a louder voice that everyone would hear in this chaos. 

"I'm going to confess to her tomorrow." 

"Yeah, right." Wonho nudged me with his stout arm but seeing my seriousness he took a double take. "Wait, for real?" 

"It's finally happening!" Minhyuk shouted excitedly and everyone followed after him. Cheering, clapping, shouting loudly. _I might just go deaf tonight._

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__

"Minjae! Your hard work has finally paid off!" Minhyuk told Minjae as he was just looking at me with awe. Next second, he snapped back from his reverie and started clapping happily. 

Minjae showed me a thumbs up. "I'm so glad for you hyung!" 

I nodded giving him a small smile. Soyou just texted me saying that she was free after her classes tomorrow. That was my chance. 

I needed a change. 

And I needed to distance myself from Minjae.


	19. New feelings

**CHOI MINJAE**

****

****

"You changed your hair color!" I couldn't help but gasp seeing that Kihyun had changed his hair color. The brown locks over his forehead was gone and instead it was black with slightly shorter slicks of hair. 

But he still looked good. Really good. 

_Maybe even better._

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"Yeah," he replied tersely, then bit the corner of his lower lip. "Does it look bad?" 

"No!" I shook my head vigorously. "Any special occasion? Oh wait, you're gonna confess to Soyou noona today. Is that what it's for?" 

I giggled happily, almost forgetting that it was awkward yesterday, even today when I'd met him in college, since he left the mansion earlier than everyone.

Maybe he was avoiding me, but I was trying to do the same, honestly. 

"No, I just needed a change." He shrugged, avoiding to look in my eyes. 

"Do you have any plans? Maybe I could help..." I trailed off, not sure if what I just said would be right. He wouldn't need my help anymore. He didn't even discuss with me when he made up his mind to confess, perhaps it was all for the best. 

"Do you think flowers would work?" He said hesitating a bit and I almost jumped in excitement. 

"Of course! Now we're back to business. Let's go pick some flowers." As I tried dragging him, he didn't look sure about going somewhere with me. 

He was still stiff. That comfortable aura around us wasn't there anymore. 

And I didn't want that. I didn't want us to be awkward. It was nice having a friend like him. What happened yesterday was definitely a mistake. 

I wanted to forget about it. 

But I couldn't. 

"Do you know her favorite color hyung?" I tried speaking first as we both walked towards the flower shop. He wouldn't speak unless I asked some question, _this was so unlike him._

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"No." He frowned eyebrows thinking hard to himself. "I don't know really." 

"What are you saying! How could you not know such an important thing." I kept on talking, for some reasons sounding nervous. I hoped he wouldn't notice that. It's just that his new hairdo kept making me forget he was Kihyun. 

He was so handsome at times like this, it felt unrealistic. 

"Like my favorite colors are—" 

"Grey and black," He finished my sentence and then looked at me startled. I thought he wasn't listening but it seemed like he was. 

"It's just that I've noticed most of your shirts and outfits are grey or black." 

I was still watching him with awe. That was so smart of him.

"It doesn't match with your personality though. Anyone would think you like bright colors such as red, orange or yellow.." He pursed his lips looking ahead. 

"Oh. Maybe my mind is dark." I joked with a straight face and immediately regretted.

But I was surprised hearing his laughter. "Black is my favorite color too. Surprising right?" He looked at me, our eyes met and we instantly looked away. 

Even though we were talking normally he felt distanced. Almost as if we were strangers. 

_It hurt._

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"Oh look, there's the flower shop." I pointed at a shop with glass walls, flowers and plants could be seen from outside. 

"Maybe you should buy roses," I suggested while we walked into the shop and the owner greeted us with a polite smile. 

"But that's cliché." He tilted his head to the side. I giggled a little nervously. 

"Giving flowers while confessing is cliche too." 

He snapped his head towards me as if he had just realised that was the truth. "Maybe we shouldn't buy flowers then!" 

"Nope, she's definitely the type to like flowers." I pushed him towards the pots of tulip flowers. "How about these dark purple ones?" 

He went there and started observing the flowers with a frowned face. 

"What about the place? Where are you going to confess?" 

"I don't know, a cafe or—" He looked at my face as if he was looking for a suggestion. 

"How about a park? Too much people in a cafe." 

He nodded, gently stroking the flower petals with his fingertips. 

"H-hyung?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Would you mind if I stayed with you when you confess?" 

***

What I meant by staying with him was to look from afar, so I could see if everything was going alright. 

I'd been rooting for Kihyun's one sided love fot months, so who would be happier than me if they started dating, _right?_

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I took a look back at where he was standing near a bench, waiting for Soyou. It was good that the park was quite empty. Soyou walked up to him and Kihyun greeted her with a smile. I couldn't hear what they were saying since they were quite far from where I was standing. 

Turning away, I faced the other side. Kihyun was obviously not sure about bringing me with him yet I kept on begging. Then he made me promise not to look their way and, only by that deal he took me with him. He said he would feel embarrassed if I watched. 

Since it was his first time confessing to someone. 

_He acts like a teenager in love._

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That's why I was definitely happy that he had found the courage to confess, I was happy for him. 

_Then why did it hurt somewhere._

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Maybe I felt that way because the weather was so cold, it was making me have strange thoughts. I hugged myself and looked up to the sky. It looked dark and cloudy. 

Cossing my arms over my chest I leaned forward a little. Good thing was I'd brought my jacket but I was still shivering. 

I'd always wondered how a first kiss would taste like. 

Since I liked reading books, romance novels, and they always wrote it in such a way that could givs you a thrill, make you wonder how a touch of another person, a person you like would feel like. 

I definitely never thought a guy's lips would be this soft. I always thought they would be harsh and cold. 

Until I felt someone's. 

The cold wind was making my senses numb. I didn't actually know what I was thinking of. In a reverie, I touched my lips. I still couldn't forget that tingling sensation. 

_Maybe I never will._

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But it was all a mistake, on my part too. Perhaps somewhere in my mind I wanted to kiss him too. Now I hoped he wouldn't feel any guilt towards it. 

And that it wouldn't come between his and Soyou's relationship.

My first kiss, if you could even call that one was an accident. I kept my mind off it. But the second one was different.

It was like a rollercoaster. _You're afraid, you don't know what's going on but you're heart is beating loudly and you want to have a taste of that thrill._

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_As the ride goes on your heart only accelerates beating faster. You become more afraid but you can't help enjoying it._

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_Nonetheless, the ride lasts for only a while and what comes after that is either you're more terrified or you're happy and would like to experience it again._

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I wanted to stop thinking those pointless things. That kiss was never meant to be, anyway. 

Suddenly I saw a snowflake, dropping on my nose.

I looked up and snow was falling. White sprinkles of snow falling everywhere, the sky still dark and gloomy. Heaving a small sigh I held out my hands to catch them. But they kept melting in my palms. 

"It's so cold!" A voice spoke beside me, making me startle. I looked to the side and it was Kihyun. 

He was smiling looking up at the sky. His smile was really warm, unlike the weather. 

Surprising because he looked cold since morning. Now he seemed happy. He probably got accepted. 

"How did it go?" I asked and he looked at me. 

His eyebrows got scrunched, he quickly put off the muffler he had wrapped around his neck. Then he took steps forward and gently put it on me, tying a knot on the front. 

"You look cold! We should go home." 

"Eh!" I flinched moving away in denial. "It's the first snow fall! Let's watch for a while." 

"Yeah, but you'll get a fever, stupid." 

I didn't take his word to my head and kept staring at the sky as the cold snow hit my face. Closing my eyes shut, I was enjoying it. 

"Isn't it nice? Your first confession and the first snow? I think you guys are meant to be together." 

A smile slowly showed up on my face as I stated that. He kept silent for a while. 

"I didn't confess though." 

I turned my face to his side. "What!?" 

"I couldn't." He bit the corner of his lower lip looking ahead. "I just gave her the flower and the birthday gift I bought with you for her. Then I apologized for leaving her birthday party early the other day. I couldn't give her the gift that day too." 

Taking in a breath, I tried clearing my mind. Of course, confessing to your one sided love wouldn't be easy. He must be feel disappointed now as he couldn't accomplish that. 

Then why was he smiling? 

"Did she like that gift?" I asked and he nodded looking at me. 

"There's one for you too." 

He opened his backpack and took out a box. I remembered the day he bought two snowglobes and one of them was the one that was in front of me now. _But I thought he had bought it for himself?_

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"For me?" I managed to ask in a breathy voice. The cold was getting to me, also this uncertain feeling I had. 

"Yeah. You really liked them the other day so I bought one for you too. I thought I would give it to you as a surprise gift, or a reward someday." 

I took the box in my hand and pulled out the snowglobe. I couldn't help but laugh remembering how he said it was stupid but here, he had bought one for me. 

"Then why are you giving it to me now?" I asked, still laughing. 

"I don't know. Let's go home now." 

Again he was ordering, I rolled my eyes putting it in my bag. "Thank—" 

"Give me your hand." He cut me off and held out his hand asking for mine. 

"Why?" I asked being curious but still held out my hand towards him, he grabbed it. 

He intertwined our fingers together then put it in a pocket of his long coat. "Knew your hands were cold. That's why I was scolding you, stupid." 

He snapped at me and I watched him with awe. I had to stand really close to him since my hand; our hands were in his pocket. Next moment I felt this heat rush to my cheeks. 

"I-I'm fine!" I stuttered trying to pull away my hand but he wouldn't let go. Only his grip got tighter as he started walking like that, with me by his side. 

"How come your hands are so small," he murmured then laughed by himself. "It feels like I'm holding a girl's hand." 

I rolled my lips inside my mouth walking beside him. His hand was really warm and my hand was small enough to perfectly fit in his. 

This actually felt like a dream. 

"Why are you doing this?" I murmured. Didn't know why I suddenly felt like crying. The feeling I had in my chest was too overwhelming. I was afraid it was unreal and would vanish soon. 

"I don't know, I felt like it," he said in an unsure tone, then continued after letting out a small sigh. 

"You know, I feel so weird these days. I've never felt like this before. I'm really afraid of these feelings." 

"W-what feelings?" I stuttered again, trying to have a glimpse of his face but he wouldn't look my way. 

I kind of knew what he was trying to talk about and didn't know at the same time. 

"I don't know. But I want to try."


	20. Second lead

"T-try? What did he mean by try? And, why the fuck are you telling me all these now!" Byul cried holding her head with both of her hands. I had to draw back and grasp all those cries of her. 

"A week has gone by and nothing happened? That can't be the last thing. Please give me a lead, my brain is going crazy!" She continued throwing a tantrum. 

I let out a frustrated groan, we were both sitting on the campus ground and Byul kept on asking questions I had no answer of. "I don't know. He said that, but now he's acting all normal again while I keep thinking about stuff." 

Suddenly I blushed remembering his words again. Could it be that he liked me? That seemed impossible. 

"He deffo likes you! Now, tell me." Byul came closer narrowing her eyes at me and I had to lean my head backwards. "Do you like him?" She asked carefully. 

"No!" I shrieked as if it was totally impossible. "I don't! Not in that way! I mean.. Argh, I'm not sure." I groaned again, hiding my face with my hands. 

"I'm sorry for telling you all this so late, Byul. Everything is just driving me mad. I need to talk to someone." 

"It's okay." She gestured her hand at me to let it go. "I'm really happy that you're finally acting like a girl. I've always wanted to deal with your love related problems." 

"Love related problems? What love? There's no love between us, I don't even know if I like him or not!" 

"That's why we need to figure it out. We need a plan." Her eyes showed a glint of cleverness as she smirked.

"What are you talking about?" I gulped hard, staring at her. 

"Yah!" She turned her face to the other side and yelled out to Changkyun who was playing football nearby. He pointed at himself to make sure and Byul shook her head making him run towards us. 

"What do you want?" Changkyun asked furrowing his eyebrows. 

"I want you to act like you love her." She pointed at me, making Changkyun and me, both scream in unison. 

"What?" 

Byul crossed her arms over her chest wearing a know it all expression. "Look, I've watched enough kdramas and read enough fan-fictions. In times like this, you need a second lead to appear, okay?

"You know why it's not working out in your case? Because the second lead game isn't strong. You're living with seven freaking guys! You need atleast another guy to like you so we can have the second lead syndrome, girl!"

"What the hell are you talking about? Care to spill some beans cause I can't understand any fucking thing!" Changkyun huffed, sweat still dropping from his forehead. 

"We need Kihyun and Minjae to realise that they like each other." Byul explained in short. 

"Oh, okay." Changkyun nodded but hollered the next second. "Wait, what? What in the world!?" 

"There's nothing going on, I swear," I cried but Byul made me stop. "For God's sake, you guys kissed! He kissed you!" 

"He kissed what?" Changkyun yelled louder. 

"Shut up," Byul and I yelled back at him together. 

"First, calm your non-existent tits. Second, sit here and listen. We need someone trustworthy in our team." Byul ordered making Changkyun sit without asking anything again. 

"Trustworthy?" He cocked an eyebrow at her after calming down a little. 

Byul rolled her eyes, then let out a sigh. "As much as I hate to say this, you're pretty much trustworthy." 

"Ew, you're weird, but thank you." Changkyun made a face. "Now Minjae, tell me everything in detail. I knew something was going on." 

"You knew?" I asked, although I had realized he was always quick to catch on things. 

"Yeah. You guys are so awkward with each other these days. I always find you staring at him, or him staring at you." 

I felt my cheeks going red, _he often stared at me?_

__

Taking in a deep intake of oxygen, I tried telling him most of the parts. Byul listened everything again with sheer excitement. After I was done, Changkyun didn't look as much surprised as I thought he would. 

"I don't think the second lead thing would happen if it's me. And to be honest, that's a stupid idea." 

"What do you know anyway?" Byul grimaced rolling her eyes at him. 

"More than you, now stop meddling. It's better if they figure out their feelings by themselves. Though, I think one person could've been a good second lead." He scratched his chin thinking hard. "Wang Jackson." 

***

"Did you tell him to come here?" I whispered, low enough so only Changkyun would listen. As soon as we hsd entered the mansion my eyes landed on Jackson who was lazily sitting on the couch, conversing with Jooheon. 

"No, I don't even have his number," Changkyun answered and we both gave each other a look. 

_Then why was he here?_

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"Minjae ah!" Jackson sprinted up from his seat, anx then gave me bear hug after quickly approaching me. 

"Hyung, what are you doing here?" I asked after he let go. A big grin spread across his face. 

"Jooheon and I were planning to go clubbing today. I wanted to know if you could come too, so we waited for you!" 

I looked at Changkyun and he shrugged. "Okay, I'll go." I replied, thinking a little. 

"Anyone else wants to come?" Jooheon happily voiced out to the others who were doing their things across the living room but no one showed any interest. 

"I knew no one would want to come!" Jooheon's smile got replaced with a scowl. 

"How about Kihyun hyung?" Changkyun suggested out of nowhere. Kihyun was sitting close to us but he was concentrating on his phone, not listening to us. 

Changkyun called out his name again and this time he looked up. "Me? No, I'm fine. I don't want to go." 

"Come on dude!" Jackson went towards him excitedly. "Loosen up a little!" 

Kihyun looked at me and I bobbed my head vigorously so he would come too. Letting out a sigh of defeat, he got up. "Okay." 

"Yay!" Jackson and I both twirled around, putting our hands up. Jooheon went to give Kihyun a hug. "That's my bro!" 

We all took our seats in Jackson's car and he was the one driving. It took us twenty minutes to reach the place Jackson and Jooheon were so excited about. I was thrilled thinking how a club would be like, it was my first time going to one. 

There were lots of people outside, a big line forming at the entrance too. However we didn't need to wait in a line, the scary looking security guard opened the front gate for us after checking Jackson's card. 

The loud music hit me as soon as we had entered. It was hard to see at first, considering how dark it was with only red and blue neon lights here and there. Soon I discovered myself in the midst of people grooving to the music and I felt like dancing too. Even though I didn't know anything about dancing. 

"This place is awesome!" I screamed but Jackson had to move his head closer to listen, everything else was just too loud. 

"Really? Wanna dance?" He screamed back close to my ear. 

"Yeah! But I look like a potato trying to flap it's arms around when I try to dance." 

He started laughing, and then came closer to my head again and shouted, "but that sounds really cute to me!" 

"What about you guys?" We looked back at Jooheon and Kihyun. Jooheon was bobbing his head to the music but Kihyun stood still. 

"Kihyun? Kihyun! Is that you?" An unknown voice suddenly came from another direction and we all turned our heads towards there. 

A girl in shorts and blue shirt with long black hair pushed her way out of the crowd and came stood closer to us. 

"Oh my god, it is you!" She looked genuinely surprised. "I haven't seen you in ages!" 

Kihyun scrunched up his eyebrows then slowly he spoke out, "Jung Eunbi!? I never thought of seeing you!" 

Before he could complete his sentence, the girl named Eunbi jumped at him, elgulfing him in a hug. Kihyun looked surprised at first then hugged her back. 

"You don't know how much I missed you. You, stupid asshole, how could you change your number!" Her voice told me she was on the verge of crying. 

"I'm sorry. My phone got stolen." Kihyun pulled away then smiled at her. "Oh, and these are my friends. Minjae, Jackson and you know Jooheon." 

Jooheon waved at her and then Kihyun turned to us. "And guys this is Eunbi, my friend from high school." 

"Really nice to meet you." She greeted us politely. "Sorry for the drama I just caused. I'm just so excited seeing him after like three years!" 

"It's okay." I assured her as I checked her out a little. She had a nice body and a really cute face. She felt like a nice girl too. 

"Why don't you guys go and catch up with each other?" Jooheon suggested and Jackson agreed. "We are fine here by ourselves. You should go and talk to your old friend." 

"Really? Thank you so much for lending him!" Eunbi screeched then looked at Kihyun. "Now you deserve some scolding from me." 

She pulled him away by hand as Kihyun gave us a defeated look. "That girl still has a lowkey crush on him," Jooheon commented as soon as they were gone from our sight. 

"Still?" I asked. 

"Yeah. She was head over heals for him back in high school, we all knew about it." 

"Whoa, that's lucky for him. That girl looks fine." Jackson whistled and I nodded, agreeing. 

"You guys want any drinks? Imma go and get some." Jooheon suggested while jumping up and down to the music. 

"I have a photoshoot tomorrow so, nope!" Jackson responded. "None for me too," I replied. 

"I'll be back soon. My other friend Hoshi is here too," Jooheon said after checking a text on his phone. 

Soon only Jackson and I were there and our crazy dance battle begun. Since he was professional anyway I told him to go easy on me. At the end, we were just mimicking animal moves that could go with the music. Anyone would say that we were a bunch of psychos who had just escaped a mental hospital. 

Inside my mind, I kept thinking of other things. That girl called Eunbi, was she Kihyun's type? Soyou was more mature but they both were cute and girly. Which I'd never be. 

_Heck, he didn't even know I'm a girl!_

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Later Jackson introduced me to his friends, his list of friends that were never ending. The funniest was the guy named Namjoon who taught me his famous 'seaweed' dance. 

However, our fun time vanished when Jooheon suddenly came back, his face pale like chalk. 

"Oh my god! What happened to you!" I held him from the side since he looked like he couldn't even keep his balance. Jackson got worried too. 

"I just drank a little a-and I threw up." He slurred on his word, gagging as if he would throw up again. 

"I think we should go home," Jackson said and looked at me. I quickly agreed. 

"Can you walk? Then you can go and wait in the car, we are coming back after finding Kihyun," Jackson asked him and he nodded slowly before scurrying away in the crowd again. 

"Let's quickly find Kihyun," I suggested, we both started towards the corner where Eunbi said they would be. But it'd been hours already so I wondered if they were still there. 

There was a VIP sofa there and we had to make our way through a lot of people. Finally we reached it, it was dark and no one was actually there. Until I'd found them. 

I couldn't see Kihyun's face at first as Eunbi's back was blocking my view. It seemed like Kihyun was sitting down and Eunbi was on top of him. 

My hands started trembling, I grabbed Jackson's arm in horror. They still hadn't noticed we were there. 

They were kissing, more like smooching each others faces off.

With Eunbi's head parted to the side, Kihyun with his eyes closed. Eunbi had her arms all over him and I just couldn't watch no more. My grip on Jackson's shirt got tighter. 

Suddenly Kihyun pushed her away and got up with a startled look, seeing us. His face was all red and flustered. 

However, Eunbi couldn't even stand still, she was swaying back and fourth. "Oh, hi!" She waved her hands at us, completely drunk. 

"It's not what you think!" Kihyun protested before I could ask anything. 

"J-jackson hyung, can you take me home?" I managed to whisper. My head was spinning, it felt like I would actually black out any second. My mouth felt really bitter, like a bile was rising in my throat. 

"Sure. Let's go." Jackson removed my hand from his arm and locked his hand with mine. "Kihyun, your friend seems really drunk, you should take her home," he added before we started towards the back door. 

"Wait I-!" Kihyun couldn't complete his sentence, Eunbi fainted and fell on the sofa. Giving them a last look, I continued walking, holding Jackson's hand. I didn't know what I was feeling. 

We reached the car without saying another word. Jooheon was already sleeping in the back seat. Jackson started the engine and took the wheel. 

We were both quiet until Jackson spoke first, in a really low voice, his eyes were still on the road. "Minjae, do you like Kihyun?" 

He then looked at me for a second, giving me a closed mouth smile. "It's okay, you can tell me. There's nothing wrong with a boy liking another boy." 

"I don't," I said wryly, then rested my head on the seat of the car. 

I really didn't like him. Not at all.


	21. Confirming

**YOO KIHYUN**

****

****

"Minjae, yesterday—" 

"I know. She was drunk," Minjae said in a calm manner, concentrating on cleaning the gaming CDs. "Is she fine now?" 

"Yeah, probably. I'm off to see if she's okay," I answered hesitantly. I didn't know why I was feeling so restless, I wanted to explain everything to Minjae.

Last night, I happened to meet my old friend Eunbi. We were just chatting about old stuff while she kept on drinking. I never guessed she wouldn't be able to hold the liqueur, becoming completely drunk after just having two glasses of beer. 

I wanted to take her home but she suddenly got on top of me and started making out forcefully. When I pushed her off, I saw Minjae and Jackson there watching it all happen. 

I didn't know if Minjae was angry now, he looked calm. Though, why would he be angry about it anyway? It was not like we had something going on between us. 

_For God's sake he was a guy and I was not gay._

__

__

"You don't have classes today?" I asked realizing that everyone else had left for college but only he was there doing the house chores. I didn't attend the two lectures I had today since Eunbi texted me saying that she was feeling sick. Moreover, I was the one who took her home yesterday, so I felt the responsibility to check if she's alright. 

"No, my professor got sick. So his classes got cancelled," he replied. 

"Oh. Will you be fine by yourself?" 

"Yeah." He shrugged and went away giving me a small smile. I didn't want to leave him all alone, maybe I'd just check on Eunbi and quickly get back home. 

I took my car and it took around thirty minutes to reach the place Eunbi told me to meet up. It was hot outside, putting on my sunglasses, I stepped outside the car. Eunbi was standing on the side of the street, she waved happily after seeing me. 

"You look okay." I approached her then put down my sunglasses. "Why did you say you felt sick?" 

"I knew you wouldn't have come otherwise!" She quickly linked her arm with mine. "Now let's go. I couldn't talk to you much yesterday. There's this really good pastry shop—" 

"Wait, just wait." I stood still as she was trying to drag me with her. "Do you remember what you did last night?" 

"What did I do?" She slowly raised an eyebrow. "I didn't throw up on you, I am sure of it!" 

"Great, thanks for not doing that," I said a little sarcastically but was actually quiet happy knowing that she didn't have a clue about about what had happened last night. It would've been so awkward if she remembered. 

Though why was it that I felt nothing about her making out with me. Last time when a little lip touching with Minjae happened, I totally freaked out.

Maybe it had to do something with Minjae being a guy. Then why did I I keep on worrying what Minjae thought when he saw Eunbi kissing me. _Something's weirdly wrong with me._

__

__

The little bell above the pastry shop chimed as we entered. Girls really seemed to like sweets. Eunbi ordered muffins and cocoa for us and then we sat down. 

"You're paying for this. Okay?" She demanded. 

"Okay," I answered while scanning the shop and the other pastries that were decorated under the glass. It seemed like there were lots of flavours, some of them not even sweet. _Maybe I could buy those for Minjae since he didn't like sweet pastries._

__

__

He was all alone at home. What if he got sick like last time? I checked the time on my phone as I kept tapping my feet against the floor continuously. 

"Yah!" Suddenly my phone was snatched from my hands. I looked up to find Eunbi scowling at me. "You can get busy with your phone later. Can't we have a conversation now?" 

"Okay, okay. What do you want to talk about?" I took in a deep breath trying to calm myself down, and to stop thinking about Minjae for a second. 

"Hm." She put her elbow up on the round table, putting her chin on it she tried thinking a little. "Are you dating anyone?" 

I rolled my eyes at her. "Nope," I replied. 

"Then have a crush on someone?" 

Soyou? But I didn't know what changed inside me, I didn't feel that much attracted to her the past days. What was more confusing was I kept asking myself if I ever really liked her all these years or if I just liked her personality. Because she seemed a total opposite of me, she was like an idol to me when I was little. 

"No," I replied again. 

"Oh." Eunbi parted her mouth a little. "You know I met Mrs Yoo, your mom few months ago. I missed her so much. She said she missed me a lot too. She even came to my house and we talked for a while." 

"Oh, really?" I asked this time checking the shop's wall-clock unconsciously. Eunbi might have met my mom three months ago when mom came to Korea. But mom hadn't told me that she met Eunbi. Perhaps she forgot about it. 

"And she told me about everything. I said I was going to Paris too so I can complete my graduation there. It felt like fate you know! She was saying the same thing. Yah! Kihyun! Are you even listening?" 

I snapped back from my daze. "Ah, yeah. What were you saying?" 

She let out a sigh looking down then looked up at me. "Yoo Kihyun, You have changed a lot." 

"In what way?" 

"I remember what I did last night," she suddenly said. "I kissed you, I remember that." 

It took me a moment to grasp what she was talking about looking so serious. I could feel the awkwardness coming and I didn't want it among us. 

"You were drunk," I stated simply. 

"But I know what I was doing." Eunbi looked into my eyes, hers teary. In fact, she looked like she was going to cry anytime. "Why do you act so clueless?" 

"Are you okay Eunbi?" I tried to touch her shoulder but she slapped my hand away. 

"I've been liking you all these years. When we were in high school everyone knew about it but you were totally clueless!" She looked away carefully touching the skin underneath her eyes. 

"I knew," I said, feeling guilty, I used to like Soyou back then. And I thought of Eunbi as a friend, nothing else. "But I used to like someone that time." 

"You did? Well, atleast you knew." She let out a dry laugh then shook her head. "This just got emotional, I'm sorry." 

"It's okay." I chewed on my inner cheek a little. "But even now, I can't date you Eunbi." 

"Why? You said you don't like anyone, nor are you dating someone." 

"Yeah. But I'm not sure," I stated resting my body against the chair. "I have this complicated feelings towards someone. Overall, I'm not ready." 

"Are you turning down my confession now?" She asked without showing any kind of expression on her face. 

I stayed silent, waiting for an impact to happen but she suddenly burst out laughing. 

"I didn't even confess to you, you narcissist jerk! You're still the same!" She kept on laughing, I was baffled at first but then joined in her laughter. 

"Who would even like you?" She exclaimed, her cheeks going red. Slowly her laughter faded away but she was still smiling. 

_I'm really sorry Eunbi._

__

__

***

**CHOI MINJAE**

****

****

Taking the books of the study room to myself, I piled them all up by my side. I needed a shower after sweating so hard and doing so much work. I looked around, still a lot of chores to do. 

No one even ordered me to do anything. I was a worker of this place anyway hence it was my duty. Also I wanted to keep my head clear, that's why I kept myself busy. 

I didn't want to think about him, I really didn't. Without even realizing, I looked up to check the clock hanging on the wall. Almost been two hours since he had gone outside to meet Eunbi. 

_Not that I cared._ I willingly fell on my back then sat on the ground. Feeling angry at myself for thinking about that moron again.

He could just do whatever. Go up to girls and kiss them. Not my business either waym I hated how I kept on thinking about last night. 

_Then why did he kiss me the other day, why did he hold my hand, say stuff that I would misunderstand._

__

__

For the first time in my life, I actually thought a boy might've liked me. And now I felt stupid. Who would like someone like me?

I hated him. And I hated myself for thinking about him all day. 

Lazily pulling my body to get up, I started working again. 

_Just keep your mind off him. Don't think about that stupid guy._

__

__

"Minjae!"

Oh god, please let this be a dream. I didn't want to see him now. 

I turned around and Kihyun was actually there by the door. Huffing for air as if he just ran all his way here. 

"You came back early—" I couldn't say much as he quickly walked up to me in a blink of an eye. 

Before I could do anything he wrapped a hand around my waist tightly then pushed me back until a table hit me from behind. Then he smashed his lips on mine without any kind of warning. 

He started kissing me roughly, holding my waist with one hand, his other hand touching my cheek. I couldn't breath, I couldn't even break apart from his hold. He was just too strong. 

I used all my might pushing him away just after a second the impact happened. I could feel my cheeks going hot as I quickly covered my lips with a hand watching him in horror. "What the hell are you doing!" 

He came to me again and I pushed him away. There was no way to escape, I never even knew he was this strong. 

"I need to confirm," he said in a raspy voice staring at me. 

"Confirm what?" I snapped still covering my mouth with my hand, though he wasn't trying to do what he did just earlier again. 

"Confirm that I like you." 

What the hell was he talking about? "You don't like me. Now stop doing things to me! Kissing me whenever you want? Do you actually think I don't have any feelings? Just because I act all happy and normal, you think these type of acts of yours don't bother me?" 

I felt my eyes stinging, water threatening to fall. This was too much. I couldn't control it anymore as tears started falling down my cheeks. Hanging my head low, I gave up. 

"You're crying?" He gasped coming towards to touch me, I pushed him away again but this time lightly since all my strength was drained. 

"Go away." 

"I won't," he said softly then touched my cheek, but way gentler then before. My tears kept on falling, I didn't even bother to look at him. He could just do whatever he wanted.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you. But I'm hurting a lot inside too. This is just so weird, I have never felt like this before. I keep getting confused. And now you are crying in front of me, it really pains so much to see you like this," he murmured wiping a tear off my cheek. 

"You can kiss me," I said a little annoyed. "If that ends your confusion, then I dare you to kiss me."

I looked up into his eyes and those dark orbits were staring at me. I immediately flushed red, _what the heck did I just say._

__

__

"But that would hurt your feelings—" 

"Shut up." I pulled him by his shirt's collar, lightly pecking him on the lips, I let go right the next second. 

_What the hell did I just do?_

__

__

I was having no control over my emotions, my words or whatever I was doing. He stared at me wide eyed, surprised. Suddenly I felt so embarrassed, I wanted the ground to just rip apart and swallow me in it. 

"You are way more wilder then I'd thought," he mumbled still looking awed. Now I wanted to run away but my legs were glued to the floor. 

Out of the blue, he let out a soft chuckle, next second I felt him picking me up. I screeched a little while he made me sit on the table then put both his hands by my sides. I could directly look into his eyes since we were on the same eye level. 

There was only a little distance between us, I could actually feel him breathing. My heart was beating so loudly, I thought it would burst inside my ribcage. But what made me more nervous yet happy was, I could hear the sound of his heartbeat too. 

And I could tell he was feeling the same thing as me. 

He leaned in and our lips touched each others. This time he wasn't forceful but really gentle. I kissed him back, it felt like I was tasting the sweetest thing on earth. Even though I hated sweets I couldn't help but love this sweetness. 

I wrapped my arms around his neck, touching his soft hair. _Who says magic doesn't exist? It exists, I could feel something magical happen in my heart._ But at the same time I wanted to cry for no reason. 

"I like you. I really like you Minjae," he whispered slowly between our kisses.


	22. A secret date

**YOO KIHYUN**

****

****

I couldn't remember the last time I was this happy. Even though I couldn't sleep all night, my morning felt refreshed.

_God, it felt great to like someone and get over with the confusion._

__

__

Wondering if Minjae had woken up too, I scurried towards the living room, only to find him sitting up straight on the couch like a robot. 

"Minjae!" I chirped happily approaching him. He quickly took a look at me, then got up. 

"Ah hyung, you're awake." He kept on looking everywhere else but me. I tried to make an eye contact moving my head to everywhere his eyes were moving. Giving me a flustered look, he got up and started walking away. 

"Where are you going!" I shoute, making the small one stop in his tracks and turn around. 

"T-to sleep." 

"You didn't sleep all night?" No wonder he looked so tired. 

"I did, I mean." He shrugged a little, again avoiding to meet my eyes. 

"Then it's good. Let's go somewhere today." I stretched out my arms, letting out a small yawn. "Get ready in five minutes." Without giving him a chance to reply, I went back to my room.

Last night, I kept on thinking where we could go for our dates. Movies, amusement parks looked romantic but I wanted to try something different. 

And now I was wondering why the hell was I acting like a girl in love? 

Maybe getting a lover does that thing to you. Or a boyfriend. 

_Hell, I have a boyfriend?_

__

__

I'd never thought I would turn out to be gay, I was loving it.

But my parents might disown me if they found out I was dating a guy. Honestly, I was too afraid to think what would people think of me when they would knos but again, I also felt like I didn't even care. 

Grabbing my jacket, I returned to the living room. "Where are we going?" Minjae gave me a confused look although he looked like he was ready too.

"You need to tie your scarf, it's pretty cold outside." I went closer to him, then made a knot with his muffler gently. When I looked up he was blushing red. It was so hard to hide my smirk seeing that. His face was actually as bright as the red beanie he was wearing on his head.

We took our seats in the car, I put on his seatbelt before he could try doing it himself. And again his face became red. 

"Are you hungry Minjae?" I steered the wheel as I spoke. 

He only nodded as an answer, while looking outside the window. "What do you wanna eat?" I asked again.

"Pizza. Oh wait, it's only morning!" He slumped down in his seat more as he replied. 

"Pizza it is then." I smiled a little thinking this would be my first time having pizza early in the morning. I would've never approved if it was before, but now I wanted to experience every little thing with Minjae. 

"I-if other hyungs were here too, it would be so fun!" 

I pushed the break right in front of a restaurant that was just opening up. Feeling irritated a little bit, since this was a date he didn't have to mention others here. Tsk!

"We can have fun by ourselves." 

"Okay," he meekly said, following my steps outside the car. Was I too harsh?

"I mean, a date should be between two people you know," I mumbled opening the entrance door for him to go first. He gave me a wide eyed look. 

"D-DATE?" 

The next few seconds were silent with us just staring at each other. "Just go inside already," I said, not being able to reply anything else. 

We ordered the food and not only Minjae was looking embarrassed, it was same from my side too. I kept on touching the cold metal of the earring on my right ear, for some reasons, my face felt hot. 

It was getting a little awkward, not the type of awkwardness I'd hate but it was still uncomfortable. The pizza was served before us after fifteen to twenty minutes, the waiters giving us a weird look, probably for ordering pizza at eight in the morning. 

"Hyung," Minjae suddenly said, shuffling with the slice of pizza he had in his plate. "Are we dating?" 

I started choking on my food, I never thought he would ask that to my face. He got up and started patting my back with a worried look on his face so I gestured that I was fine to him. 

After calming down a bit, I cleared my throat. "Yeah. We are. I thought that I'd made it pretty clear last day." 

We both looked away as I mentioned last day. _Why was this so embarrassing?_

__

__

"But hyung, you never said that you—" 

"Eat!" I shoved a slice of pizza into his mouth before he could continue. He gave me a surprised look then started chewing on the food. 

He's right. How could I not think about it? I actually hadn't asked him out yet. 

"Look Minjae," I sighed trying to look as calm as possible, staring straight into his eyes. "I.., no, if we both like each other, shouldn't we date anyway?" 

"When did I say that I like you?" He scrunched up his eyebrows. 

_What?_

__

__

"You don't like me!?" I was almost having a heart attack. What the hell was I doing here then? Why the hell then I got excited by myself? 

Minjae didn't answer and looked around. I did the same and found out that the small amount of people that were here in the restaurant, all of them were staring at us. 

Now I wanted to bury myself alive. 

A sudden sound of chuckling made me snap my head towards at Minjae. He looked like he was having the time of his life. "You're so stupid, hyung!" 

"That's my line. Don't you dare steal it!" I frowned while speaking. 

_Did that mean he liked me? Or did it not?_

__

__

"Hyung, what if others find out that we're dating?" He suddenly said, making me startled but then relief washed over me. "I don't know if we should date really." 

His face looked worried, honestly I was worried too. Though whatever would happen, I didn't want to lose him. "Let's not think about that now. How's the pizza?" 

"Ooh! I still haven't touched it!" He exclaimed then started eating it like he hadn't eaten for his life. With all his munching sound, and making a mess in his plate and of course, his face. I couldn't help but laugh at the cutesy. His way of eating was childish but I had always found it cute. 

***

My arms felt sore for driving so long. I moved my neck around, making a cracking sound, closed my eyes shut to relax for a bit then opened them again. It was noon and we were finally here. 

Minjae had been sleeping all this time. T I took a look at him and he was in deep slumber. "Minjae?"

I spoke slowly but he didn't move. "Minjae, wake up." Again I called him but he was still sleeping. 

His face was turned to my side, reclining on the headrest, so I could see his facial features clearly. His eyelashes are so long. His cheeks looked a little chubby, I couldn't fight the urge to poke it. 

"Minjae?" I called his name playfully while poking on his cheek. It was so soft, and pluml. "Wake up," I crooned, then laughed at myself. 

His soft hair was falling over his forehead, I wanted to touch it too but didn't at last. How could a guy's face be so innocent? 

Heaving a sigh, I looked away. This was crazy, no, I was crazy.

He was looking so pure, I had this thought of doing something to him. All I want to do was touch him whenever I saw him. _Jesus Christ!_

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__

I mentally scolded myself. Now I didn't want to look at the one sleeping peacefully beside me. He wouldn't keep liking me if he knew what went through my mind sometimes. 

_Dsgusting. I should just get some fresh air and calm my raging hormones._

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__

"Where are we?" A sleepy voice spoke while I was trying to get out the car. "What is this!" He screamed before I could say anything. 

"Oh my god! Is this a dream?" He shouted real loud then the next second, he opened the car's door and started running towards the sea. "Oh my god!!" 

He kept on screaming, I tried to catch up to his speed but he was way too fast. I'd never seen him this happy, all I could do was laugh as he kept on running by the shore. 

"This is the best day of my life!" Minjae shouted looking back at me, this time going backwards as the sea was touching his feet. He had the biggest smile on his face. 

"Yeah, but be careful." 

As soon as I had finished my sentence he fell on his back like a kid. Then he started giggling aloud. "Yay!" He tried to throw some salt water at me as he was sitting on the mud. 

"God, get up." I scoffed pulling him up. "Hold my hand so you don't fall again." 

He gave me a weird look as I was holding my hand towards him. "What?" I asked, rolling my eyes. 

"Nothing." He grabbed my hand tightly and we started walking by the shore together this time. Although Minjae wasn't walking, he was dancing, as well as singing a children's song. 

"You know your mental age is ten right?" I stated the obvious thing and he chuckled hard. 

"Then you're a pedophile for liking a ten years old." 

"You sneaky little—" I ruffled his hair, making it turn into a complete mess. 

"Catch me." He slipped away from my grip and started running, following the footsteps we had just made behind. 

"Wait, you!" I was pretty tired and didn't want to run with him but I couldn't help myself. Even though I pretty much knew I'd never be able to catch him. He kept on looking back, making funny faces at me as he ran. That's what you get for dating a half crazy guy. 

There wasn't anyone at this side of the sea but us. It was afternoon, the sea water looking yellow like the sun. Thankfully Minjae had gotten tired soon and stopped running. I was out of breath long ago. 

"I'm hungry." He whined, I didn't say anything and brought a basket out of the car's trunk. 

"All of these are dry snacks. Judging by your appetite, I'm surprised you didn't say you're hungry earlier." 

"Aww," he cooed like I was a baby. "You know everything about me, you're so cute!" 

I gave him a weird look, and then continued staring at the sea resting my body against the car. "When are we going back?" He asked, gulping down a bottle of orange juice. "I want to see the sunset." 

"Then let's go after sunset." I snatched the bottle away from him and started drinking from it. He gave me a surprised look which soon got replaced with a flustered one. 

"So?" A lopsided smirk showed up in my face as I touched my lips with the back of my hand. Minjae's eyes got wider than before. 

"You pervert." 

"What? I didn't do anything." I said in a playful tone. "You know what? Your mind is dirty." 

He smacked on my chest while I laughed it off. 

The sun started setting, making everything go quieter and darker, but the beauty was breathtaking. We stayed silent, only the sound of the waves crashing on the shore could be heard. 

Until Minjae spoke in a soft tone. "Hyung, I have something to tell you." 

"What?" I was staring ahead as I replied. There was no answer coming so I turned to him. 

He looked like he was in pain, there was a mixture of many emotions written on his face, which I couldn't fathom. "Do you hate liars?" 

"Are you alright? Do you feel sick?" I said in a worried tone holding his arm. Why was he suddenly acting like that? He was fine even a minute ago. 

"Just answer my question," he murmured, looking down. 

I licked my dried lips thinking hard what he was trying to imply here. "I do." 

"Oh." He formed an 'o' with his mouth then looked up at my eyes. "Let's go home." 

Even though he was smiling, I could tell it was fake. And that he actually felt like crying, because I'd seen him cry a lot of times before. 

Yet I didn't ask anything. He probably didn't want to talk about it. But the whole road back home he was silent. I couldn't rest thinking what he actually wanted to say.


	23. Coming out

**IM CHANGKYUN**

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****

"Where were you yesterday?" I asked as I took a sit on the couch. Minjae rolled his eyes, still half lying on the other sofa. 

"Nowhere." 

"Yeah? But you and Kihyun disappeared at the same time," I stated, a smirk slowly starting to spread across my face. "I'm sure you guys did something, went somewhere togeth—" 

"Shut it!" Minjae screeched, sprinting up from her lying position. "You're dead wrong!" 

"Eh, really? Tell me the truth, come on! Amuse me a little." I teased making a frown appear on her face. She stayed silent. 

"You did!" I clapped my hands together, realizing that something indeed was going on between them. "Whatever you do though fam, always use protection." 

"Oh my god!" She screamed and started throwing cushions at me. 

"What? I just gave a friendly advice!" I tried blocking all the hits but one cushion did hit me on the face. "Where did you guys go? Are you like, dating now?" 

Minjae's face became redder, her mouth slightly parted, forming an o. Then she started screaming and groaning, twisting the upper half of her body as she held both of her ears so she wouldn't hear me anymore. It felt like a demon had possessed her, probably too much embarrassment could do that to one. 

"You're going to wake everyone up like that."

"I'm not hearing you. Blah blah blah." She started rambling words like a baby. 

"Argh, okay I won't ask anymore. Have you told him the truth?" 

"What truth?" Jooheon yawned, taking steps inside the living room approaching us. "Why are you guys like, screaming at eight in the morning?" 

"Just because," Minjae and I quickly replied in unison. 

"Minjae, weren't we just talking about watering the plants together? Let's do it now," I suggested hurriedly raising up from the couch. Minjae did the same without another word. 

"When did you start liking watering plants?" Jooheon stretched out his arms, his body lazily resting against the sofa. 

"You know how much I love plants." I shrugged it away, I could see his eyes shutting off, losing himself in the world of sleep again. 

Minjae and I quietly left the room and went outside without waking him up. "He has the worst timings," I retorted before I got back to what I was saying back there. "So, have you told him?" 

Minjae looked uncomfortable, she slowly rubbed her arm with her other hand staring ahead. "I mean, I tried." 

"You haven't tried enough." Just one look at her and I could tell that she hadn't. But I could also feel how hard it was for her. 

Apparently, lying or hiding something don't always seem bad. You do it for your own good, you do it again, and again. And you get caught in the spider web. That's when it becomes the hardest to get out. Because you're trapped, including everyone around you. 

"He said he hates liars." She looked into my eyes, hers lost and hopeless. I could see how her own lies had been making her suffer. 

Even though, when I saw her earlier today she looked fine, now I could tell it was all a facade. She probably didn't sleep all night and kept thinking about it. 

A small sigh escaped my mouth, I thought I wouldn't affect me much for whatever would happen in their relationship but now I felt a little worried.

"If you're thinking that you're hurting inside can you even feel how much Kihyun is suffering? He's probably stressed out but acting all fine outside. He thinks he is gay, it was surely hard for him to come out." 

I couldn't imagine how he felt, he must had been in so much difficulties when he started developing feelings for Minjae. 

Minjae bit her trembling lips, she looked like she was on the verge of crying but she held herself back. Truly I'd never seen her like this before. _Gosh, both of them were idiots._

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"Look, Minjae. I know you think he'll hate you if you tell him. But he will forgive you soon too, I'm sure of that. He would probably need time. Just thinking of himself as gay when he's straight as a frigging lamp post shows how much he likes you." 

"B-but I'm afraid. I know, I am going to tell him. I can't hide this forever!" She said in a breathless voice, hitching on her words. "But not just him, I'm afraid others will hate me too. I..., I just can't bring myself to say the truth." 

I felt a pinch sadness spreading in my heart as she said what she'd felt about the truth. I wish I could tell Kihyun or everyone, but that would just make her a bigger liar. That's why, she needed to come out herself and tell everyone that she was actually a girl. 

"It will be okay." I put my hand over her head and started stroking her head gently. "Every one of us likes you, thinks of you as our friend. You're like one of us and your real identity wouldn't change that. They'll understand if you try and explain your situation. Like take me for example, I wasn't angry at you." 

"But you figured it out by yourself, from the start." She forced a smile on her face as she said. 

"I'm the most genius of them all, of course. No, wait, they are just plain idiots."

***

"Um, what the hell are you doing here?" I asked in a monotonous tone. I wasn't expecting Byul to show up in the convenience store with a packet of chips and a bottle of banana milk in her hands when she acted like a princess all the time.

"What? To eat!" She hissed at me. "Seems like you're here to eat dinner too." She pointed at the cup of ramen in front of me.

"Aren't you guys like the prince or something? Don't you have a chef? Or did your company go broke?" she jeered

"I could ask you the same thing, shorty." I started slurping down the hot noodles. 

"I'm not shorty. For your information I'm 167 centimeters." She placed the straw in her banana milk, rolling her eyes as she talked. This girl just can't help but amuse me without knowing it herself. 

"But you're a shorty to me. Have you seen the height difference?" I blew a whistle showing off the difference between our heights. I really wanted to piss her off. 

"Whatever helps you sleep at night. Five year olds these days," she said it as if she was speaking to herself. 

Now she was getting on my nerves. Though I kind of liked that attitude right there. 

"How's Minjae?" She asked suddenly, as if she just remembered it, her eyes sparkling in excitement. 

"Fine. I think she's dating Kihyun, though she won't tell me. Did she tell you?" I concentrated on the food but from my side vision I could see her getting shocked for a second. She regained her posture soon. 

"Yeah.. Ah, no. Really? That's amazing!" She started laughing loudly, real loud all of a sudden. I stopped eating and watched her giggling by herself. 

"So, ah why were you here?" She tried changing the topic looking somewhere in the distant.

"What? To eat." I repeated her answer from several minutes ago. She blinked a few times then nodded. 

"Me too. I had a violin class, that place is pretty close from here." Her banana milk rested on the table as she was fiddling with the straw, seemingly absent minded. 

"You play violin? That's cool." For the first time she was actually talking about something other than the topic being Minjae. I complimented her but she didn't look like she'd heard it.

"Do you like Minjae?" 

Byul flinched hearing my question. Staring at me with a blank expression, which got replaced with a surprised one the next second. "Why would you think that. What in the world!" 

"There's nothing wrong with being gay. I won't judge you based on your sexuality." 

From the day I'd met her I'd felt that she liked Minjae. Now I was pretty sure. 

"I'm not gay. Stop assuming things. Acting you're all clever and stuff," she said with her voice trembling, immediately leaving the store after quickly paying her bill. 

I followed her doing the same. For the matter that she didn't look okay, at all, and now she had started walking in the night streets of Seoul. People in a state like her could commit anything in a whim. 

"Hey, wait." I tried catching up to her but she was walking fast, avoiding me calling her out. So I took some rushed steps and caught her arm right before she started crossing a road that had red lights on. 

"Can you stop? For God's sake, leave me alone now!" She yelled, pulling her arm out of my grip. 

"Okay, I'm not assuming anything and I'm not going to ask you anything. I just followed you because you looked sick there." I huffed for air as I answered. 

"I like her. Alright? I do liked her!" She emphasized the word 'liked' loudly. Even though I hadn't asked anything she was yelling by herself. The look she was giving me easily gave away how frustrated, angry she was. 

"I liked her, because I didn't know she was a girl, okay? I didn't know she was a girl!" 

"Calm down, please." I almost begged seeing her going insane. 

"She used to come by our house to deliver newspapers. A year ago, I first saw her, then I woke up at 5 am everyday and stood at the balcony to see her. I've studied in an all girl's school all my life. So it was my first time liking someone, whom I thought was a guy." She started blabbering, tears forming in her eyes, then they started to pour down. 

"It's okay. Let's go sit somewhere and talk about it, but you would want to calm yourself down first." I started walking holding her arm tightly in my hand. She was following my steps like a lifeless doll, still rambling on by herself. 

"B-but you know I followed her one day. I went to every doorstep she went, she threw the newspapers at their lawns. I hid myself behind the walls and watched it all for an hour. Couldn't bring myself to go and talk to her. And then one day I encountered a scene, her aunt was there to visit her." 

I could hear sounds of weeping from my back this time, I could tell that she had just broken down in tears. And I couldn't bring myself to watch. So I stared ahead and continued walking like that, slowering my pace a little. 

"I.., I a-accidentally heard what they were saying. Her aunt was furious because of the way Minjae's been living and she was scolding her for no reason. I couldn't believe what I'd heard." 

"But then I thought about it, and it actually fit the broken puzzle. That she was never a guy to begin with. I should've realized it sooner." Byul kept on crying, now like a baby, leaving pained screams as if her insides were shattering into pieces. 

Thankfully it was only us in this part of the street. Taking in a large intake of air, I turned around to meet the weeping mess. She was holding her face with both her hands as she was crying. 

"You're upset because even after finding out she's a girl you can't help liking her, right?" 

Byul didn't answer and kept on crying. 

"You know that it's not wrong liking someone as the same gender as you?" 

Again, she didn't answer but only the sounds of whimpering left her mouth. A little later, she spoke. 

"B-but I keep on trying to think that she's not actually a girl but a guy. I pray that would happen like a miracle someday. I'm the most horrible person on earth." 

"If I was in your place I would've done the same. So don't hate yourself for thinking like that." I went closer to her. For some reasons I wanted to hug her, so I did lightly. And she didn't resist. 

"Now stop crying. It doesn't suit you, you should be like those girls from that mean girls movie. Even though I act like I can't stand you, I'll admit that it's pretty hot." 

She let out a small giggle in the midst of crying. "Yeah and you can move now. I hate the scent of your cologne." 

"I know you like it." I laughed patting the small of her back gently. I didn't let go but I was surprised to the core when she suddenly hugged me back. 

"I'll admit that your smart ass is pretty hot too but you're not my type." 

"You aren't too, baby," I replied. It somehow made me laugh, how we were both badmouthing, dissing each other yet embracing each other at the same time. 

And it made me wonder why I'd seen two girls suffering in love the same day. Now I was hugging one of them, hoping that her heart would mend soon. I wanted her to feel warm and be loved by someone. 

And this feeling didn't taste bad at all. 


	24. The truth

**CHOI MINJAE**

****

"Did that guy tell you anything?" Byul asked in a low voice, making me wonder who she was talking about. 

"Who?" 

"T-that guy! That cocky moron, Changkyun," she stuttered, rolling her eyes in the meantime. 

"Oh, him. Nope, what would he say?" I tried my hardest to hide the curiosity which was growing inside me. She'd never asked anything about any of the boys before. 

"Nothing." She answered, simply rolling her lips inside her mouth.  
Just then Changkyun waved at us from afar. He came running to us but before he could come any closer Byul had already hidden behind me. Now I really wanted to know what the hell was going on between those two. 

"Where's your phone? I've been calling you for a while." Changkyun told me, taking a quick glance at Byul. 

"Kihyun asked me to go grocery shopping with him, it was our turn to buy this week. But I said I was busy, so you can go with him instead. If she doesn't mind though." He added and pointed at Byul with his eyes. 

"Of course, I don't mind. What are you implying here?" Byul scoffed coming out of my back. 

"I said that because you never share her with anyone. Don't need to get your tits exploding." He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. 

"Um, did something happen between you two?" 

"Nope!" They screamed in unison while shooting eye daggers at each other. _Great, just great how I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight for being way too curious._

__

__

"Come on, you guys are acting like you're datin—" 

"Just go already. Go to Kihyun, have a nice day. Text me all the steamy detail." She pushed me from the back, making me stumble a few steps forward. 

"Now you, you talk to me!" She went and grabbed Changkyun's arm. Giving me a quick smile and gesturing a bye, she dragged him away with her. 

That was unlike her. She would never agree letting me go somewhere with Kihyun, or anyone as a matter of fact. _And she'd been even talking to Changkyun? Was this really Byul?_

__

__

Trying to shrug those thoughts off, I pulled out my phone from my pocket. Kihyun's new text was glaring at me. 

"Do you want to go grocery shopping together?" 

Then there were two other from Changkyun. 

_"Yikes, you guys are like married couple already I'm gagging"_

__

__

_"Your friend Byul is picking a fight with me. Is it okay if I rip her hair off?"_

__

__

I was not worried about Byul, I was worried that Changkyun might go bald soon. 

Whistling a tune of my favourite pop song, I wore my jacket that was resting on my arm. _What do those people call their lovers again? BAE or something like that._

__

__

Today had to be a good day. 

I was afraid soon it would turn bad. Well, I would have to tell the truth someday, anyway. 

***

"Hmm, let's see. Some orange juice, meat, lots of chips, condo— What the heck! Who wrote this!"

Kihyun's face lost its color as he was loudly reading the list that was handed to us by the boys while we were at college this afternoon. 

"What? Let me see." I was pushing the cart forward but hearing him, I stopped. I tried to peek at the paper from behind but he moved away, ripping the list into pieces in the meantime. 

"I don't think your age is suitable to see this." 

"What do you mean, I'm 19," I scoffed, he always acted like I was a kid. 

"I'm talking about your mental age." He came forward and started pushing the cart with me. "I have memorised it anyway. Let's go buy some vegetable first." 

"Okay." I shrugged with my shoulders. "If there was something fishy written on the list I'm pretty sure it's Changkyun." 

"I'm kinda sure too. Let me push the cart, you can go and fetch everything," he suggested, pushing me a little to the side with his shoulder. 

"No! I like walking with the trolley!" I protested and he gave me a look. 

"See? That's why I call you a kid." 

"Argh, let's just walk with this together. You know what, you act like a kid sometimes too." 

He snarled at me as a response. "First, you say I'm a nagging mom, and now, you tell me I act like a kid, how's that possible?" 

"Okay, okay, let's stop, and calm down here. Do you want to buy nuggets next? I know you like chicken." I tried to sooth him down but mostly in a sarcastic way. He couldn't help but laugh at my fake agyeo. 

"You know what, you're just out of this world," he said, laughing as we were both walking side by side pushing the cart, our hands brushing each others. "Do you want anything? I'll buy it for you." 

"Me?" I pointed at myself. 

"Yeah. Is there anyone else?" He scrunched up his eyebrows making a funny face. 

"Why?" 

"Because you've been good." He ruffled my hair making it a complete mess then went towards a rack filled with bread. 

My smile faded away, it felt like a pang of sadness just hit my chest. He wouldn't say that if he knew I'd been lying. 

"H-hyung? Can we meet up and talk tonight. Just us?" I said with my voice breathy, the insides of my palms sweating already just by thinking of it. 

"Yeah, of course." He turned his face towards me. "What do you want to talk about?" 

"You'll see. But promise me, you'll fully hear me out first. And won't hate me after that." 

"Why would I hate you?" He laughed at me as if this was a simple matter. "Just don't tell me you steal my chicken every night, I just can't find my midnight snacks in the fridge these days." 

"I think I know who does that, but don't ask me. I'm not ratting them out." 

"You know what Minjae, I'm not buying the cookies you just wanted now." He made a disappointed frown appear on his face as he put the box filled with cookies down. 

"Aww, hyung. That's not fair. Come on!" I pouted, blinking hard showing my eyelashes. "Pleese?"

"That doesn't suit you," he commented with a straight face on but then he went and came back with the box of cookies. "Here." 

"Yay!" I cheered happily hugging him but I let go right after, remembering that we were still in public. His face was red but he didn't say anything. 

"Let's go back now. We're all finished." 

We went towards the cashier and only while paying the bill, Kihyun remembered something. "I don't think we've brought ramen, Wonho will die if we go without them." 

"I'll fetch it!" I responded quickly dashing off in the crowd. Soon I found myself in front the rack-holders with sets of ramen. 

"Hmm, let's see. I should buy those Shin rame—" 

"Minjae!" 

My train of thoughts were interrupted when I heard someone calling out my name. I turned around to find a tall guy in a grey trenchcoat approaching me happily. 

I froze in my spot when I got to see their face and realize who it was.

"Oh my god, it is you! I haven't seen you in ages. How come you are still the same!" He shouted excitedly, observing me from head to toe. "Wait, you do remember me right? Or not..?" He said, a little hesitantly. "I'll be heartbroken if you say you don't remember me." 

"Sungjae," I murmured with my voice low but he seemed to hear it. 

"Yes, you remember! How come you left right after high school? Not even bothering to meet up and say your goodbyes, that really hurt me." 

_Why would I meet up with him and say goodbye when he was one of the reasons I couldn't wait to leave that hellhole._

__

__

"Are you still sad about what happened back then?" He asked all of a sudden. "You were acting alright, but later I figured that I'd been a real jerk. I wanted to apologize but you weren't there. I'm really sorry Minjae." 

He said in a sincere tone, this was my first time seeing him being so genuine. 

The guy I had this so-called crush back in high school wasn't like this. Yook Sungjae was as arrogant as a person could ever be and also the weirdest kid in class. Still he was a top student and a heartthrob in school. 

I didn't know what got into me to start building a crush over him. To the point, where I tried buying cheap girly dresses and makeup since I didn't have more money of my own. 

And, then, of course he made fun of me when I tried confessing. I would've accepted my fate if he kept it to himself but, no, he had to make me a laughing stock to the whole school. 

God knew just how many times I had imagined this guy as a punching bag and abused the shit out of him. 

"Minjae, are you alright?" He asked, softly touching my shoulder. 

I moved away putting on a small smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. It's nice to meet you after years! How are you now?" 

"Thanks God, I thought you were still angry about it!" He clutched his hand over his chest. "I'm so glad I could finally apologize! Just look at this coincident, I never thought I would meet you here in Seoul!" 

"Yeah," I replied, nodding a little. "It was really nice to hear that you felt sorry but I'm over it already. If it's okay with you, I need to go back at the counter." 

"No, it's okay!" He rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "B-but would you mind if we meet up and talk again, like, can I have your number?" 

"Who is he?" 

Kihyun's voice startled both of us. I hadn't realize when he had come from the back. "You were taking so long so I thought I would come too. Is he your friend?" He looked at Sungjae. 

"I know him from high school." I was praying in my mind so this conversation wouldn't go any forward. 

"Who are you?" Sungjae asked Kihyun instead. "Wait, Minjae. Is he your boyfriend? Are you dating now?" 

Kihyun and I shared a look with each other. "Yes, I'm his boyfriend. Do you have any problem with that?" 

Sungjae's mouth parted in awe, his face looking like he couldn't believe it. He was almost falling but then he grabbed a shelf to give himself balance. "M-minjae, you should've told me that earlier. No, how did you get a boyfriend! How could the girl I turned down in high school— and, look you're still the same. I mean, you didn't change yourself a bit!"

"Girl?" Kihyun looked at him as if he was insane. "Turning down? What are you talking about?" 

"Ask your girlfriend, she had a crush on me back in high school." 

"Girlfriend?" Kihyun looked surprised as he turned to me. "Minjae, what is he talking about?"

"I.., I can explain." I tried to maintain my composure but inside I was crumbling into bits. 

Kihyun stayed silent just staring at me for a while. "D-don't tell me you're actually—" 

"You didn't know Minjae was a girl?" Sungjae said before Kihyun could finish what he was saying. "I mean it looks like it. Man, don't tell me you didn't know." 

Kihyun gave him a lost look, before he punched Sungjae in the face hard, making him fall to the ground with him groaning loudly in pain. 

"Kihyun! What the heck are you doing?" I shouted holding his arm from the back but he jerked away. 

"Don't touch me!" 

There was pure anger in his voice before he left, leaving only me and Sungjae there.


	25. Pain

**YOO KIHYUN**

****

****

I couldn't believe he lied to me, that he hid such a big truth from me. 

_Or she, I didn't know what to call that person anymore, I didn't even think I knew him, anymore._

__

__

_Was her name really Minjae? Or was she lying about that too?_

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I felt something turning inside my stomach, my chest so heavy that it was hard to breath, a bile rising in my throat, leaving this bitter taste as I drove the car by myself. 

This was unbelievable, I'd never felt this fucking angry before. I wanted to break everything, hell, even getting into an accident wouldn't bother me now. 

Recklessly, I kept on steering the wheel, my veins popping out of my arms indicating how hard I was grabbing the wheel. _He tricked me, what if this was all a lie? What if he never liked me and just pretended it all?_

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_I even went all my way to call myself gay, for a liar._

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It was me. I was the one who was stupid. It never occurred to me that he could be a girl, but now his face when he said that he wanted to explain and that other guy at the store, those could all fit the unfinished puzzle. 

I pushed the break hard parking the car to a side, my teeth gritting in anger, my fists were made into balls by my sides. I could feel my nails digging into the flesh of my palms. 

_How could I be so stupid, how could I let that person fool me for days._

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I came outside the car and closed the door with a loud thud. Frustrated, I held my head with both my hands and just walked back and fourth on the side of the street alone. No one was there but me. I then went ahead and kicked a side of my car letting out a pained groan. 

I couldn't care how it was physically hurting outside because inside it was hurting like hell. I sat down on the ground all of a sudden. _I was such a fool._

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The thing that comes after anger was sadness and devastation, and then I wanted to cry. 

_None of this was true, none of her feelings were true._

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I didn't want to go home, I didn't want to see his or, her face. 

I didn't want to see her ever again. 

Standing up, I opened the car's door with force as I made up my mind to go anywhere else but home. 

***

I carefully creaked the door open, only to find Changkyun there with a grin on his face. He waved at me playfully before letting himself in. 

"How did you find me here?" 

I was surprised a little but didn't show it on my voice. He was always the smartest one among us. 

"You remember that last time when you had a fight with Hyungwon and you stayed the night here?" He showed me a cheeky smile as he took a sit on the bed. "This is comfym Man, I need to check into hotel suits more." 

He let himself fall on the king sized bed, with his arms and legs spread all over. I sighed a little and went to the bathroom to wash my face. 

Last night, all I could do was toss and turn, I couldn't sleep for a bit. As I washed my face with water I forced myself not to look at the mirror. I accidentally saw my face this morning and got scared, I freaking looked like a forty year old guy. 

"You know I hate your smart ass sometimes," I mumbled getting out of the washroom while rubbing my head with a fresh towel. 

"Well, apparently chicks dig that shit.'' He got up from the bed and we just stared at each other for a good moment. Even though he wasn't saying anything I kind of got what he wanted to say. 

"Don't tell me you knew." 

He stayed silent, giving me blank look. I couldn't believe this, so was it only me whom she was fooling? 

"You knew she was a girl? Wait, everyone knew but me?" I shouted, my voice louder than I expected it to be. The anger was again rising, blood starting to boil underneath my skin. 

"No, I only knew it. I kind of figured it out no one else—" 

"And you didn't fucking tell me! You didn't tell any of us and just helped her lie? Do you fucking know how much I suffered because of that lie?" 

"Man, calm down, listen to me—" 

"Shut the fuck up! You don't know anything." 

"I know everything." He threw his hands up in the air to stop me from yelling any further. "Just stop, I know it already, okay? I know that you suffered, and I know that you both like each other." 

I stayed quiet for a minute grasping it all, so he knew it all? Still he was supporting the one who lied? And he only knew her for a few months when we'd been friends since middle school. 

"Look, I know you must be really frustrated right now. Anyone would be if they were in your place. And I know you need time to think." 

"There's nothing to think about Changkyun. Did she send you to me? So you could console me and make me underst—" 

"No, she didn't even come home last night." This time he was the one stopping me from what I was saying. 

My heart fell to the bottom of my stomach. _Where did she spend the whole night then?_

__

__

She's a girl for god's sake and she didn't have anyone; _wait why was I being worried._

__

__

"What do you mean? Where is she now?" I asked him in a calmer tone. 

"She's at Byul's house. She told me not to meddle with your thoughts when I suggested it, she said you'll need time to yourself. She doesn't know that I'm here now and she's been really worried for you." 

Clenching my jaws I shut my eyes tight. "If she cares so much she should've told the truth from the start, or at least when I said I had feelings for her. I fucking said I was becoming gay and she still stayed quiet!" 

I could hear Chagkyun sigh as my eyes were still closed. He continued after a while. "You do have a point there but have you ever thought about it from her perspective? Like she needed a job so she started working for us. We never talked to her before, did we? We've never asked her gender, we just assumed it." 

"Yeah, and she hid it, hiding is another form of lying." 

"But she would've lost her job if she told us her gender! We're not permitted to hire female workers, you know that. And then you were the one who gave her shelter, told her to stay with us because she had no other place to go. And she found a new family among us, and she didn't want to crumble that relationship. She wanted to tell the truth but she was just afraid to lose us, and mainly you. Can't you imagine how much that stressed herself?" 

I took in a large amount of air, opening up my eyes. "How do you even know she really is an orphan? How are you so sure of her true feelings about us?" 

"Please! You know it yourself very well. Now you're just making it complicated." For the first time he looked a bit pissed off as he said that. 

He was right, but it wouldn't wash my anger away. I couldn't forgive her. 

"Whatever, if you're here to just talk about that you can leave now. I want to stay alone for a while." 

"Fucking acting like a hypocrite," he murmured to himself but it was loud enough for me to hear. 

I didn't comment on it because it would start another fight and I was tired enough already. 

"Okay you know what? I'm leaving. Your phone was off so I wanted to tell you that your dad's been calling you since last night. And he's coming at the mansion in an hour to meet you, he said it was some important business." 

Saying it all in a breath, he left, shutting the door off with a loud bang, almost damaging my ears.

I tried to calm myself down. I couldn't meet dad like that, we only get to meet each other a few times every year. 

_I just wanted to leave this hellhole and go somewhere far away, where the worries wouldn't catch up to me._

__

__

I took in a quick shower and went outside the hotel. My shirt from last night was sweaty and I wouldn't be able to change it in such a short amount time when I get to the mansion. So I brought a new pair of shirt and casual pants from nearby mall. 

Quickly changing my outfit, I went inside the car, brushing my hair with one hand as my other hand was busy driving the car. 

I looked at myself using the car's mirror and yeah, 

_I still looked like shit._

__

__

Forty minutes drive and then I was there. I went running inside, the front door was opened for me. As I went inside the living room the first thing I saw was my dad laughing and having a conversation with Wonho. 

"Adios! You're finally here." Wonho beamed at me, dad stood up too with a big smile on his face. 

"Son! I missed you." He gave me a hug as I looked at Wonho from his back and I whispered. "Your broken Spanish wouldn't impress my dad. Now go away." 

Dad pulled me out of his hug, still smiling. "I think his Spanish is pretty good actually." 

Well there, he'd heard it. "Thank you uncle, I'll leave now." Wonho made a funny face at me and then left us alone to talk. 

"You look like shit," dad commented as we both took sits on the couch. "Your mom will worry if she sees you like this. Have you been eating well? Wait no, first you tell me why the hell was your phone turned off last night?" 

"I'm fine. I'm just tired and want to get some sleep. Are you here to stay for a while?" 

"No, I just wanted to give you an exciting news!" He suddenly got excited. "Your mom and I have decided on it, your childhood dream is finally coming true." 

"What are you talking about?"

"Paris! Remember you went there in a vacation with me when you were only twelve years old? You saw our brunch there and found it a fun place? You legit talked the whole week about it! Also your mother said that she'd met your good friend Eunbi and surprisingly Eunbi is going to study there too, so you won't be all alone." 

"Wait, what? Dad, breath first."

"All I'm saying is, you're going to finish your masters in college there, as well as be a CEO of that brunch in Paris!"


	26. To others

**CHOI MINJAE**

****

****

"Is that bitch for real?"

"You've said that for a hundred times now Byul." 

I heaved a deep sigh, rolling to the other side of the bed and my eyes met hers. She looked pissed off, as she had been since yesterday. 

"I just fucking can't with him. If I were in his place, I would be happy to find out I'm straight!" She yelled and faced upward, staring at the ceiling of her room that was filled with glowing stickers. 

It was morning and we have had breakfast already but I decided not to attend my classes so she didn't too. Even though I hadn't shown it on my face, I felt depressed and heartbroken. Somehow I suppressed the urge to cry yet. 

Since we had nothing else to do, we were just lying on the bed with Byul constantly scoffing, and me sighing. 

"It's okay Byul, he has all the right to be angry. H-he will be fine one day, right? I mean he'll forgive me?" 

The thing that scared me the most was the thought of him never talking to me again, would I be able to bear that?

"Since it's you, I'm sure he will." Byul was the one sighing now. "Hey, you're still in a better position than me."

"What?" I sprinted up from the bed. "You're dating someone? Why haven't I heard about it?" 

I started shaking Byul by her shoulders but she moved away, then lied down with her face smashed against her pillow. "No, I'm not. It's from a long time ago." Her voice came out muffled but I could still make out what she was saying. 

"Long time ago? Come on, I tell you everything. You've never told me about this." 

"Argh, it wasn't dating, I just liked that person," she said, deeply frustrated, still lying in that same position. 

"And..?" I trailed off with a questioning tone. 

"And they liked another person, so my crush ended there." 

We stayed silent for a bit, until I started talking again. "I'm sure your crush on that person didn't end just then and there." 

"Yeah," she replied in a softer tone. 

"Well, guess what? You'll get over it, you just have to find the right person. I used to like Shownu hyung so much, then I found out he had a girlfriend. We're same on this, aren't we?" I giggled a bit then continued. "But look, then I found Kihyun and now we..." 

I couldn't speak anymore. 

_We? Was there any 'us' anymore?_

__

__

Kihyun surely hated me now. For lying, hiding such a big fact. I was a selfish person for still wanting him. 

Tears had started to form in my eyes, I bit my lip and fought them back. "He'll surely call you, talk to you soon," Byul said and sat up from her position. 

"I never thought this day would come though, you finally seem like a girl,'' she added.

I couldn't help but let out a small laugh, she was actually quite surprised. 

"Just don't feel sad about it, okay? Laugh like that. I'm sure he'll call in a week or tw—" 

Just then my phone rang indicating that it was a text from someone. Byul and I glanced at each other first, then I hurrled our bodies towards the phone, as I opened it Byul peeked from my back with sheer curiosity, and started reading the text aloud. 

"I'm near Byul's house. Can we meet now?" 

The text was from Kihyun. 

I couldn't believe it, seemed like Byul couldn't too. There was a pin dropped silence in the room with just us frozen in our spots. 

"Oh my god! Go outside, now!" Byul screamed, breaking the icy silence and making me snap out of the daze.

"H-he texted me? This soon!?" 

"Shut up and wear your coat, bitch." Byul was running around the room, then she found my coat and threw it over to me. Jumping over the bed, she made her way closer and started rearranging my hair in a rush. 

"What? You look alright, go now," she shouted again, pointing to the door. Now I was fully back from my reverie. 

I got up to go outside but right before doing that, I turned around. "What if he's here to break up—" 

"Go, and find that out." She then threw my scarf at me and I caught it. Right before going outside. I saw Byul planting her face on her pillow again, letting out a groan. 

Perhaps she was just as anxious as me. But I was more afraid than anxious. 

My throat had already became dry by the time I'd stepped outside Byul's house. I wanted to run back and hide somewhere. 

All I could think was, he was here to end it. 

Still I kept on walking like a zombie, as if my mind was against it but my feet wasn't. Every step I took, my lower part of the body became heavier and heaviet but I still couldn't stop. 

Finally I saw him standing outside his car, waiting silently with his arms crossed over his chest. My heart dropped in my stomach, I wanted to go there and give him a sudden hug and say that I was sorry a million times. 

I didn't want to break up. I really liked him, a lot. 

It was so hard to fight back my tears, my vision was so blurry I couldn't half see. I made my fists into balls, my knuckles turning white for the amount of force. I tried calling out his name but he had already noticed that I was there. 

He looked away, biting his lower lip when I walked closer to him. We two were just standing there silently. 

"You know, I'm still angry at you," he muttered, looking away. 

"I haven't forgiven you. I don't know if I—" he trailed off and I was still quiet, I couldn't bear to look at him. 

"Why aren't you saying anything!" He shouted a little angrily and I tried speaking, but words weren't coming out properly. 

"I..I'm.. Sorry." 

"Sorry doesn't cut anything," he said in a tight voice and suddenly he sat on the ground. "Don't make faces like that, it's hard for me to stay angry at you!" 

"W-what faces?" I stuttered a bit, being surprised. 

"I don't know, just don't cry." He stood up again and looked right into my eyes. 

"But I'm not, I'm not crying," I said and looked ahead, I couldn't keep up with his stare.

It was silent again until he spoke first. "I thought about it all night, and came to meet you today because of a news." He shoved his hands inside his jeans pockets. 

_Oh god, please don't say you want to end it here._

__

__

"I met my dad yesterday and apparently, my parents had decided to sent me off to Paris. To study my final year there and also become a CEO of our company's branch in Paris." 

My heart literally stopped beating, I couldn't breath. He was leaving? 

"So you're—" 

"I'm not going." 

We stared at each other for a minute and he started talking again. "I thought I would, but after thinking about it, I don't want to. Do you want to start afresh?" 

"Yeah." I bobbed my head up and down in a daze then tried to put a smile on. "I'm Choi Minjae, I don't look like it but apparently, I'm a girl." 

"I'm Yoo Kihyun. I'm a guy and I look like it." He held out his hand for a handshake and I took it. "Even though I'm a guy, there's this person who likes calling me a nagging mom."

I couldn't but burst out in laughter, he started laughing too and we were both still shaking each other hands. "Oh my god, no wonder why your hands are so small." He laced his fingers with my small ones abruptly, making a blush appear in my face. 

"I shouldn't have met you today, I don't feel angry at you anymore," he stated, I could seriously kiss him right now but I stopped myself.

"Let's go and tell the others too." I gave him a big smile hugging onto his arm from the side. Now I wanted to tell the truth to the others too, I wasn't afraid anymore having him by my side. 

***

"Hyung, why Paris?" I asked, sitting beside him while he was driving the car. "I mean, why did you parents suddenly decided on that?" 

"Hyung?" He took a quick glance at me, then looked ahead at the road. "I think it's oppa now." 

"I'm not calling you that!" I screeched, he smirked playfully. "Why, you want to call me honey, or darling?" 

"Ew, shut up! And tell me about Paris." 

"Okay, okay, it was my dream to work at that branch in Paris when I was little, even when I was a teen I really wanted to work there." He kept his eyes ahead, steering the wheel swiftly. 

"How about now?" 

His phone rang and he cut the call off, it didn't seem like he'd heard my question. "I, ah, actually told my dad yesterday that I would go there and he's way too excited now. Who knows, maybe he has made all the arrangements already." He took left a turn in the road. 

"Oh, was that your dad who just called now?" 

"Yep." 

"I think you should go to Paris." 

He pushed the break all of a sudden, giving me a shocked expression. "You want me to leave?" 

"If it's your dream you should go for it. And it seems like your parents expect that from you too, being a CEO is a huge thing. They trust you enough to make you big part of their company. You're still young, I mean." As I was telling him his eyes just went wider and wider. 

"Ho—-" 

"I'll go talk to the others now!" I peered my head out of the window, we were quite close to the mansion. Without saying anything else, I jumped off the car and started running. 

I thought of not thinking about it because that will just make me more anxious and afraid. That I would just say the truth. I would scream saying it. 

I ran inside the living room. All of them were there. My eyes fell upon Wonho and hyungwon, sitting on the couch with Jooheon in the middle. Changkyun, Shownu and Minhyuk standing behind them. There was a laptop placed on the table before them and all of their eyes were glued to the opened screen. 

"Minjae-ah!" Wonho screamed to notice me first. "You're here?" 

"Save me!" Jooheon said out of blue, and Minhyuk put a hand over his mouth from behind. 

"Did you like your vacation at Byul's place?" Minhyuk asked. "We missed you."

Changkyun and I shared a glance with each other. _He told them I was on a vacation at Byul's place?_

__

__

"Now come here." Hyungwon motioned me to come and sit with them. "Watch porn with us."

"You guys are disgusting and nasty lil piece of shit!" Jooheon yelled getting out of Minhyuk's grip. 

"As if you haven't watched porn before. Come on, I first watched it in fourth grade!" Shownu spoke for the first time, almost like he was scolding Jooheon. 

"Yeah, but I'll prefer to watch alone." Jooheon sneered and I noticed Wonho and Hyunwon were holding both his arms from the sides. 

"But you lost the bet, honey." Minhyuk gave him a cheeky smile. _So they were forcing Jooheon to watch porn._

__

__

They were going on and on, and meanwhile I took in a deep breath preparing myself. Kihyun entered the room too sweating a little, he probably ran to get here. Before he could say anything I shouted,

"Guys, I'm a girl!" 

My scream was loud enough to make them stop their conversation. Everyone was silent but Changkyun's eyes were pouring out of his socket, he must had never guessed I would say it so suddenly. 

"That was a nice joke," Wonho commented after a while and everyone burst out laughing. 

"What the hell was that Minjae! You're so funny—" 

"He is, I mean she is, a girl." Kihyun huffed for air and stood beside me. It went silent again, Changkyun came from the back of the couch and stood by my other side. 

With no one saying anything, only the sounds of moaning were coming from somewhere, probably from the laptop. And that sound was only getting louder and heavier. 

Shownu shut off the lid of the laptop with a loud thud and it stopped. 

"Y-youre a girl? Ttis joke is not funny anymore." Jooheon stuttered taking turns to look at our eyes. 

Just then Minhyuk fell on the floor with a loud bam, fainting.


	27. Goodbye

"Man, this is some reverse ouran high school host club shit." Jooheon leaned forward, placing his hands on his lap, his eyes lighting up with curiosity. 

"No, more like love in the moonlight. Or coffee prince." Minhyuk beamed from his seat, making Hyungwon scrunch up his eyebrows. 

"You're the one to talk. You fainted when she said she was a girl." 

"Well, I was surprised." Minhyuk shifted in his position. "Like imagine someone you knew came to you and said they were a vampire, or werewolf." 

"Dude, she ain't a werewolf,. Hyungwon looked like he was done with Minhyuk. "When did you start watching those kdramas?" 

"As if you guys didn't watch goblin," Minhyuk vented angrily, all of us had to draw our heads back for the loudness of his voice. 

"I cried watching goblin." Wonho shyly put his hand up. 

"Anyone can guess that hyung." Changkyun rolled his eyes, leaning his body back in the couch. 

I couldn't help but laugh seeing these dorks, and I felt relieved that they had finally come to accept it and went back to their normal states. Which I didn't expect them to do this fast. 

For the past three or four days, they couldn't properly talk to me. Most of them felt embarrassed, some awkward. I was awkward myself. No one was angry at me but they couldn't just see me like before. 

Definitely, Changkyun and Kihyun had talked to them while I wasn't here, they seemed like they were really enjoying as they were conversing with me again. It felt just like before.

"I loved all the goblin osts so much." I joined in the conversation. 

"Putting that aside, aren't you leaving this place, Minjae?" Jooheon asked, and I nodded agreeing. 

"Since I'll be living as a girl now, people would find it weird, if I stay here." 

"Yeah, we talked about that. I'm just happy your new place is close to ours. If you don't come and spend most of your time here—" 

"We'll invade your property." Minhyuk completed what Jooheon was saying.

"Of course, I can't live without you guys. And I'll still help you out here, your first girl employee ever." I put my hands up in their air, hollering. "Though it will be awkward at college, people there thought I was a guy too.''

"They will be alright, we'll be there to support you." Wonho smiled at me. "It was a lot of paperwork to change your gender back at college but we're glad you weren't fully registered at the first place." 

"Well, I forget that I'm a girl too, most of the time." I gave them a sheepish smile rubbing my head. 

"Cute!" All of them exclaimed together except Changkyun. 

"You better be careful here." He laughed like the devil instead. "Kihyun will whoop your asses!" 

"Oh my god, I forgot." Minhyuk clutched a hand over his heart, making his eyes wide. "I totally forgot they were dating!" 

"You almost fainted again when you heard it." Hyungwon gave a goofy smile this time. "I don't blame you for it. Who would've thought."

"You guys are making me shy. Let's not talk about it," I said meekly but they didn't seem to hear it. 

"It's good that Kihyun is going to Paris, right?" Jooheon turned, and all of them bobbed their heads up and down agreeing. "Like, we can flirt a little that way." 

"Minjae!" Kihyun called my name from the back and I stood up. He trotted inside the living room while rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. "Should we go shopping now?" 

"Yeah," I agreed giving him a bright smile, then turned around to meet others. "I'll see you guys later." 

"What were you talking about? You all look like you just saw a ghost." Kihyun came forward and most of them tried acting busy, avoiding to meet his eyes. "What's wrong with them?" He asked me. 

"Nothing. Let's go.'' I tried dragging him away, and before going through the main door I looked back, and waved them goodbye. 

"That fuck totally scared me!" Minhyuk yelled loudly and Kihyun had heard it, but we were already outside. 

"What the hell. Were they screwing with you Minjae?" He looked like he was ready to get into a fight. 

"I think they were screwing with you instead, Mom. Let's go now." I held his arm, reassuring him but he still looked pissed off, and I just knew the guys did it too to make him furious.

"Do we get to spend the whole day together? You said you had to go and buy stuff for you new place with Byul." He calmed down as we got inside the car. 

"I cancelled it. Changkyun said he will go with her instead of me." I snaked the seatbelt around me, Kihyun helped before he started driving. 

"Then it's good. What do you think I should buy first?" 

"Lets go buy new outfits!" 

We were going to buy everything Kihyun would need in Paris. I acted as if I was excited, but I wasn't much inside. 

***

"You know I don't really need to go there, you just have to say the word," Kihyun muttered as I was holding up a shirt in front of him, to see if it looked good on him but honestly anything looked good on him.

"Do you think it's cold there? Maybe we should buy winter outfits too?" I asked, ignoring his question. 

"Come on, Minjae!" He said a bit frustrated and I let out a giggle. 

"Why? Are you afraid that I might cheat on you? Or will you do it with Eunbi?" I teased but the frown on his face got bigger. 

"Do you think I'll cheat?" He grimaced, I shrugged in response. 

"I don't think you would, that's why I'm telling you to go, because I trust you. And we talked about this, I don't want to be the reason why you wouldn't live yours or your parent's dream. And wait—" I gestured him to stop as he opened his mouth. 

"Even if you say it's not your dream anymore it is a great step to achieve success right? You'll have to admit that." 

Saying that, I didn't give him a chance to talk and went towards the holder of suits, he followed from behind. 

"W-what if I say, I can't live without you?" 

He stuttered from behind, I turned around and he looked away, avoiding my eyes. "I mean I need to settle down there first, and I wouldn't be able to see you everyday like this. Won't you miss me too?" 

He looked so cute, I was internally screaming and squealing. He felt like a small child and I wanted to protect him at all cost.

But this wasn't the time to get soft. 

"We will call each other at least ten times a day, video calls at least once before going to sleep. And you can get a vacation in a few months so we can see each other soon. It's not like you'll be gone for years!" I said it in a mocking tone and he let out a groan. 

"Few months! Few months? I'll die." He threw his hands up in the air. 

"Then what if I say I'll give you a surprise if you wait patiently for your vacation there?" I whispered, getting close to him. Then I held his hand and intertwined our fingers together. 

He blankly stared at me for a second, but then a blush appeared on his cheeks. "What kind of surprise?" 

"You'll see, you'll be surprised for sure." I let go off him and took the pile of shirt I'd chosen in my arms, then I started walking towards the cashier. 

"It will not be anything perverted, sorry if I got your hopes up there." I smirked by myself and thankfully he couldn't see it since I had my back facing him. 

"What? Why? I thought—"

Even though, I couldn't see him I could feel his disappointment. 

"You're so dirty minded. How could you think of something pervy?" I scowled at him but snickered again turning my face away. 

"T-the way you said it,—" He shouted. One look at him and his face was all flustered. 

"I still promise it's a good surprise," I assured him and he rolled his eyes. 

We spent a few hours buying new things, it almost felt like we were newlywed couples. Just the thought itself made my heart feel funny. _Will we ever get married?_

__

__

_Will he still like me this way after coming back from Paris?_

__

__

Every time I was having fun and enjoying, these sad thoughts kept appearing in my mind out of nowhere and every time I shook them away, I could still feel my heart aching in pain. 

"What do we do next? Do you want to eat anything?" We came outside the third shopping mall we had visited. Holding each others hand, we walked down the streets filled with people. Both of us were smiling like idiots and we didn't even try to hide it. 

"But we just ate!" I laughed shaking our hands back and fourth in rhythm with our footsteps. 

"Oh, wait. We did." Kihyun laughed with me, we were acting like teenagers in their first love. "Then do you want something? I'll buy you anything today."

"I want something to remember you by." My grip on his hand got tighter unknowingly, realizing that I'd have to let go soon. 

"Like what?" His question snapped me back from my thoughts. 

"You'll see. But have you realized that people are staring at us? I mean, I look like a guy." I couldn't but burst out in laughter imagining their thoughts seeing us. "They think we are gay." 

"I don't care. If you were a boy, I would still love you." He gave me a small smile and I looked away, my eyes were watery and I didn't want him to see that. 

Sometimes I thought I didn't deserve him, but I didn't want to let him go either. 

"And! We're here!" I did a _tada_ pose in front of a pet shop. I was almost dying of excitement, however, he was totally in shock. 

"Don't tell me we're here to—" 

"To buy a hamster, yes."

He froze in his spot. Next second, he got mad and started walking away. "I'm leaving." 

"Hyung, please." I hugged his arm, making him stop in his way. "Please!" 

"I think I've told you a hundred times that agyeo doesn't suit you," he said it in a straight face but I pouted more blinking hard.

"Pretty please? I'll name him Kihyunnie!" 

I didn't know why, or how he had agreed but after a good few minutes, I had this small cage in my hand and I couldn't stop myself from cooing over the white and orange small hamster. 

"I love him so much, aw look at the way he eats. He's a ball of marshmallow!" I squealed as we were walking side by side. 

"I'll admit that it's cute now can you stop fangirling?" He snarled at me and walked a few steps ahead. 

"Aw someone's jelly." I ran my way to catch up with him. "And over a hamster." 

He was attempting to scowl at me again but I didn't give him the chance. Before he could do it, I placed a quick peck on his cheek. 

He stopped walking, giving me a wide eyed look he slowly touched where I had just kissed. 

"I forgot that you were wild," he mumbled. I gave a slap on his shoulder. 

"That was a thank you gift for the hamster, you idiot." I took rushed steps ahead, leaving him behind. 

He caught up to me from the back and started walking holding my hand. 

I thought of acting that I was angry at him, but couldn't. Instead, we were both giggling again. 

"I'll cook tonight. What do you want to eat?" He asked. 

"Anything. Just don't try to do the saltbae thing because last time you pulled a muscle doing that." 

With a hamster in my hand, and my real life hamster in another I felt like the happiest person on earth. And really sad at the same time. 

_I'll miss you so much Kihyun._


	28. Epilogue

"How do I look?" 

I came out of the washroom, wearing a pastel pink dress that rested right above my knees. It was quarter sleeved in white, and looked pretty light and _cute_ perfect for the summer but I still felt uncomfortable. 

"Bitch, I'm—" Byul didn't complete her sentence as she got up from the sofa, her mouth parting slightly in awe. She held my hand and dragged me towards the human-size mirror in her apartment. 

"Forget about Kihyun, and let's get married!" She shouted holding me in front the mirror, her head peering from my back. "You and I, okay? Lets get married!" She beamed, excitedly. 

My uncomfortableness was now gone and I started laughing, meanwhile I looked at myself in the mirror. I almost looked unrecognizable. The dress was definitely not my style but, I was only going to wear it for one day. 

"Don't need to be gay for me when you have Changkyun," I said playfully turning my head towards her, making her excitement vanish into thin air. 

"He's an asshole." 

"You've been good friends with him for a while baby." I giggled. Byul was trying to apply simple makeup on my face. Coating my face witg foundation, and blush, and what not.

"Yeah, he can be good sometimes but most of the time he's a major asshole. Holy— talking of the devil!" Byul suddenly hollered looking at the door and I turned around to see Changkyun giving her a blank expression. 

His eyes then landed on me, he didn't say anything and looked at Byul again. "I see, you're busy with a friend. I'll be coming back in ten minutes. Don't you remember Kihyun is coming back—'' 

"This is Minjae, stupid." Byul rolled her eyes at him.

"Oh," he said and looked at me, his eyes got wider. "Oh!!'' He made a weird, loud, grunting noise. 

"Don't say that I look ugly." I deadpanned, Byul got back to applying a cherry colored lipstick on my lips. 

"Oh lord, you're doing this for Kihyun?" Changkyun took steps closer. "That's why you've been growing your hair out too?" 

His mocking laugh made my face heat up in embarrassment. I knew this was stupid, but I did promise a surprise gift to Kihyun when he would come back. 

It'd been three months since he had went abroad. He thought he could visit earlier but he didn't get a vacation. Being a CEO would be hard specially since he was still a student. 

But I was going to see him today. 

My insides trembled when I thought about it. Even though we talked everyday, and it almost felt like he was here, but he wasn't, in reality. That was just me trying to console myself. I missed him way too much, and often I found myself crying until I fell asleep at night. 

"I know you're just jealous of my fabulous hair." I flipped my shoulder length hair, mimicking a sassy expression. 

Changkyun narrowed his eyes on me. "I'm just worried that Minhyuk might faint again. This would be too much of a surprise for him." 

"So are we leaving now?" Byul came back from her room, trotting inside mine while tying her hair up in a ponytail. "It will take some time to get to the airport." 

"Yeah," I murmured in a low voice, rubbing my sweaty palms on my dress. "I hope I look alright." 

"What are you saying? I'm afraid he might do stuff to you since you're looking so pretty." Byul held my arm from the side, then she started walking towards the door with me following suit. 

"Look over for your virginity tonight," she whispered close to my ears so Changkyun wouldn't hear, he was walking before us. 

My ears felt hot, as if steam was coming out of them. I felt my face going red but I couldn't hide a goofy smile making its way on my face. "You're such a pervert Byul. We're definitely not doing that tonight." 

"Okay, I don't know why I find this kinky as shit." Changkyun turned and opened the car's door for us to get inside. "Since you're dressing up for him and stuff." 

"You're mind is dirty." Byul made a gagging expression and Changkyun shut the door before she could go inside. I was already inside the car and I sighed watching them from the window.

_There they went. Their usual fight was starting again._

__

__

It took us nearly an hour to get to the airport, we weren't late but we rushed inside. Byul was still scolding Changkyun, saying that we could've come earlier if it wasn't for him. 

Everyone else was gathered in the waiting lounge, it didn't take us much time to find them. Changkyun waved at them and they stopped clattering between themselves, then we quickly walked up to them. 

"Yo, guys!" I waved both of my hands up in the air but they all just looked at each other, then they glanced at me. 

"H-hi." Wonho gave me a shy smile. 

_Why was he acting like that? Could it be that they didn't recognise me?_

__

__

"I'm Minjae, guys." I shouted but their expression still didn't change. Again, they shared awkward glances with each other. 

"You stupid assholes," Changkyun muttered under his breath, taking a seat. 

"MMinjae?" Minhyuk stammered. "It's you?" 

"Oh my god, it is Minjae!" Jooheon yelled, holding his head with both hands, observing me from head to toe. "Guys it's really Minjae!" 

"Hot as fuck!" Hyungwon blurted out, next second he got smacked on the head by Shownu. "I, I mean pretty! I could never think—" 

"You look beautiful, Minjae." Shownu beamed, he looked elated. Now I was feeling embarrassed again. 

"I just can't believe it's you." Minhyuk approached me and poked me on my arm, he got startled. "You're real!" 

Everyone was laughing, by then they had all come closer to me to take a good look. They were all noisy and commenting on how I looked, I felt like a star somehow. 

"I bet I look shitty and you're all just acting." I frowned crossing my arms over my chest. 

"Of course not, I was surprised when you grew your hair to your shoulder but now you look like something else." Jooheon said. 

"But she always looked pretty to me." Wonho smiled shyly again, everyone nodded agreeing. 

"I'm sorry but she's mine." Byul snaked an arm around my shoulder, making all of them groan being annoyed. 

"Correction, she's Kihyun's," Changkyun retorted from behind, another wave of groans were born. Meanwhile, I was just laughing seeing how much of a dork they all were. 

"Kihyun just texted me, he'll be here any second," Shownu said, checking his cellphone. 

"Wow, I hadn't realized at all, look at the time. His plane arrived eight minutes ago," Hyungwon said, glancing at the screen above, filled with flight schedules. 

The nervousness was coming back. I felt my hands becoming sweaty, my body felt cold even though it was summer. For some reasons, I wanted to run back to home and change up to my boyish self. 

Others looked excited and happy but here I was, feeling nervous. My heart was beating so fast I couldn't help but think it was going to jump out of my ribcage any second. 

"Look, he's here!" Wonho screamed looking at the crowd that was emerging out of the glassed sliders after check ups. We rushed to the railings to look closer, Minhyuk held his poster up almost dancing yet crying in excitement. 

It was written 'welcome back home Kihyun' on his poster. They all made it last night and they wanted to write welcome back hamster, but I'd stopped them from doing so. 

I leaned forward on the railing a little, my hands touching the cold metal. My stomach turned, I didn't know what I was feeling. 

There he was, wearing a white shirt and black pants, a white nosemask covering the lower part of his face but I could still recognize him. He walked straight in the crowd dragging his luggage with one hand. He stopped for a second, and ran a hand in his black hair that was falling down to his forehead, he was trying to find us in the crowd. 

Suddenly his eyes landed on us, we were surely the biggest crowd making the loudest noise. He pulled off his nosemask and laughed, then started running to the side where he could meet us. Thanks god, he hadn't spotted me. I was almost dying. 

Everyone started running that way but I was frozen in my spot. I couldn't move an inch even though I couldn't wait to see him. 

I was feeling insecure. My stomach was turning, a bile rising in my throat, making me want to throw up because of nervousness. 

"Why the hell are you standing here!" Changkyun's scream snapped be back from my thoughts. "Come on!" 

He started walking fast, holding my hand. I breathed in, my vision getting blurry. Soon I was going to see Kihyun.

Changkyun pushed past the crowd and kept walking forward in a rush. Soon we saw them with Kihyun in the middle. Within seconds, Changkyun rushed past them and pushed me forward until I was right in front of Kihyun. 

Kihyun was laughing and talking with Shownu but then he saw me and stopped, everyone was silent just watching us then. 

"Minjae?" Kihyun mumbled staring into my eyes. His eyes scanned me from top to bottom and his mouth parted, his hand slowly clasping his opened mouth. 

"Minjae, y-you.." He couldn't say anything and just stared at me wide-eyed. _I wanted to die._

__

__

"She looks hot, right?" Hyungwon broke the icy silence and everyone bursted out laughing. 

"I, I uh.." Kihyun looked away, a blush forming in his cheeks. Others didn't notice that since they were too busy laughing. 

"Do I look ugly?" I asked in a breathy voice, wondering if he had even heard it. 

"No!" He looked at me, the blush in his cheeks got deeper. "I'm just surprised! Your hair is long too, that's why you haven't been answering my video calls?" 

I shyly nodded, a big grin trying to show up on my face so I bit my lips to hide it. 

"I was furious you know." He frowned, his hand brushing with my fingers from the side but he didn't hold my hand since the others were watching. 

"Let's take a photo everyone!" Minhyuk yelled and demanded us to pose.

"You still can't take better photos than me." Kihyun stated and Minhyuk showed his tongue at him. 

"And, Kihyun hadn't changed a bit!" Wonho commented and we all laughed, Minhyuk clicked a selfie photo right then. 

***

"He's in his room, right?" I whispered for no reason with a cage in my hands, my little and chubby hamster playing inside it. 

Changkyun was fiddling with his phone, lying down lazily in the sofa. He nodded and I started climbing up the stairs. 

I'd already taken a shower and wore my casual dress. A black and white striped shirt with a black tee underneath, loose baggy pants like I'd always wear. 

I knocked on his room's door from outside, already smiling like an idiot. 

"Come in." I heard his voice so I carefully went inside and shut the door close from behind. 

He made a disappointed groan, seeing me. "I thought you were still wearing that dress." 

He said as he was rubbing his wet hair with a towel. He had just come out of the shower. He was wearing a simple white T-shirt and somehow I could see his abs from outside. But he didn't have abs before. 

I immediately looked away, my whole face feeling hot. 

"Why? Did you like that better?" I asked, taking a seat and slowly opening the cage. "Look, Kihyunnie has gotten bigger!"

I put the hamster gently on my palms and offered him to pet it. He heaved a small sigh and sat before me. 

"I'd like any outfit on you, so just wear whatever you feel comfortable wearing, I won't tell you to act girly. Or wear the usual outfits girls nornally wear." 

Maybe, there was a time I longed for those colorful skirts, and dresses, makeup and lashes, and all those accessories, or maybe I just wanted those to be loved back from a boy once had a crush on. Now, I was comfortable in my own skin. Kihyun was too. 

He took the hamster from my hands cautiously. His face scrunching up, I mentally laughed seeing how he was struggling to hold it correctly. But his eyes lit up smiling, when he saw the chubby hamster trying to play with his thumb. 

"It was a good surprise, I'll admit that." He looked at me and smiled again. 

"There's another surprise." 

"What surprise?" He gave me a wide-eyed look and I prepared myself to die in embarrassment again. 

"O-oppa," I whispered, my voice breaking down. 

"What?" He frowned. "I couldn't hear." 

"Oppa, I like you!" I yelled closing my eyes shut. 

When I opened them again I saw him giving me a surprise look, the hamster almost slipping from his hand but then he recoiled by himself. 

"Sorry, I almost cringed," he said, making a weird expression. 

"You moron!" I was slapping him hard on the shoulder, making him yelp in pain.

"I won't say it again. I'll just call you hyung, nothing else."

"I was shocked, I'm sorry. Don't say that you are never going to call me oppa again!" 

"Hyung, hyung, hyung, hyung!"

I frowned, snatching my hamster away from his hands and putting it back in the cage again. 

"Argh, why do you give me such a hard time, Minjae!" He groaned frustrated, resting his body against the chair. 

"Hm, how many days have you gotten for the vacation?" I asked, changing the topic. 

"Let's see, two weeks almost." He scratched his head, thinking a little. "Gosh, it will go by so soon!" 

"Let's just make the best out of it." I gave him a smile, even though I felt sad thinking that he would have to go back eventually. "Let's visit all the places you want to, together." 

I slowly reached for his hand that was resting over the table and held it. I couldn't help but giggle when he grabbed it tightly. 

"Say, Minjae." He rested his chin on his palm smiling. "Do you want to get married to me someday?" 

"W-what?" I stumbled on my words, did he just lowkey propose me to marriage? 

No, _I must have been dreaming._

__

__

"Like in four or five years, I mean." His cheeks became red in embarrassment and he looked to the other side. 

"Why? Do you like me that much?" I teased even though I was almost shaking in excitement. I hid it carefully. It wouldn't be wrong if I said I wanted to cry because I was too happy. 

"Y-yeah. Obviously!" 

"I almost cringed." 

His eyes widened seeing how I had taken my revenge and I started laughing. 

"Though, yeah, of course. Let's get married one day. You can be the nagging mom to our kids too, hyung."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the story. 
> 
> If you want to read more monsta x related works, with better writing and those that are lengthier, I have two currently on my wattpad profile, mysha. 
> 
> Duality (2020)  
> Monsta x ot7 and original female characters.   
> Genres: romance, angst, gang, friendship, life
> 
> Until The End of Time (2020-2021)  
> Wonho-centric, Hyungwon plays an important role, monsta x ot7, and original characters.   
> Genres: sci-fi, mystery, angst, romance, tragedy


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